The Uncertainty of seeing "so called old friends"

Philippines
August 18, 2011 12:01pm CST
Hello Lotters, To be honest, I feel uncertain, sad and another part of my bitterness has come out after talking to some people that i haven't talked in years. Or should I say never bothered to talk to me in years. my friend asked me if I don't miss them, I did, once but I've out grown them, there wasn't really moments that made me miss them. Do you know what if feels like to be "Left out of the Loop" theres no shame on sharing me what ever you're problem. the problem is that no one ever trusted me in real life (except a few recently) and I never felt I can be trusted. My family was like that, my former colleagues back in school were like that, so why bother chatting now and wanted to see me again. because frankly, I don't want to be bombarded with Questions and my most hated question has always been "what's your job, were you working now" crap. because I really have become insecure with telling how my life has been. IF they are so not so sure in telling me how bad they're situation they are in, then why bother should i go and attend anyways. Even that buddy of mine, didn't want to add me i had to beg for itWhat's wrong if you're working as a Broker in a Realstate and earning millions, i don't care about that. it's not llike am gonna ask for a condo or something, hell i got a home :P Yeah, I've had my bitterness because I was always the other guy, the common, the usual. Now, i don't know what to do anymore, because I don't wanna see them, my HEART says so.maybe I don't want them to see how unsuccessful I am compare to them, and maybe because i prefer it that way, mind you're own business thing, that's the way i was treated. My past discussion's response suggest that I should give them a chance. well, I might see that buddy of mine but that depends on my mood, but if i don't i might never see them again. ever, doesn't it suppose to bother me? the Reunion is still far because that group frnd of ours is leaving for Seattle soon before the end of the Year. I don't know what will you say, just don't Neg rate me. and for once, just Understand.. I have excuse as to why I have said all of this. but i need to let this out..
2 people like this
8 responses
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
18 Aug 11
uumm, sweetie, you know 'friends" are suppose to accept you for who and what you are. Not for what you have, what work you do, what you earn and all that crap. No offense, but i won't come near such people. Here we call them nice weather friends. And believe me, we had some crappy weather this year. Now, relax, smile and forget about those that give you a headache. What;s important is that you are happy. Only you can decide whether you want to meet them or not. Luck, though.
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Hello Saphy, I am Happy, that am not supposed to have anything to do with them any more because we have different lives already. I don't really feel like going with or seeing them again. or maybe am just having a head ache and then this reunion thing was suggested. you're right i have a choice, unless I am given a time to think, the choice now will be NO.(sigh)
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
18 Aug 11
Have you really thought about it, sweetie? Why don't you just go, maybe you will enjoy it. Just to get out, you know?
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Probably not now. i don't feel i need to decide about. just don't want to lie to myself now.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hi Lk, I think I'm one of those who suggested that you give your friends a chance but seeing this discussion of yours made me change my mind. I think we're the same in a lot of ways, I'm not popular, I'm just a regular guy in school. I don't have that many friends because I'm not a social person. That's one of the reasons I don't like reunions, of course who wouldn't want to see their classmates and see how they now look like compared to 10 or 20 years ago? but more than that, it's just really about their individual achievements. Good for those who are now doctors, lawyers, engineers etc because they can be proud about it but to those who are not as successful, well, you would literally be looked down upon and you looking up to them. As you said, the usual questions are what's your job? where do you work now? what's your position? those are not really questions of friends, a friend would normally ask how are you? you look fat or you look thin, your hairline is thinning...in short, it's more personal because they already know what you do in real life. Those who ask those kind of questions are not friends but they're just acquaintances. They treat you more as a competition and they rate you based on your achievements and they compare it against their own. high school or college classmates that were never close to you were really never your friends, you could just count a few whom you can treat as your friends the rest are just acquaintances. So don't feel obligated to attend any meeting or reunions if you're not comfortable with any of them. If you feel that you'll only feel bad about it after wards then might as well spend the entire posting here in mylot.
