Just Joking?

Hi Amanda, Thanks for your feedback. My lover actually played this joke on me Thursday. I laughed it off because I know we joke around about a lot of things. It started to bother me, so I communicated it to him Sunday. Told him that wasn't something to joke around with. He blew it up into something big and made me look like the villain. I had to fight to get the thought of him cheating out of my head..Just a thought. I really believe he is faithful. He told me that if I really loved him, then the thought wouldn't have never came up..I'm like, are you serious? We are human. He said we're gonna have problems if you cant take a joke. He turned this thing around to blame me. I didn't mean for it to blow-up, but he took it there. All I wanted him to do was take responsiblity for his actions.

Well he actually needs to learn that jokes are okay but not when they put things into your head. I would do the same to him and joke around about cheating likehe did and see how he likes it. I bet you he will respond the same as you.

So on point Amanda. I actually asked him how wouold he feel. He said knowing him, he would've seen it as a joke, and it wouldn't have bothered him.It was his pride talking.I said ok. Time will tell, because I'm gonna test this thing. He's not being honest and real with himself. I had to let go because I starting beating myself up.

ahh! the pride of a man.. i have one too.. but i have learned to swallow it, all for the sake of love.. well i guess, everything is going smoothly now..

So true..That is what its all about Keith. What will we do and won't do for love? I have to ask myself that question from time to time

Thanks Keith, He didn't apologize right off. He blew it up to something bigger and tried to flip the strip instead of apologizing right off. He apologized after I stood up to him. He called back saying he was sorry. I let him know that he needed to take responsibility for his part and stop being caught up in pride. He needed to be broken down, and I'm glad I could do the honors. He's been hurt and I told him I understand that. At the same time, who hasn't been? I have too. But he can't allow his self to get in the way of loving others...

That is the best attitude to have, don't take anything from anyone. You should be able to voice your opinion without him thinking that you are evil or something. I personally was in your situation a while back and unfortunately for me the joke became a reality but hopefully in your case it won't. Mine told me the same, "you need to laugh and have fun, it's only a joke" but to me it was hurtful and I thought he just didn't care. It's like you say his pride is getting in the way and what we call it in the Mexican tradition is "machismo" meaning the man is always right and the woman wrong. Basically machismos want the women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and under their foot. Of course I have an attitude like yourself so I wasn't having it with my last partner and high tailed it out of that relationship. It's good you put him in his place, he needs to know that you are a strong, independent and self thinking woman, don't ever lose those qualities.

Thank you for your response. My lover made me feel like the villain because I didn't like the joke. Went even further and said that he's not gonna walk on egg shells because I can't take a joke. How insensitive is that? I told hime that he has too much pride and he is wearing a mask. Basically, he was ego tripping saying THIS IS ME, SO GET USED TO IT. I told him, I don't think so. Confidence is one thing, but pride is so dangerous. We had a a disagreement over this, which I think needed to happen. He needed to see himself because he always love to point out the flaws of others. We are in a fairly new relationship. He told me after we had this disagreement that no one has stood up to him like that and he has met his match..He is right, I voice my opinion and back down from anyone.......

Also, thanks for the advice. I'm gonna watch this thing closely!!

Thanks Dominique, We discussed it, but I was made to be the villain in the situation, but I didn't back down..I've experienced a lot in my liftime, and I have grown. I wont tolerate things now that I have in the past. If he wants to keep ego tripping, I will let him go in a heartbeat...

Also, I don't believe he's cheating, but I believe its in his heart...