Forgotten friend from 38 years ago found me
@sweetbabyjane (1929)
United States
August 15, 2011 2:25am CST
I am very confused at this time and I don't know what to think. This is not something that happens to me. I have a facebook account and have some people as a friend that I went to school with. I graduated back in 1974. I am not close friends with anyone on my facebook friends. One day I got a friend recommend to add a man on that I knew in high school. I didn't because it was a recommendation from someone that used to live 2 houses from me when he was a kid. Then a few days later I got a friend request from this same man. I still didn't add him on as a friend. Finally about two weeks later this man sent me a message and asked me if I was the same person that used to sit with him at lunch. Well it was me so I told him it was. I added him on facebook as a friend. He then told me that he had a crush on me back then and didn't have the nerve to tell me because he was too shy. We have been sending emails now for about two weeks or a little longer. I am getting a little confused. Now,I don't know what he looks likes, he doesn't have a photo, but I have one. Soe he knows what I look like. He has told me how he tried to find me but found no one that could tell him what happened to me. He send me three to five emails a day. He is married but leaving his wife after his probation is over in February 2012. I don't even know what he looks like and he tells me that if I want him I can have him. He talks about marrying me. I am not seeing anybody and I don't go out because I take care of my 86 year old mother and a 5 year old grandaughter. I don't know how to handle this politely. I don't know if I want this man or not. It has been 37 years ago that I saw him. Anyone out there know of a similar situation and the outcome. I do hate to hurt his feelings.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 11
I don't know how your friend has become nowadays, please be careful this is just another facebook scam. Ask him to put up a photo. He will do it if he is sincere to date you out.
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@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
16 Aug 11
Yes, do that. Ask him to at least put up a photo of him, or send a photo of him. Maybe instead of writing emails, ask him to Skype with you or something, just to make sure it isn't a scam of some sort. Until you can know for a fact that it's him, I would be extremely cautious. And if he either refuses to put up a picture or "can't", I would move away. You don't want to put yourself in danger on the internet.
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@sweetbabyjane (1929)
• United States
16 Aug 11
Thank you so much. I have asked for a photo since he knows what I look like but so far there is no photo. I am getting creepy feelings with the things he says like that we should have been together all of these years and how he will be mine. I never said I wanted him though. Thanks again.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
15 Aug 11
Hi sweetbabyjean, Ask him for a photo and proceed slowly, after all he isn't divorced yet. Looks of course isn't everything, and character is what's important. Can you remember anything about his family or did you ever meet any of them? As long as there are no bad memories, it's probably okay to see him and see how he reacts to the fact that you can't go out much because you must care for your mother and granddaughter. This could tell you a lot about him. Don't miss out on a chance for happiness, but proceed with caution Blessings.
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@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
16 Aug 11
Hi again sweetbabyjane, Insist on a picture and tell him so. Don't answer any further e-mails unless he provides it. I'm a little concerned about the probation thing, what's that all about? Maybe you should check it out and make sure that he's telling you the truth. You haven't seen this man since you were in school together, lots of time to change. Tell him to slow down, that you want to wait until his divorce is finalized, and that you have to get to know him before anything serious can come out of this. It may be that he's always had a crush on you and is just excited that the time may soon be, when you can be together, so try not to scare him off completely. You do have to watch out though and I think he should understand that. Blessings.
@sweetbabyjane (1929)
• United States
16 Aug 11
Thank you so much Pose123 for your comment.I don't think a person has to look a certain way. Looks aren't everything and I know that. But he already knows what I look like. I feel like I need to know what he looks like. He doesn't talk about meeting me or going out I guess because he is still married. But he does talk about us being together like we should have been. The thing is I never thought about him in all of these years. My daughter thinks I may be wrong about this whole thing, but it concerns me that he thinks I should want to be with him forever and I don't even know him. I never knew he had a crush on me in high school. And it makes me thing of obsession because he emails me 2 to 4 times a day. Of course, I have no way of knowing if anything he says is true or not.
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@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
16 Aug 11
If I were you, I'd be careful. You haven't seen his photo, and you haven't talked to him in person, so you don't even know if it's a trick or anything. Many dangerous things can happen on the internet, and I wouldn't want you to get into a tangle of trouble.
If you really want my personal opinion, I think this sounds a bit sketchy. He's talking about marrying you without even meeting you in person? That's kind of creepy. And he is just off probation? What was he convicted of? I hope it's nothing too serious. Anyway, it's all up to you. If you don't really like him, let him know. You don't want to give him the impression that you like him, as things can get complicated later on. TRUST ME. Just take it slow, and if it turns out you like him, you can start moving forward later. But if you aren't sure right now, let him know that.
Good luck!
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@sweetbabyjane (1929)
• United States
16 Aug 11
Thank you for your response. I have already thought of those things. It does give me the creeps. I have explained to him that I know nothing about him. He was never my boyfriend, we never had a date. I don't know where this is headed but I don't like it. I know I have to stop it before it gets out of hand. I appreciate your honest opinion.
@rosegardens (3032)
• United States
15 Aug 11
What is he on probation for? That raises red flags for me. Also, he is courting you and still married to his wife. Another flag, even though he says he will leave her. Perhaps he will, or there may be another angle to the story, such as, she may be considering divorcing him when his probation is over.
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@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
It would be better to tell him the truth about you not wanting him now, rather than let him think that you like him. It will get complicated if you will still entertain him. Imagine not having seen him for 37 years and now you don't even know how he looks.
Careful, there are lots of weird things that happens through the internet. Don't be fooled by anyone. Please. 
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@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
15 Aug 11
Thats a long time.He sounds a bit posesive. He may have an expectation of you that may not be able to live up too. It reminds me of a movie I watched called without a paddle: Nature's calling it's a comedy.It's about two childhood friends who reunite years later to take part in an unusual quest that involves traveling into the woods in search of Ben's high school sweetheart. But he finds out that his obsession with this girl was waisted time in the end.
Would you feel different if you saw a pic of him? Ask him to display one.
I would tread carefully but go with your heart. I wouldnt rush anything and whats the probation thing about? should that be of concern??
You sound like a very loving and caring person, I wish you well
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