How do you tell someone that they need to listen more?
@lilbabycatapillar (497)
United States
August 16, 2011 8:44am CST
Telling someone that they generally need to listen more often is kind of a catch-22. I always try to tell my mom that she needs to listen to people, rather than tell them all about her problems all of the time and talk so much on the phone, and give other people a chance to speak. The problem is, she won't listen to me, either! 
I have to admit, I definitely inherited this trait from her, as I have noticed that I tend to talk more than listen. I noticed that I forget people's names a lot, and important things about them. In the past few years I have noticed this weakness and tried to improve, and I have to say, I have been doing well.
It's really important to be able to recognize your own fatal flaws and overcome them. While people say that you can never change, it's not true. You can change. But the trouble comes with trying to change other people!
I have to admit, I definitely inherited this trait from her, as I have noticed that I tend to talk more than listen. I noticed that I forget people's names a lot, and important things about them. In the past few years I have noticed this weakness and tried to improve, and I have to say, I have been doing well.
It's really important to be able to recognize your own fatal flaws and overcome them. While people say that you can never change, it's not true. You can change. But the trouble comes with trying to change other people!2 people like this
8 responses
@catof1 (683)
• United States
16 Aug 11
People learn by example more so than words. Some get insulted or their feelings hurt. I was told by my husband that I talk too much and interupt him. I thought about it and realized I do do this, but for a reason; if I don't interupt I don't get heard or get my say so in. SOOOO as a result we are working on letting the other person finsish what they are saying (with out making noise and trying to figure out what to say as they are talking to you) and then let the other person talk. It seems to be working thus far.
1 person likes this
@163Mandolingirl (1052)
•
16 Aug 11
Listening is an art we all ought to learn. If we yak all the time, we will never hear anything!
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
21 Aug 11
Hi lil,
Very true. Some thing from the gene and something from the habit. Most people love to talk than to listen to.
Just fancy when people open before you they have some issue and want to be addressed for a solution. But instead of listening to him/her you started your own story. This is a bad habit.
Thus listening is an art and it needs developments and polish.
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
17 Aug 11
hi:)
Being a good listener is very important, Being a great listener can win us friends,
improve our relationship to others, It can make people feel so good about being with us,so it's nice to be a good listener though but sometimes its not that easy to do, like me I try to listen to my friends especially to my mom, but sometimes I also want to be heard but they are not willing to listen most of the time, so I guess you're right it's not easy to change people.
@mommytam (17)
•
10 Sep 11
People can change. but they got to want to. you can tell your mom she needs to listen more but if that not what she wants to change than she wont. the only way really for people to change is to follow the steps of recovery. first admit there is a problem. second identify the problem. third ask for help to fix the problem. with out her seeing for herself that there is a problem she will not be able to start on chageing. she has to realize something is wrong. when she do that then you can help her identify theprblem. and then help her fix it.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
i believe this to be true... i mean, yes a lot of people do a lot of talking, a lot of commentary.. and they just do not run out of energy annoying others even with some stupid or offending remarks. i see this with my mom too. im just so glad i inherited my dad's low profile always not in the mood to talk or comment hehe
i also tell my mom to try and start being more sensitive around people.. be more of a listener and not a commentator because she would appreciate life more with that. i think i am slowly building my mom's changes and i also accompany it with prayers for her changing for the better. =)
@HeartROB (434)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I could really say that we are the complete opposite. Me on the other hand i tend to listen more than talking. I am not really good on talking, when I talk, most often the words that comes out on my mouth are not the right thing to say. So, in the end i tend to listen more than talking. Just like you if you are trying to practice to listen more, me on the other hand, practices on how to speak the proper words on the right time:((
