Am I Selfish?

When someone had a family to take care, it doesn't mean he/she must forget or leave their dream. They just need adjustment in their life. It mean, they need and must have some preparations and plans to achieve what they dream. Regarding this matter Enigma, are you already made preparation and plan to your future or not? If you don't have any, just let go your dream (you not gonna achieve it anyway) or both you can suffer because it.

Hi enigma! It's not a selfish idea to dream and have plans of pursuing it. If you have the time and the capability to do it all at once there's no need to worry. I guess if you have the money to support him just at least have someone to look after him when you go to work and then you can study during the weekends. If you really want to achieve your dreams you can always find ways. If you lack funding I guess try to look for a government school that offers free cooking course. I know culinary is very expensive so just at least know the basics while you save money for culinary school.

This does not make you selfish at all not a single bit. In order for your son to be successful in life he needs someone to look up to and if you yourself are not successful than what does he have to feed off of. Not only that in order for him to do good in life you yourself need to be doing good also if you aren't doing well financially than how could you possible be helping your son out if you ain't doing whats best for you as well

Not selfish, you are just getting a little ambivalent...we all do on various issues. The best solution for you is to find a middle ground which will allow you some room to fulfill your own ambitions while not obliging you to compromise on your maternal duties. I am sure if you really want to make time for your yourself, all hurdles will give way to help you - so it's about how deeply you desire your goals and how smartly you can manage your time. Your son is too young, so you can wait out a while till he grows up to be better self-reliant, allowing you more time to yourself. You cannot have everything in your life at a time - so rather aim for a balance that is tenable for the medium or long term.

there is nothing remotely selfish about wanting to finish college and become a chef. obviously you want to make sure you give your son enough time, but in many ways thats an extremely sensible dream, as you only 28, and you can probably start working part time, or something, once you have finished college, and as he gets older do more work. i know when you are 28 it seems old, but it isn't you have plenty of time. and at least you know what you want to do, you are doing the training, and it is perfectly possible to do it at a speed that means you still have time to look after him too. it would far worse if, instead of following your dreams, you transferred them onto him, and pushed him into becoming a chef because really you wanted to do it. so don't worry about your friends, maybe the problem really is that they would like to chasing their dreams too. but aren't.

You are deffinetly not being selfish it's alright not to give up your dreams because of your son unless it starts effecting your abbility to take care and help him because that is obviously more important but if it is possible to become a chef and go to school and take care of your son then you realy should if you want to.

Just a Mom opinion here...while it's important to be there for your son, you are also looking to provide for him over the years. That is not, in my opinion, being selfish, it's looking down the road to the future with realistic eyes. People who tell you that you have to be a Mom and not follow your heart are trying to squash your dreams. I'm not saying a child is not important, but your life and future are too, and even more so with a child in the picture. May I suggest that it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. My eldest dtr is a Dr and a mother of 2 children. Yes, her children go to day care, but she spends every other minute with them. It boils down to quality of time, not quantity. I've seen children with stay at home Moms whose children are rude, out of control, and spoiled, and I've seen busy working Moms (as well as ones going to college) with children who grow up understanding that while they're loved, the earth doesn't revolve totally around them...and they're happy, well-adjusted kids. No, I do not believe for one minute you're being selfish, I believe you are forward looking to acquire a better life for you and your child, and for that they should be proud of you and not squashing your dreams!

One of the best things you can do for your son is to pursue your own dreams. He will see you strive and prioritize and he will learn to do so himself. Your dream is not a selfish dream, but a plan for both of you.

hi enigma13 no its not selfish as You want to achieve something that could really make life even better for your son and lots of women with some help that are single moms have gone to college, achieved their dreams and it made life better for their child or children. there are things to consider of course but there are ways to care for your child while you are at school, and if you do not follow that dream you will always regret it. you are still young and that's the time to go for it. It it is not selfish to want to achieve something that would only help you and your son. thats my opinion and I would bet others will agree with me.

hi enigma13. i think you can still fulfill your dreams without sacrificing the needs of your son. you wanting to accomplish something out of your life cannot be deemed as you being selfish. after all, who will be the one who would greatly benefit from your success, won't it be your son? so i say, follow your dreams and keep working at getting these accomplished. your son is a definite source of inspiration for you and would be a benefactor of the rewards that will come your way once you've accomplished your goals.

Absolutely not. I think that your son seems to be your first priority, but that does not mean you should forget the dreams that you once had. Being a parent is a full time job in itself, and just like with any job, you need time away. However, just because you want to better yourself by going to college, it will not make you forget about your child's needs and it does not make you a bad parent. Pretty soon he will be in school all day (and maybe he is now), so maybe you can complete your degree then. But you are not being selfish, so do not give up your dreams.

Hi enigma! Being selfish means thinking and doing things for your own good only. In your case, I can't see it as selfishness because everybody has a dream. Maybe you'll regret it in the future for not pursuing that. Do it as long as you have the chance. You might as well become a better parent if you are able to do that. If you are thinking for the betterment of your son then follow your dreams because that way you have the chance to give your family a better life. You're friends might have called it impractical because most parents who haven't achieved their dreams pass it on to their children. This is the part that I can call selfishness because we let the children carry on that burden of fulfilling their parents dream. Let your child have a dream of his own but as a parent, be able to guide him in the path that he should take in order to achieve their dreams.

I really don't see anything wrong if you are to follow what you want. I mean, if you finish college and become a chef, I'm sure your son would benefit from it too. I consider your wish of finishing your studies and being a chef as a long term goal. It's not being impractical. If I were you, I'd grab this opportunity. It'll be a shame if you are to face the consequences of not doing it in the future right? As long as your dream if for your improvement and for your son's future, I don't think it's bad to fulfill it :)

Striving to achieve your dream life doesn't mean hurting your son. Of course! Unless you can really not care about him ^^. Furthermore, if you're successful and achieve what you want, you'll give your son better condition. It's good for both, so why not go ahead? Best wishes ^^, Hai

Yeah, you should be focusing on your son instead. You won't go far taking two roads at the same time. If you're really fixed on this dream of yours, you should just put it aside first and make your son's future your first priority. This is his chance to have a better life and his goal is supposed to be your goal.

hello, If you can do both. why not? right. if you want to fulfill your dreams being a chef. You can do it if you have time and money for it. but as what you have said you are only the one who provides everything for your family and son. I think this will be difficult to you. But if you really determined to achieve it you can do it. okay?

hi:) I think there's nothing wrong if you go back to college, anyway if you become successful it's not only you who benefits, also him. but while you're studying also make sure that your son is still having your attention that he needed, and while you're at school be sure that somebody is taking care of him well. wish you luck!:)

For me, you are not selfish. Actually I can see that you are really a good father to your son. Imagine, you are willing to give up your dreams so that you can fulfill your sons needs? My advice is, if you really want to fulfill your dreams, don't give up. If you can give your son all his needs while you are also doing something just to get what you want, then why not? isn't it great if you did both? As long as you are not hurting other people then go for it. I think it would be better if you finish your college so that you can have a good job and give your son a good life.

I don't think you are selfish.You are 28 years old and if you gave up, your dreams would have no chance to come ture.

no