Is the approval seeking mentality a weakness of the character of the human?
By Anirban
@anitoton (389)
Kolkata, India
August 15, 2011 1:44am CST
hello friends,
i have been watching some of my colleagues over the years,and i am feeling that they cannot do anything without seeking for the approval of others.they are really very talented,and have a good decision making ability,but instead of being confident about their judgement they just depends on their colleagues judgement.and i f they make a decision and some one just disapproves or say something against about it they get really very and end up getting hurt or frustrated.Even sometime i have seen my friends quitting the job.Starting the whole new thing over again.
So,what do you guys say about it?
i think this is a weakness of them.And they have to win over it.
so have anyone of you ever faced this kind of problem?how did you handled it?sare if you know anything about how to get out of this kind of weaknesses.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@pickwick (858)
• India
15 Aug 11
Hi Anitoton.Let us first understand why some people behave this way.Being interested in psychology you know that every behavior has its roots in childhood.Parents who have the habit of not respecting their children and scorning them for everything are the reason for such behavior.This leads to low self esteem in children.So the reason for approval seeking behavior and dependency on others for decision making is a result of low self esteem.Yes, I was like that long time ago.And I have changed myself by reading books and applying what I have read in my life.Let me tell you one of the most powerful technique I applied.I visualized myself a child and relived some of the situations which I faced when I was a child but when someone (my parents) insulted me then the adult me(the present me) spoke to the parents in no uncertain terms, picked up the child and spoke to it to make it secure.Believe me , this really works.After doing this many times , today I am one of the strongest person in my work place and people come to me for advice and approval.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
15 Aug 11
My husband is like that and what is sad is if no one gives it to him, he will give it to himself by saying things similar to, "Look what I did." It is annoying, but I do understand why. His dad was very critical, so my husband probably never in his life got sincere praise for anything..
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
16 Aug 11
He does go to a counselling, we both do, but not the same one. I think he only goes to vent, though the counselor might give him suggestions, (mine does) I don't think he uses them. He also has this idea that he knows it all and won't take any advice..