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello ybong, I just want to be a friend and not some competition. nor i want to be popular because i don't. I don't know as to why they do crap like that anyways. Yes, i remember that it was you who suggested it. maybe i may not have another chance if i don't give myself a chance to hang out with them. I am not sure if i really wanted to go so i just told him, i just wait for her plan first. thank you my friend and have a nice day
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
If you want to do it for yourself then by all means do so. Just don't do it because they want you to. It's not being selfish, we just have to love our self more.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
19 Aug 11
Letran, Please don't go to the reunion. You will make yourself embarrassed. All of them are not true friends, if they were they should keep contact every now and then in 10 years. I have a bunch of so called friends who lost contact and recently they are holding a reunion. I won't go because I don't have a job, I don't have a husband or I have a good body. I know since I was graduated from high school we will lost path forever. What I miss is their company during that childish year. Now I am grown up although I don't have those things I mention, I am independent to decide what I want and who I want to be friends with. I hope I clear your doubt. Your friend Wong Choi Yee xoxo
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello wongchoiyee, WOW! maybe we should talk and chat more for some time, huh? but well, it's just the three of them. because one of us cheated on our other friend so she needed comfort. i think you have a good body but does it matter if you don't? Like you am free but probably not independent financially but am free of commitments and still can do pretty much what I want.have a nice day
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
hi LK, you will know who your real friends are when you are down and sad. and if you feel your so called friends will make you all the more depressed, i guess there is no need to bother yourself seeing them. make new friends. everybody needs to be happy. ann
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello tigeraunt, I am not sure whom are my real friends are or if am a real friend in the first place. but one thing is for sure, i have out grown them as i have move on with my life. i have made good conversations with some mylotters here even other chat sites and that's fine with me, because it's just for me to have conversations with them.have a nice day
@icats64 (43)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Is this a high school or college reunion? Why do you feel you can't be trusted? Anyways, as we grow up we grow apart from what use to be. We go to school to get an education (high school or college) and afterwards, we go on with our lives. I was always teased by my peers in high school. I never went to the 10 or 20 yr. reunions. I started bumping into those people throughout the years and saw the jocks with the nice hair going bald. The popular girls are fat and have more than one kid. I laughed about it. I went to college to get an education, not to make friends. There were people I talked to and worked with in my classes but I don't keep in contact with them and I couldn't even tell you there names. I may go to the 30 yr. high school reunion (next year)for a good laugh but then again I may not. Friends are people who you hang around and talk to a lot. Acquaintances are people you see and talk to once in awhile. I'm on Facebook to keep in touch with my family. I think it should have a friends and an acquaintance section because the list of friends would be put in the latter. If you get asked "what's your job", just say you aren't at liberty to discuss it or say "many things" and walk away. School reunions are comparison gatherings to see who is doing better than the other person and to live in the past. If that part of your past was bad, then don't go, let it lay to rest, and get on with your future.
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello icats, I have no clue and no idea why? but all i know is that am jut another guy and it took me a while to realize that. now that i have move they want another reunion, because she is leaving for states some day. well, i only want to get through with this. probably i will just thinking of this thing. have a nice day
• United States
19 Aug 11
I sounds like you have feelings for the woman. Write down the pros and cons and see which weigh more for your decision. this event sounds more like a send of party for the woman who is leaving. You can go to tell her "Good luck" but if it is going to be depressing for you then don't go.
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
hi LK, I used to be in the crowd before I know I belong there When my batch mate asking me what makes me busy I did not tell them I have a business What for?I think it's useless they are not the same person I know I can't even considered them as my friend but an old friend Maybe you need to see them once and for all always remember it is not important what others talk about you, because at the end of the day it is still you and no one else You are like that today because it has a purpose and you know what I mean right? I trust you and you will always be my special Kuya don't feel sad about it You are special on your own way Miss yah
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello Bhabycatch, maybe I shouldn't have told them about the Commercial Business but knowing i don't wanna let them know i didn't have job for years then i just said that story for this year only. well, he's leaving for states to start over, she said she's going to study and probably have space to forget the pain of the break up. i miss you but i can't chat because of this stupid laptop that am using right now but am saving my earnings for a pc parts. take care of yourself and miss you too.
• Mexico
22 Aug 11
Hi Letran Knight: I understand your point of view, especially because I don't have many friends and I feel uncomfortable when I am with a person that is just pretending to be my friend but what he/she really wants is to know about my life and what I'm doing. Why to lose my time with people that actually don't care for me. I avoid a situation where I won't feel comfortable like the one you mention. ALVARO
@toniganzon (72532)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
I can feel you. It's really sad that people in our country actually have this proud attitude and they like to compare their achievements to their friends and mock them if they are less successful than they are. And they call themselves friends! Like you i have distance myself to people who would compare themselves to me. One time a college friend of mine working as a manager in KFC asked me if i have attained my dream in college. I told them before that i never dreamed of a house but i dreamed of buying a Nissan Terrano and live in my car! Of course it sounded crazy but i'm into cars when i was young! I answered her NO i haven't attained that dream! And she smirked thinking i didn't have a car! But I didn't tell her i have two cars! And it's more than Terrano! That's the attitude of some college friends i have and that's the reason i don't want to meet them again. You don't have to meet them again if you don't. If they give you bad feelings and make you feel insecure, then don't. It's your choice, it's your life and you know what's good for you and what can make you feel good about yourself! You are not less human than them because you are not successful in their own definition of success!
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hello Toni, I guess she judge you with that remark maybe i should have not told them about our family's commercial business.yeah, i know what's good for me, these people were never around when I had one of loneliness pressure of mylife and sadness before i met mylot, none of these people ever bother to asked hello and how am I? i mean why now? coz they are at their sad situation? i would probably limit my answers if they ever asked something.