hello? we are in a fight!!!
@chicksdigscars (5483)
August 9, 2011 4:50am CST
my and my partner are fighting at the minute. it started last night and we both went to sleep, fighting. i was obviously more angry than she was because i had trouble sleeping because i was so upset and mad! i woke up on and off all night when i finally did get to sleep, and i had to get up and go to work this morning, whereas she could lay on.. so that made it even worse. so this morning i was in a foul mood and bad temper, and i'm still annoyed about last night too!
so there i was slamming doors, and storming around the house this morning, and i left and slammed the front door while we were still cursing at each other and everything.. and i walked to work.
i didn't ring her on my way like i usually do. didn't send her a text to say i was in work like i usually do. didn't text or ring her on my break to tell her i'm tihnking of her, like i usually do. nothing. i didn't send her one little text or even acknowledge that she was alive.
then she rings me. but she doesn't ring my mobile, because she knows fine rightly i won't answer it if i see her name. she rings my work phone, because i can't see whos calling me so obviously i have to answer. so i say good morning, and then i hear her voice. hi. i say what do you want? and she said john next door gave us a lead so we can use the outside ariel and get better reception. and i said right ok. and she said just wanted to tell you, and i said right bye, and slammed the phone down.
i mean are you serious? we are in a massive fight, and i am RAGING! and she'll know i'm really annoyed by the fact i haven't rang or text her, and she rings me to tell me that?! .. no way! if she'd have rang me to say hi, and to say sorry, fair enough.. but she actually rings me to tell me something pointless?
and i know why she did it! she didnt wanna tell me about a lead for the outside ariel. she wanted to test the water, and see how angry i was.. so she used it as an excuse to speak to me. i really hate that! why don't they just ring and say sorry, instead of coming up with some excuse to see how angry you are?!
does anyone elses partner do that?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
OH dear, i hope the vodka i sent you arrived already! 
I am so like you when i get mad! The problem is my husband would equal my anger and we won't be talking. But the following day we just couldn't stand the silence so at least one of us have to break the ice.
I really hate it when that happens to me as well. Why can't just they say sorry as they know that when they do we can easily forgive?
I am so like you when i get mad! The problem is my husband would equal my anger and we won't be talking. But the following day we just couldn't stand the silence so at least one of us have to break the ice.
I really hate it when that happens to me as well. Why can't just they say sorry as they know that when they do we can easily forgive?@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
9 Aug 11
exactly! .. thats why i havent text her or rang her you see.. because what usually happens, is i'll be mad, and start texting saying i hate you, your such an @ss, i can't believe you could be so selfish etc etc.. and she'll be like ok whatever. ok whatever. which gets me even angrier and i go even more nuts.. and then eventually she'll loose her temper, and it'll be a huge massive blowout! but i'm the more emotional one, and while she can take the names i call her and nasty things i say, because she knows im just angry, i really take them to heart, so i'll back down because i start to get hurt.. then we'll just act like nothing happened.. and i'll have to let the whole thing go instead of talking about it and sorting it out, and until i personally get over it, it eats away at me so i pick fights about other things to let it out..
so today i'm taking a different approach and not talking at all. no text. no phone calls.. not even to b!tch and let my anger out.. and she'll know that i'm really really angry and upset and shes really fu*ked up this time, so when the time comes and she wants to speak to me, she'll have no choice but to actually talk.. because she won't be getting a brand new argument out of me. i just want the old one sorted lol!
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
I can feel the heat of your anger! It's so intense. I can truly understand what you're going through right now. Do you feel like hitting something. I once throw the trash right at the glass window of our office.
At that time my husband was just my boyfriend and i hated the fact that he ignored me when i was just so freaking mad! So i took the trash and threw it right at the glass window and it shattered into pieces.
AFter realizing what i've done, i calmed down and he had that window fixed!
At that time my husband was just my boyfriend and i hated the fact that he ignored me when i was just so freaking mad! So i took the trash and threw it right at the glass window and it shattered into pieces.
AFter realizing what i've done, i calmed down and he had that window fixed!@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
9 Aug 11
lmao. i've thrown cups at her heat, even with tea still in them, i've smashed an ashtray, i've threw things about the room.. i literally go balistic.. but its usually because she ignores me. and just says "yeah ok whatever" .. "right ok" "sure" .. and i'm like.. OH MY F*CKING GOD PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! FIGHT WITH ME!!!!!! lol!!
