To smack or not to smack...

August 18, 2011 5:51am CST
I have two children aged 4 and 5, and they are generally well behaved, well mannered thoughtful kids. However, from time to time they do really unecessary mindless things which I know seems to happen around the times they have a growth spurt - so is probably linked to a hormone surge. My younger one is more of a problem, though I remember my eldest being similar last year when he was the same age. Last week, we were all in the lounge, the kids were playing on the floor with cars and I said right guys, go get shoes on we've got to nip out for 5 minutes. The kids stood up, then the youngest pushes the eldest onto the floor and bites him - through his clothes - on his bottom so hard it almost breaks the skin. I gripped him, took him into the hallway and smacked him on his bottom for shock value so it hurt and he cried too. Afterwards, I took my oldest into the hallway and showed the mark to my youngest and asked him what he thought. He was genuinely regretful for doing it and was really concerned at how much it had hurt him. The smack I'd given him was quickly forgotten but I can't imagine he'd have snapped out of this random mini rage any other way. I don't smack often and am not hot tempered so when I do it, it is in a controlled way, one smack for shock value and thats it - i do NOT batter my kids. In fact I support this form of punishment for the fact my oldest child hasn't been smacked in months as he has quickly learned right from wrong and always thinks before he acts, asking if he is unsure. He now understands when we talk things out between us. I feel it instill's respect, and a fear of discipline...something I think a lot of people in todays work seem to lack. Share your thoughts...
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
I support the smacking or pinching of kids when they do something wrong or when they show disobedience. If you don't do this now while they are still young, you wouldn't be able to make them obey and respect you as a parent nor any figures of authority in the future. Parents should do intervention at a very young age before it is too late. Letting misbehavior pass will make it look like it's acceptable or okay. Tell them it is not right, then pair it off with a smack or a pinch to deliver the message emphatically. If not, words will just fall on deaf and calloused ears.
1 person likes this
19 Aug 11
Two minds that think alike :)
@scjbxz (139)
• United States
19 Aug 11
I feel like most of the time, there's always another way to discipline a child - an alternative to smacking. However, when nothing works and they just don't listen and can't differentiate right from wrong, it might be necessary. Personally, I don't like the idea of smacking a child. I would try to think of other ways, like a time-out/isolation, taking away their favorite toy, something that would show them that they can't get away with what they did. However, I know a lot of people that give their children a light smack on the hand if they hit something, or take something they shouldn't have. But in the end, I believe it's up to the parent to decide what action should be taken to discipline their child.
19 Aug 11
I understand your views on this subject, but to remove a favourite a favourite toy - to then later give it back to them doesn't really teach them anything apart from patience. I don't smack my children frequently, just when I deem it necessary...this can be anything from once in 6 months to a couple of times in a week. I have only smacked my oldest twice since christmas and on both occasions he was either causing someone harm or putting himself in immediate danger. He's not done either since.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
18 Aug 11
I am a parent of a 2 year old daughter, a 4 year old disabled son and a 16 year old son. I am also a primary school teacher of children aged 5 to 7 years old. I know that children can misbehave sometimes. I like to watch programs like Super Nanny from the United Kingdom and Nanny 911 from the USA. I think 'time out' is worth using and afterwards the child says sorry. Talking about it can help and your son showed remorse for biting his brother. I believe that smacking is teaching a child violence. One of my friends is a man aged 35 years old and he has a twin brother. In their childhood their dad smacked them. As soon as they became teenagers they smacked their dad back. Indeed my friend got annoyed with a work colleague so he hit that man in the face. He was given the sack from that job. I believe important lessons are language and literature rather than smacking. In New Zealand I think smacking a child is illegal.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
It is not wrong to smack your kid on the butt, as long as it is not on any body part. At least the butt is thick with pants and wouldn't hurt that much. But at least, it will convey the idea to the child that whAT he did is really wrong. My siblings and i grew up with our father smacking us also whenever we did some misdemeanor. I can say, that we appreciated it, because we know as a child when our behavior is already unacceptable. We all grow up well disciplined and for that i am proud.