Don't say yes if you are not coming!

I know how this can be frustrating, but I would rather have them RSVP with a yes and then have the decency to tell me that they can't make it than to have them RSVP with a yes and then not show up at all. I recently had to do this and I felt horrible, but it was due to work. I was on call for the weekend and I waited til the last minute to RSVP since I had not received a call to work for anyone. Sure enough, the day of the party, I was asked to work. Go figure. That's how it usually works. So, I let the person know that I was unable to make it. I felt horrible, but life happens and when things happen in life when you are invited somewhere, just make sure to let the host(ess) know what is going on.

@eileenleyva: To say this in positive way of thinking, I must say that most 'circumstances' do come uninvited and not at the right time. Perhaps your guests have other priorities that no matter what they must prioritize before other things. Different people priritize things differently. Nevertheless, I am sure that I will be as dissapointed as the mother your daughter's friend if I am in her shoes. A hundred servings and nowhere half of that figure come should really take any host down. Not only financially, but also emotionally. For me, I always take the 'best answer for both world' - I might attend. Happy myLotting!

I feel you... Oh where has good ol' courtesy gone? But what's worse is when they don't show up - period - no text message, no call, nada, zip. I know that things do come up unexpectedly which would keep guests from attending, things that can't be helped. And people can't exactly look into the future and be absolutely sure that all will be clear with nothing to keep them from the event. My point is, I appreciate it when people don't leave me high and dry well into the night (or whenever). Sure it's a shame about the food and prep, but please let me know not to wait - that's the least I could ask.

Some times the main problem arises when both host and guests who do not know how to use RSVP in their invitations. For the information of all of us RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". Hosts should indicate RSVP in their invitations to gauge the exact number of guests coming against the number of those who were invited. As for the guests, RSVP in an invitation means you have to contact the hosts to tell them if you are coming and not only contact them to greet them and exchange pleasantries without definitely confirming your attendance.

yes,friends alway do that......and more excuses. it's not the first time i met this. i really hate this .it make me feel bad.

yes this is ofcourse right... to keep a word is very important that most people fail to do today ... results in many problems ,... one such is this... people are valued on how they keep their words...

well yeah.. most people just don't want to turn down an invitation so they just say yes and would eventually not go anyway... for me, i honestly tell them that i can't go if i really can't go.

Hi there...that sort of behaviour is not just rude and thoughtless but it is bad etiquette as well. I cannot say I'm surprised though because all those old fashioned values and standards, like respect and thoughtfulness are being lost. People simply don't care about others any more, they are too involved with self.

I agree, though some things like someone getting hurt or sick can be excused, but this woman's guest list where half didn't show up, I believe most if not all didn't have a good excuse. Unfortunately I have to follow my husband's lead since he has the car, so if I don't show up without an good excuse, it is probably because hechanged his mind and that happens sometimes and it makes me mad..

we all have experience with people like this. i can understand this if the visitor you are waiting for is a doctor, then if she cancelled for the last minute you know that there is a good reason behind. i remember the second birthday of my son. we held it at Mc Donalds and one of our friends told us they were coming, then when the party was starting they texted us that they are almost there, then after a few more minutes texted that they will not come and was caught at the traffic. what such a lame excuse. the party is 4pm. the invitation stated 3:30 for we know other guest if you put the exact time they will all be arriving late. so we are use with this reasons i can not make it on the last minute. i am used to people like this. i just hate it when my party is at home and my wife got tired of cooking for them then they will cancel if for the last minute. well people are people, i sometimes give then doze of their own meds har har har.

Yes, I agree with you if it can not come, do not give false promises to the host so that the host does not expect you to come to their event

Hi eileen! Whenever I get invitations from someone I will never give such definite answer to them because I know most probably I can't accept the invitations. If I say yes and I can't come it will hurt the people who invites me. I just say to them let me check the schedule first and only then I will say yes or no and it is definite. If yes, yes, I do come if no then I will not be there.

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! That is so sad. Not to mention, bad! I'm sure the debutante and the mom were inconsolable! I mean, I get disappointed if I see an entire table that's empty. Gosh....half of the guests were M.I.A. from that 18th birthday? I'm at a loss for words. That's horrible.

I can sooo relate to this! I also organized quite a few events myself and it piss me off when the people who I am expecting to come (since they confirmed and all that) tell me the last minute that they can't. Imagine the resources lost and the effort we/I had to give just to complete a certain number of foods/souvenirs/etc., only to find out that they won't be coming :( Decisions can be changed and that's inevitable but all I'm asking is for them to be a bit more considerate and back out at an earlier time instead of surprising us/me :P

Yes I sure do know how you feel about this. I have hosted many parties of which only one or two people would show up. It is frustrating because I was already nervous about the party and if I would be a good hostess. But alas only a few would show up. So it was not very productive. Its a rule of thumb that you invite like 100 people and expect only 30 will actually show.

i usually do not make promises that i will be coming to an occasion/invitation of things like this. i would say, i will try to be there but not promise.

I will admit that there have been times that I have told someone that I will be going to a party that they are having and I don't make it. However, when I am not able to make it to a party that I was supposed to attend, I do have a valid reason that I don't go. For example, one time my son was sick and I didn't want to have to take him around other people. Most recently, though, I never give a positive yes or no to an invitation because it really always depends on how Tom is feeling. I will make sure that the hostess knows that I intend to come, but I really don't know if I will be able to until the day before the party when I know how he is feeling.

Hi eileen leyva: I absolutely agree with you. I don't understand why people do this even if they feel ashamed of saying they can't go or they don't want to do it. I prefer to be completely honest from the first moment and not giving this disappointment feeling to the person that has invited me, especially if it's a family member. ALVARO

I hate that kind of experience as well. When people says they are coming, we would have already plans with them in mind, setting up things and making reservations. If they can't make it, they should have said it earlier, so that there's time to make changes rather than leaving it to on the day itself, only calling to say sorry can't make it. I hate people like that and i'm sure not to invite them ever again.

Others say yes just for the sake of saying "yes". They couldn't say no so they have to lie. That's worst than saying "no". People like that should not get invited next time.