@koperty3 (1876)
•
9 Aug 11
When my partner and me fight afterwards we have few silent days and it really help us to calm down. We don't fight often as got no time to do it or maybe there is no reason to do it. But anyway if we do some time to think really help. I noticed that I can be silent longer than my partner as after few days he try to talk. If the fight was my fault I'm not ashamed to say sorry. Maybe in your case few silent days will be good idea to calm down a little bit. I wish you all the best.
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
9 Aug 11
so what do i do? just not speak to her a for a few days? we live together though.. so can i still do it? so do i just come home, and watch tv and do my own thing, and let her do her own thing, and just not communicate?
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
9 Aug 11
If you partner is in using methods to find out how angry you are, that is some of your weakness you is using against you. It's very common! What about constructional aggression management. People were laughing at me when I was on the verge of anger, they said I was hilarous looking and acting in an angry manner.
Well I came up with an idea to not let people laugh and use my anger for their pleasure. I went doing physical workouts, lifting weights, went biking, jogging, running I did all kinds of hard working physical exercises. I released the aggression in my being while I grow muscles. You can also grasp that so you'll be calm and peaceful in your whole being managing arguments and disagreements with your partner.
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
9 Aug 11
Yes, you a right to be angry, but it is not that easy to sort out things with a person who is angry. And sometime you expect a person to ask for forgiveness or to say I'm sorry, but they do not. I sometimes say, I am a sorry to the person who should say it to me.
It is like to give then one you love right even when they do not deserves it. It can be seen as a humbled gesture. There is a book about healthy relationships, where there are many good exemplified situation how to deal with fights in a marriage/relationships. I've read it is is very good.
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
16 Aug 11
i waited it out, and she came crawling and apologising!
i believe a sorry should always be said for a wrong, and i will not back down until this is done. i am a proud, sutbborn person, but even i will always say sorry!
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
9 Aug 11
i dont really understand tho. it's not something i need to fix in myself. i have a right to be angry.. because she has done something to make me angry.. so i dont feel like theres anything i need to do to calm down.. surely while i'm still angry, i have a right to be and a right NOT to calm down until she apologises, or makes amends? and instead of doing that she tests the water to see how angry i am, and if im still angry she just leaves me alone, and then tries again later.. thats not fair.. surely she should fix it rather than just waiting around until i'm too exhausted to be angry anymore? then nothing gets sorted.
@Doritoes (84)
• United States
17 Aug 11
That's very annoying. I know how you feel. When my partner tries to avoid my anger, the more angry I get!! Then he calls and pretends like everything's fine and asks me what I'm doing. I also hate when he doesn't do anything (like call or text me) because he wants me to 'cool' me. I mean like really? I'm super angry and you're just gonna ignore me? That just makes everything worst!
I hope you feel better though. :)
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
17 Aug 11
Haha I love this comment! You sound just like me! I think everyone on mylot should gang up on their partners and make them all attend a “how to behave in a fight” class! Haha!!
@Doritoes (84)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Haha, exactly. When I saw your post discussion I was happy to see someone that's like me! People always say I overreact and I should just let it go, but sometimes it just takes that one sincere 'I'm sorry' and it would fix everything but they just pretend like nothing's happening and it gets frustrating you know!
@ggi1love (10)
• China
9 Aug 11
well.calm down. it is obvious that you lost you temper. you can switch thinking, change you, could you say sorry quietly to an angry man?
perhaps, she feels shy to say sorry, so she wanted to talk to you firstly. after you become calm, she may try to explain or apologize. just give her a chance.
OH,Dear,come, don't be mad. you are so beautiful with a smile, right/?
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
9 Aug 11
no but i cannot calm down, because i am angry! and if she had of called to say sorry, or atleast to say just wanted to say hi, or just wanted to see if we could talk, i would have calmed down. i'd still have been angry etc, but i'd have been more tolerant! but the fact she actually used an excuse to ring me, instead of being decent and doing the right thing, has made me even angrier! she knows it was her fault, so why not just do the right thing. fair enough she may not wanna apologise to me when i'm angry, but then why ring me at all? arghhh!!
