I am helpless... don't know what to do?

The only thing best suited in Indian context here is GET MARRIED. Nothing else will help. Leave that drinking habit and become a better guy, find a girl and then get married. And yes, stop pitying and blaming yourself or anyone as that is NOT going to help. You are the only one who can help yourself. I wished I could also say - you are not prioritizing your stuff correctly - you want to be a good sone but also not leave your job? I mean you can take a day's leave and attend to your responsibilities as a son... Moms are more precious than jobs (Just my view)

YOu can make your parents feel how worried and caring you are to them even though you are not able to be with them physically. You can also hire someone to nurse your mother. I hope they get well soon.

hi shibham so you really need someon other than your dad to be sure uour mom obeys the doctor and does not move around and make her condition worse? Do they have visiting nurses there in India as we do here in the Us? the nurse would come in and oversee your mom during the day then leave at night. Would this work for you?too bad you do not have some Aunts or cousins who could come and stay with your mom?i realize your plight as you have towork and are not close to where y our mom lives and your dad is forgetful so he would not be reliable to care for her. I hope you can find somone who will live and in and help your parents. I wish I lived close as I used to be a nurses aide and could help your mom. good luck and God Bless will send prayers to help find a mirse fpr your mom, hugs from hatley .

You need to search for a nursing home which has all the facilities already now and I am sure you will find one where you live. There is no other alternative as you need your job and cannot be with your parents. I am sure your parents would be having medical insurance that could take care of the expenses. Please do a search on the net and I am sure you will find one to suit your needs.

hi shiby, Everyone of us is facing a problem but for sure we always find a solution on it If you can't take care of mom and dad maybe your sister can help you though I know it's your duty being a son to take care of them but as you say you can't do this alone. You have an options hired someone who can take care of them while you are away or stop from your work which is you can't do. Don't worry be strong everything will be fine. Well Mom are hard headed one sometimes they don't listen to anyone hope you will feel better

Hi shibham, I know how hard it is for you. please be strong fro your family needs you so much. I hope you could find a private nurse for your parents for having a maid will not help you out. A private nurse will take good care of your parents..Just look for one and your problem will be solved..

Whenyour dad is having a hard time sleeping maybe he can make hisself tired by doing more around the house. Thus being a better husband. Theres not much you can do being long distance. Except maybe changing your job to and/or school for something closer to your parents.

It is a difficult situation when you want to help but have other obligations like a job that you can't leave. You wrote in your comments that is was hard to find a nurse or a maid to help your mother, but how about a person from your family like an aunt, a cousin, a sister-in-law or another person from your family? I don't know if they live too far away or if they are busy with other things, but I just wondered if someone else from your family would be able to help your mother. Or how about a close friend? In my country your mother would have been able to get help from the home health care team and they would visit her several times a day, but I don't know if the same thing exists in your country.

I'm very sorry for your mom; I hope she gets better soon. I'm also sorry for you because the situation is depressing you and you do not know what you should do. I don't know what to tell you to do in this sad situation. I can tell that you care about your parents. I wasn't there much for my parents either. I especially feel guilty I wasn't there for my mom much when she got in later years. In her later years it seems to be all mostly up to my eldest brother to care for my mother. I always lived out of town. The last year my mother lived I got to visit her a few times. I found I wasn't to good at helping take care of my mother the few times I did visit. The only thing I seemed to be able to do was to sit beside my mother and talk with her and hold her hand. I still feel very guilty over my not being there for my mother. And not I feel guilty because I'm quite some miles away from my home town and I'm missing my little relatives grow up. So I'm not there for them either. I have 1 person I can say I'm there for every day. Can you leave your job and go help take care of your mom? Or is that something you don't want to do would be the hard question. If you can't do it you can't. I'm certainly not one who could give very good advice on this or tell you what to do. I don't know what country you live in but in the US they have these places you can hire home health and if the family is low income they can get it for low, or no charge.

