Care for PARENTS...!!!

Of course dawnald, if it is her wish, then there is nothing you can do about it. There are some parents who do not ask for anyone's help and make arrangements for themselves. They like to be independent. They are different and quite rare as well.

Hi celtic, I am sure you did the best you could have done for your mother. It is difficult having a job, educating your children and taking care of the elderly. But there is no way we can wash our hands off, off these responsibilities. Hope your daughter will take proper care of you. Don't worry.

I hope so too. I do worry about it though.

That is the best. Don't think about it. And I earnestly hope that you will not have that dreadful disease.

Hi jdyrj, It is difficult when parents get divorced. It is even harder to take care of parents and step parents(in case the parents re marry). I guess it becomes impossible to take care of all of them. Even sometimes taking care of one of our parent is difficult. Some people do not have the time or like in your case, the distance is a matter of concern. Round the clock care is important and to be honest, some people do take their parents to a nursing home just so that they can have constant care and supervision. I never really thought about this while starting the discussion. But this is an important factor. Thank you for the response.

Then it is important that she has someone to look after her all the time. And since your sister can't afford that time, maybe it is better that she will be at a nursing home. Sometimes, it is not the parents fault, but the children who are just mean and selfish...!!

Hi veejay, I am sure that in India, people respect their elders a lot more than maybe some countries. But it is really not that great in our country either. There are maybe thousands of elders who are left in hospitals and are never discharged because nobody ever comes and takes them. There are hundreds of old age homes, where maybe some million elders live. Actually poor people hardly leave their elders in such homes. They do not have the money, and more over, these things are not very common in people who are below or around the poverty level mark. Well - educated, middle class and wealthy people mostly leave their parents in old age homes. I can understand in western countries, where maybe the facilities are really great for the elders in such homes, people keeping their parents so they can have even better care and fun. But it our countries I am yet to come across any homes which can be remotely termed as even decent. It is a pity that we, who are so proud of our culture, are least bothered about our parents when we mean the world to them.

we are the same condition with India in China.Old people live with their adult chirldren until the end.only some who lose or no chirldren will be taken care of by goverment.the good and professional service will surpport a good life.

Hi visions, Do you really think that we have more work load than our parents?? True, life has become more paced and everybody seems to be running. But, it is not like we are the only ones, who have kids and also parents to look after. Our parents had to go through the same thing. They didn't send their parents to old age homes did they?? Old age homes are an alternative in tough situations, when you live far away and your parent won't come to live with you, or they need constant supervision which you can't provide or something.

I agree because that's mostly what my point is. I still don't think it's a negative thing.

Hi Simplyd, From what I understand, your sisters are lucky to have your parents. If not for them, your sisters would have to live on their own. But, atleast they have their girls with them and you guys also visit sometimes. That is nice and your parents feel very good and proud to see all of you together at parties. Thank you for the response.

Yeah, it is working both ways and that is good. Your sisters are working now, so it would not be much of a problem financially. Thank you for the response.

You are very correct! My sister are lucky to have our parents. They were able to help them have their children go to College until they are now with jobs. Now, it's my sisters' turn to take care of them too. God made it that way, so that when my parents are older( as they are now), they will not be alone by themselves.

Hi neildc, Everybody will like their children to take care of them when they are old and be with their family. We all love our families.

Hi saphrina, That is what I have come to realize recently. It is very hard if your own family don't care for you. That is as little as you can ask for as a parent. Thank you for the response.

Hi hardworkinggurl, Whether you want to stay at home or in a nursing home is entirely upto you. And I am sure when parents decide this their only concern is their children. But sometimes when a person wants to stay at home, they are forced to be at an institution for the old. That is something I disapprove. It is good to know you don't want to be a burden for your children and are thinking in advance. But, maybe they would want you to be with them. Consult with them when that day comes.

Hi whatrow, I am not putting down the nursing homes or old age homes. I just think that there is no substitute of living with a family and old people tend to get more and more attached to their family. It hurts them so much when they can't live with their family, for whatever reason that may be. So, according to me, they should not be taken to live in old age homes unless the situation really demands it.

Hi mino, When we love someone, we automatically take care of them. So, no wonder people who love their parents usually don't leave their parents in old age homes. But, even if, someone had been the best parent, their child should not abandon him when he is old. No matter how the parent was, in bringing up his child, the child should ultimately take care of his parent when he can't do so himself. Thank you for the response.

Hi goggles, That is really sweet to know. I never really watched any movie on this topic, but I am sure there are a plenty. Thank you for the response.

Hi bielyn, Every one loves to be with their family. Old people more so, than the younger generations. Thank you for the response.

Hi luckbear, I did not really know that. I love the traditions in China. The festivals are so colourful. It's nice that you call your father on father's day. But I am sure he won't be too upset if you hadn't called him on that particular day. If you talk regularly, that is gonna do fine for him, I guess. Of course, when our parent stays with us, do we really take care of them and spend time with them!! Every child should ask himself that. Self evaluation is the best way to know whether you are giving your 100% Thank you for the response.

Hi koperty, Some families do have problems. Some times the parents also make it very difficult to take care of them by not going to stay in their children's new home and stuff but those are few. You surely have had some first hand experiences dealing with old parents and their children. You will know about this stuff more than me. I am actually seeing this around me recently. I wasn't aware this is happening in almost every other home and I am not liking this one little bit.