How Many Times...
By menace730
@menace730 (506)
Philippines
August 9, 2011 9:04am CST
How many times have you said yes to someone when you really did not want to. I know it took me many years to finally understand that it's OK to say no.
Why do most of us feel like we have to say yes even though inside we are saying no? Is it that we just want to please everyone? Why is it sooo hard to just say no sometimes?
3 people like this
6 responses
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
hello dennis,
i guess its because we dont want to let others down.
i cant think of any other reason. it probably is not the right thing to do but then, if it will not harm you, even if you dont like to do it, yet you know it will make someone happy, i think i can say yes to a no.
have a nice day.
ann
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
ohh you asked, how many times... i think, it's way more than 20 times this year. hehehehe
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Yeah, I'm the same Ann. Except I still sometime don't know how to say yes to a no. Hmmm...I have to think about that one...yes to a no...lol
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
9 Aug 11
I have never said yes when I felt no. I always say no. No I will not do this . No Will not do that. And the one time I said no but my mom said Yes you are , I made sure I rebelled and got in trouble. The next time I was forced to do another thing , I felt so out of place I failed. I always thought since I can't or won't do this or that , I should just disappear. In other words I rather die , literally, than be forced to do something I can't. Luckily my mom told me in time that I Didn't have to marry , have kids or even go to college if I didn't want to. I guess she I didn't give her much choice. When you daughter say she is only looking for schools with towers so she can jump off , what Can you do?So no is Still in my vocabulary and I use it often.
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Oh...you have intrigued me sarahruthbeth. I would like to here more of your story sometime. But I did not mean to do something you can't. I meant just to do something that maybe you did not want to really do but felt compelled to do it because of maybe wanting to please someone or not hurt feelings by saying no etc. etc. etc..
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Aug 11
I got an out for doing that when I was coaxed into going bowling. I thought that I Had to go and I had a terrible time so much so that my mom said if I didn't want to go, I didn't Have to come. I said ok and I haven't bowled since nor will I ever. That was in 1983! When I vow Never to do something ever again , I mean it. But... I can change my mind because back before 2005 , I said I rather cut off my hands than use.... a computer! Oops. Here I am promise not only broken but smashed to smithereens ! ps. just send me a private message and I will answer Any , well Almost any, question you have about the woman behind Sarah Ruth Beth.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
15 Sep 11
Hi, menace730. I have said yes, when I really meant no, so many of times. I say yes, because I fear that this person will get mad at me when I say no. I say yes, because I don't want the person to think that I am being mean. I say yes, because I don't want to seem as if I am being too stingy. I may say yes, if I may need a favor from them too. I say yes, because I am scared of this person. This is how I used to be, the "old me", would have said yes, to anything. Now the "new me", declines whenever I can't or just don't feel like doing something for someone else. This also involves giving someone something, too.
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
Yes cream...this is how it should be. We should not say yes out of guilt etc. We should say it when we want to. Of course there are always exceptions, like if a loved one asks me to do some thing (mom or dad), I do it.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Honestly, i don't say yes, when i don't like what is being offered or being said. I know, i am can be frankly brutal, but it's better that way, rather than fool them into believing that i want to, when all along i don't. 
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Yes your right. As they say honesty is the best policy. I thought I was pretty straight forward type of guy but I'm learning that I'm not sometimes. I guess I pick and choose who I will say no and yes to. I should be honest across the board though.
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
9 Aug 11
I can say I've said "yes" to things I didn't really wanna do a million times! I don't know why and I still do. I just feel that the other person gets disappointed if I don't and I just don't want to hurt them. It's more like not wanting to hurt them than trying to please them, in my case. I hopw I learn soon too that saying "no" isn't so bad.
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Yes, I felt the same way. especially if it was family or friend. Then I realized that people would say no to something I asked. So I figured why not say no also if I did not really want to. Of course I don't just say no...I usually give a reason why I can't or don't want to. Maybe I still feel the same though because I feel I have to explain myself to them when I say no. I guess that is just as bad, so I guess I'm still learning.
@cutiemeryll (143)
•
30 Aug 11
Hi menace, yes I did that so many times already since I was born in this lovely world. It's because I just don't want to offend somebody, even though I don't like to say yes. I'm just a tactful person. But I have nothing to worry about that.
Nice discussion, God Bless!
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
Thanks cutiemeryll...I used to also not want to offend anyone but I found out that it's OK to say no, but as you said, I try and do it tactfully.