It is good that you are trying to help your parents out in any way you can. I don't know where you live, but is there anyway you can get them a home health aid? It's not the same as a maid but they do much of the same duties and health insurance usually pays for it. More people go into wanting to be home health aids because they are interested in the medical field and this helps them build a little experience in the field while they are going to school so their resumes look better. So, there are many more home health aids out there than there are maids.

Oh Shiby...I am so sorry to learn this. Can you bring your ma over to my place? I will look after her..

Shibham, try to cool it! One can't be able to focus on solutions when the mind is panicky. Let's start with insomnia. Let your dad, try a tablespoon of organic apple cider vinegar with honey. This is very relaxing and will make him sleep. I've used it whenever my mind is baffled with problems. As to your Mom, she needs medical help and she does need a caregiver. Try calling a health care agency, they can be able to provide you with one. Yes, you are a god son. You are concerned about your parents. With all your good intentions, but inability to be physically with them for valid reasons, yes, you are a good son. Quit getting depressed. THINK. Someone can provide you the best answer. He loves you with a selfless unconditional love. Relax and wait for the best answer that He will give you. God bless you Shibham!

Hi! I am very sorry to hear about the problem you are facing now. 100km away from home is really a far distance. If I were to take care of my parents who are sick in you situation. I would probably rent a house or room near my work place so that I can take care of them fast enough if anything happen and need my immediate attention or help. That is what I will do. There is another way is that if your sister agree, you can send your parents to their house so that when you go to work, she can take care of them at her own house and she doesn't need to come over to your house. I think that will make it better for her. Hope that these idea will help. Take care!

I had been in your situation more than a year now, how difficult situation you are having right now. Do not lost hope everything will be fine, if your mom do not wants to leave your family house, better find maid for them if you have hard time to find for one, ask anyone from your relatives to take care for them both father and mother in exchange of small amount of money of course. That what i did when my mother was bedridden cause of hypertension stroke. You know I salute you for being very concerned to your parents, because your sister should be the one who shows concerned for them, I, being the only daughter in the family concerned most when mom was bedridden, my 2 brothers just visits our mom when they have available time. Try to talk to one of your relatives who is not working and I assure you your parents are more secured when relatives taking care with them. If you succeeded you will do your job with peace of mind far from worries of parents' condition and you can do your work peacefully and systematically.

Hi Shibham, Well, at least your dad is able to get around so he should be able to help somewhat. Is there any way that your sister could stop by at least and help out and make sure that they are ok...maybe do a few things, bring some food over? When my mom became bedridden, my brother lived with her but like you, he had to work all day. Because I don't go into work until 2:00, I would go over during the day and make sure she got a sponge bath, sheets changed and took her meds right. My daughter and neice would go over after school and take over until my brother got home from work. You are NOT a bad son. You are human and you can only do just so much. You have to work of course or things would be even worse. I am really surprised that you can't find someone willing to make a little extra money to come into the home and do some chores.

Well, don't be depress into that situation. Because God's will be follows in all our miseries in life. You've done your responsibilities as their children. If you can't go to see your parent. Just make a little pray for their health. It's really hard to have a boss. You can't just go anywhere what you want to go...

helpless is meaning you had no motivation to help your parents.. You had given your best effort.. Maybe you must pray to God, to help you and give you miracle.. Only God you must Trust now and can help you and your parents too

Ohhh my dear dever I know you are very strong boy so dont worry everything will be okk. Pleas dont feel depressed because your parents needs your help and if will loose you confidence or patience then how you can handle your parents. Tell me please now how is your father? I will pray from God for your father and mother.

I am sympathy for your situation,you have to take care of the aged alone let alone you also have a job to do.And there is no nurse available,so the only way you can do is let your father take care of your mom.In order to avoid your father make thing mess,you have to spend more your lesiture time to make things regular.To adhere a lable is a good idea.hoping your mother can recover as soon as posible.

Oh that's sad. :( I understand that feeling of wanting to be of help to them but you couldn't. But please don't ever think that you're not being a good son to them. Think of it as you're working to be able to help them in a long term basis. It's good enough that you're able to give as much time as possible out of your free time. Don't be sad. You're a good son. Hope your old folks get better soon.