Why do some react badly when they found out when they're adopted?

I think it's quite easy to understand.The children who are raised by foster parents may think their foster parents have cheated them for so many years, and their biological parents didn't care about them.Even worse,they may consider themselves as orphans.

i don't think its so much that people react badly to the fact they have been adopted.. i think the react badly that they have been lied to for so many years. thats what would upset mem anyway.

I think the reason they feel angry or they feel resentment is because they're embarrassed by the situation. And it's only because they know how many people are ridiculed not because they're adopted, but most people who don't know any better tend to gossip about this kind of situation and make it sound really bad. And it's because these adopted kids weren't told that being adopted is no different from being born into a family. I feel sorry for the kids that get ridiculed just because they're in a situation that's a bit different from others. Parents and other kids or playmates tend to make a big deal out of adoptions and foster parents when they don't even know what's going on. They make it sound bad. It would be really helpful for parents to let the child know early on that they were chosen or they were gifts which is the truth. So what if you're not blood related to your parents, right? What's important is that they were treated as if they were blood related.

Hi, After a long time, someone find to give a 'best response' remark. Thank you so much for my understanding and reading of mind as well. Have a nice day and my best regard to you all. Thank-s

I am an adopted child and i dont have a problem with it. I was adopted by a doctor from the hospital when i was a baby. I found out early when i was wondering why i dont have a father, i think im only 10 and i didnt feel angry or upset because i am lucky that someone with a big heart take risk to adopt me. Im not ashamed of it. Some adopted child get mad when they found it because mainly they will think... what will other people react to it without thinking she/he is lucky and blessed.

I think what she did to her foster parents are awful. Extending love to someone who isn't your flesh and blood is already difficult but some people have the heart to share it and yet they are repaid by this woman's resentment. I do hope someday she will understand why they had decided to keep it from her. The truth hurts especially during the teenage years where all hormones rage out creating impulsive circumstances. With her reaction, she is lucky she had not found out in high school. Teens tend to ridicule one another as apoljuice1 had mentioned and for those who have been victims, it hurts when peers make awful and hurtful remarks about these types of pasts. She's 23, I'm sure she'll grow mature and understand her foster family's reasons. P.S. I'm glad you're thankful for your aunt and uncle. They must have been really good to you if you have this type of reaction towards stories that resembles such a major occurrence in your life.

Hi kei! Wow, you're adopted? I'm marveling at myself now why that's my first line. I don't know, maybe because those television dramas have romanticized being adopted so much that affected people react dramatically when they hear someone being adopted. Yes, I guess I'm one of those affected people because I used to watch a lot of television dramas back then. ^^ But I agree with you, that girl who ran away just because she found she's adopted totally overreacted! If she was maltreated her actions would be justified but since she was treated nicely like a real daughter, what she did was just plain OA and ADHD. lol She could just had a talk with her foster parents instead of running away like that. She could just had asked them why didn't they tell her earlier about it. And yeah, she should just be grateful like you. After all, I think she's already a college graduate? All the more she should be thankful to her foster parents! There are only a few people on earth who would gladly send abandoned children to school.

I am adopted too and the time i know it is when i was grade two at primary school. My foster parents took care of me like their own child and i didnt feel that i am not their daughter. They are loving parents and even my sisters with their own family loves me so well. I never feel strange from being their adopted child. I never hate them but when i knew the truth about me i feel sad. And that is normal. They always bring me to my real parents and they allow me to sleep with them,but i feel sad. I was looking for my foster parents. They are really good and i loved them. Now they are both in memory remains.

I think its just something that really shakes up their entire world view of life. Not to mention, there are some people who look at those who are adopted in a different light. Granted that's not right, but still a lot of people really are looking at the fact that they are adopted or those who are adopted in a completely different light. They start questioning a lot of what happened. Were they not wanted? Were they given up for a good reason? There are a lot of times where they start doubting themselves, for whatever reasons. Some of them very good, some of them to the level of the absurd. There are a lot of times where it really doesn't matter, in fact it really should not matter. In the end, the fact that if you have a loving home, then it shouldn't matter.

