Haven't met my nephew nor my niece
By lifeis2good
@lifeis2good (1183)
United States
August 15, 2011 5:38pm CST
I have 2 brothers - one older who has 3 kids and lives in MN and one younger who has 2 kids and lives in NY. The older one always makes sure to make it to FL every year since that is where our Mother is from and her birthday is in July so we always rent a house and meet up in FL to have a week's worth of fun. My younger brother only came once with his wife - and that was before they had any children. My frustration is that they go to Aruba for a minimum of a week every year and to Vegas several times a year. Now I just heard this time they are going to Aruba for 2 weeks. My brother is the only one who is working - his wife doesn't work. All of his wife's family live in NY which is why they live there.
My frustration is that I have asked my brother to please bring the kids down to TX even if only for a couple of days because all of my mother's family live here in TX. But apparently he's not willing to even bring up the idea with his wife. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what is the best way to approach the subject with his wife. The last time my mother went up to see them in NY - she came back and said that is the very last time I am doing that. She said that his wife just screams and yells at him no matter what and now their lil girl Eva is doing the same thing screaming and yelling at my brother. Argh!!!!
Sorry if this is so long - just not sure how to approach her and wanted to be sure that all the details are out there for you guys to help me with this.
Thanx in advance for any advice.
2 responses
@la_chique (1498)
•
15 Aug 11
I am in a very similar situation with my own brother and his wife. My nephew is 7 months old and I have never met him, their other son is 5 and I have maybe seen him 3 or 4 times in his whole life. I am always trying to call my brother, and every time I have seen my older nephew, it is because I have invited myself. I found out a couple of years back though that they never wanted me at their wedding and only invited me because my dad told my brother that he'd regret it if he didnt. That made me feel so sick. Since then, I've not felt like bothering. I feel like my sister in law hates me, even though she knows nothing about me, and I dont know what I ever did to upset my brother. To avoid the heartache and disappointment now, I just ignore them, and have to pretend they're not there. Its horrible to have to do, but its all I can do to save my own feelings.
1 person likes this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Wow! Have you tried confronting about this with your brother? Try to find the root of the problem and discuss it like civil adults and more importantly like siblings. I think it's not too late to fix this problem. Just go through it with an open mind and open heart. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
17 Aug 11
To la_chique - I am in the same boat here - it just really all comes down to the impressions I get is that his wife rules the house and unless she agrees to anything - it just won't happen. But I do have to say that the most disgusting thing is that we can't even buy the kids any gifts - whatever is bought for them is automatically returned no matter what it is so last time I went ahead and asked my brother could I buy them both a really cute UT of TX outfit and was told yes he was sure that would be ok with her since that is his alma mater so I did and that was back in April - he said he would send me pics of them in their outfits but I haven't gotten any - and anytime I ask him where are the pics - he just changes the subject.
It's really pretty sad to me cause our mom isn't getting any younger and I just feel like he needs to get some B... and bring those kids down to meet my mom's family before it's too late. Sad sad sad!!!
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I think that it would be good to discuss this with your brother, stating how you feel about this and asking what the problem really is. Just try to make it a healthy discussion not one that could rise into a dispute, because there could be a chance that he will see this as an attack to him and his family. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
17 Aug 11
Well I have tried to talk to him but never get any answers - he just basicaly makes it all sound like he's afraid to even ask his wife about bringing them down here and last time my mother was there - she could feel the tension all through their house so am not sure how to proceed with this.