Some time I used to think about such kind of chain of events and in most cases the child would be angry to the real father and mother as well as the foster parents as well. Yes, we can imagine why they are so. It is natural that the real parent ignored or left the child and we would get angry on them. Again, the parents who adopt a child (in normal case) they don't like to reveal the case with several reasons. First of all, the real fact is that they (the parents) would think that their child may feel bad and isolated. This means, the parents still think about the happiness of the child only. Again, if they took a child at the age of 2-3 or 6-10 whatever age, and from the very childhood to an age of 18-20 or above, they look after and after on a fine morning when the child realised that he/she is adopted, why should they become furious or angry to the foster parents? It is only because of their good mind and willingness they adopt a child who has no one to look after and after a period of long time with care and protection the child grew up assuming that they are real ones. In no way they may not treat the child as someone else other than their own child. If they wish to do so, they never go for it and they are taken care of the child when the child were most needed. I should say that in whatever situations, the child should be thankful to the foster parents and only because of their broad mind and good will, the child is in this shape now. Even in your case also, if it true and if they are taken care of you, they must have loved you a lot when you were a child. Can you deny that? All the parent, though it real or not, they have a mind of mercy and kindness to a child, and you must have got it when you were a child. So, in the story what you narrated also, she just run away from home without telling a word, yes, but she should have to think that if they never informed or told about the fact, it is only because of one reason that the child should be happy for ever. As long as the child is concerned, the parents who are nearby is the one for the and not the one they abandoned when the child was born. I still like to say that they should say pardon to the foster parents and should accept their willingness to accept the child as an adopted one. Should I think that this is the compensation that the girl given to the parents who taken care of the child from the age of 1 or 2. If someone adopt a child, that means they are doing a great thing which is equivalent to God. Because not all people can do and not everyone is doing also. In many cases, couple who don't have a child after a long period of time since their marriage may go for the adoption and if they do it, as being a abandon child, whoever it is, they should consider these parent as God, and nothing else. This is my logic and I don't know what about others..... Sorry, if I hurt you or anybody, I said all with a good intention and not hurt the feelings of those who think in the other way. Thank-s

In my many years, I have known a lot of adopted people, both men and women. What I find astounding is the number of people who aren't told about their adoptions until something forces the truth out. Those who find out relatively young seem to adapt better to the news than those who find out in adulthood. One of my university friends always felt like the odd one out, and several times asked if she had been adopted as she didn't really look like the family. She was always told,'Don't be silly...' She decided she must be illegitimate, and left it at that. When she was in her late teens she found out the truth, she had been adopted, and she was livid. She blew up and told her family a thing or two, left the house, and didn't come back for more than twenty years. I think it has more to do with a feeling of betrayal, truths not told and lies kept going. I used to wish I'd been adopted, but it was far too plain to see the family resemblances, and those two people really were my parents. Worse than that, my older brother was really my brother.

I have never been on either side of this situation. But it seems to me that if a child goes on for years believing he has a certain relationship with the people around him and suddenly discovers he has been wrong, it is only natural for the child to become very confused and "act out". I advise patience. The child needs a lot of time, and some leeway, to get back on his feet and adjust to a new situation. Of course, it is best not to wait too long, or let him find out another way. The news should be disclosed under the guidance of a psychologist who can best determine how to present it.

They shouldn't react badly, and that lady in your story is wrong to have acted in a way. I believe that children who are adopted are just as lucky, if not more lucky than children who are born with their biological parents. I say this because, to be adopted by people means they accept and appreciate you even if you are not blood related. They will do anything they can to make you happy, perhaps something your biological parents could not offer. There are people in this world who are born in a family that may not be happy. I've always asked my dad, what if I was adopted, and he always replied, then you are very lucky. I have accepted this mindset from my father and will argue that it is very much true. It would be very ignorant to neglect your parents, if you find out you were adopted, as they have done their very best to be your PARENTS. Biological or not, they have taken care of you as any parents should have. I am glad you are happy and well, love those who always love you.

You were told the truth at a young age, but think about it. she was 23 years old, 23 years of her foster parents hiding the truth from her, put yourself in her place. it is a very natural behavior since they truly did lie to her during all her life.

I don't think it was the fact that she was adopted that bothered her so much as the fact that they never told her in 23 years! there is a trust issue that is lost then. if they told her when she was a child and explained it to her as you were explained to as a child.. I think there would not have bee so much a problem. But I think anyone would be hurt if they went that long think they were someone they were not. It is harder to adjust to as an adult. She feels as if she has been lied to her entire life by the people that were supposed to love her the most.. It hurts I'm sure!

Your foster parent are truly lucky having you kei, you've grown with a big and loving heart. I stand like your foster mom,I care like my own a 1yr. old baby then who was my husband niece. We told the truth to her at the age of ten. However, she brings our name as her parents because she's not registered by her biological parent but still we told her the real score and introduced her to them. At her early age, she's came home crying coz her friend teased her of being adopted. But we comfort her, give our love and support morally so that all her hesitations were gone. Maybe these are the reasons why some adopted react badly after knowing the truth. Hesitation comes to their mind self pity and many other questions why they're given away by their parents, that if no one can explained and give comfort to them, they'll become rebellious.

I guess she is matured enough to know what her reaction should but she is not acting her age I think.Her foster parents did the right thing to adopt her since they don't know her real parents.As you have said she is left in front of their doorsteps when she was a baby so there's no way they could have learned the whereabouts of her biological parents. It's a good thing she was left to a responsible foster parents.Well maybe she is just angry with them because they have kept it to her that long.

hi:) I think they react badly when they found out that they are adopted even though their foster parents treat them good is because they felt cheated, because all along they believe that they are their own child then all of a sudden realized that it's not true, but I think in the end they will realize that it doesn't matter if they are a real children or not because they will also appreciate how the foster parents raised them and gave them love like a true son/daughter. they should be thankful more actually, because even if they're adopted, their poster parents love them and treated them as their own.