Getting Old ....in Frustration

It really depends on the culture and the way the parents raised their children. Children tend to be rebellious when they reach the puberty stage, maybe feel bad about each other a little bit as result of the generation gap but over all it's the way how the children were raised that would determine how they treat their parents when the latter grow old. We also have to take into consideration the preparedness of the parents financially as they grow older. Children tend to be kinder if their parents are not a burden to them especially if they will have their own families too.

Old age can be both good as well as bad depending how hte aged take it.Most people expect their children to look after them when they grow old and get frustrated when their best laid plans do not work out if the children either disobey or neglect them.The wisest course would be for the parents to save enough money so that when they reach old age or after retirement they are not forced to depend on their children for everything.Of course as long as the children are dependant on them the parents should provide for them but at the same time they should save and become self sufficient.Once the children become of age and start earning then the parents should live off their own savings without depending on their children.It is the duty of the children to look after the needs of their parents when they grow old but in the modern age it does not happen and the aged parents are left to fend by themselves and this creates a lot of bitterness in the minds of the parents.so the best thing is to become self sufficient and if the children,on their own decide to look after the parents they should consider it as a bonus.

I pray that my children won't treat me like an old unused furniture dumped in one corner of the house and neglected. My parents have instilled obedience and discipline in us since young so we grew up respecting the elders. I have never neglected my responsibilities towards my aged parents and always ensure that their welfare top my priorities in life. As a dutiful daughter I feel it is my responsibility to look after them as how they took care of me and shaped my life to what I am today. Caring for my aged parents have set a good example for my children and hopefully they will emulate my actions when I am old and fragile.

I am the elderly parent here, and I never give advise unless asked and then I always say if it was me this is what I would do. I never say you should or you can't or even, don't do that. Those are fighting words and my relationships with my kids ave to important to put them on the line.

hello sukumar, this discussion made me nostalgic. let me see.. i do reason out when i feel i have something to point out. but when they start talking in a higher pitch than the natural, i stop reasoning. i always tried my best not to disappoint my parents. i guess you can call me a good daughter. it is different with most kids nowadays. they think they are more knowledgeable than their parents.. i find they are just disrespectful. ann

I always value what my parents has to say over a matter being discussed. Because they are more experienced than me in life, i take consideration what they are to say. Though, it does not mean that their opinions are what always will win with me. I always take all types of suggestions and discern which one is the most appropriate. And when one suggestion fails, i will try the other suggestion. My parents are valuable to me and so with what they have to say.

This is an interesting discussion. I have teens and they are absolutely impossible to get along with. I dont however consider myself middle aged I will be 35 in Nov so I am on the younger end of parents of children this age. I have actually been finding comfort in my age as I feel more in place with where I am going. I just bring my children along with me, happy for them or not. I think that because I am younger they are more susceptible to get mad because I was in their shoes not to long ago so I know what they are up to and am faster to catch their silly games.

My parents were older than many of my friends parents because I was born after the war where my sisters were born before the war (WW2 that is). My father was overseas and my mother had no children and I wasn't born until 14 years after my elder sister. All was OK until I was in my teens and then I rebelled, not so much against my parents so much as their "old fashioned" authority. I never did ignore them or "cast them out". I think fortunately, my Dad, the dominant parent, was a self-made business man and always tended to move with the times, and often told me to get with it and change! _Derek

I think it would be more accurate to say the children have achieve adolescence or young adulthood than to say the parents are middle-aged. Most children go through the rebellious stage and thinking their parents are old fashioned but become true adults somewhere in their 30's when their parents are truly middle aged. Parents are usually relatively young when the children take that bad attitude. I experienced that attitude from my children when I was truly middle aged, in my late 40's but I didn't have my first child till I was 34. And I didn't get nearly the grief I deserved considering how I treated my own dear mother during that stage!!

I was rebellious as a teenager and did not care very much for my parents’ views but I did have a rather abusive upbringing so I am still noy inclined to appreciate their opinions! On the other hand I have been a good parent to my daughter as I vowed on the day she was born that she would receive all the love and respect she deserves from me while I’m alive which has made us very close. I’d like to think that I am pretty ‘cool’ and up to date to what’s going on in her life but, alas, we haven’t reached the teen years yet…Wish me luck…She listens to me now, let’s hope she continues to do so…

For me yes they do it for a time goes by but if the Armageddon done in this society no said sad when you get old because they vain the old turn into young.

This is the most urging problem especially at todays generation. But I would not blame youngsters or the parents alone. I would say a intimacy has to be developed between the two..lack of communications. The main problem is parents worry much and try to control the kids, whereas on the children end, they never like controls and commands. If there is a healthy communication, where parents can make up themselves to be friends to their children and children will find a space to understand the parents emotions and care. Most successful parents and children will be good friends understanding each other situations!

As i dont had belief in any god. I believe my father in my lifetime. He is a god for me. Better to say he is not only a father but also a godfather to me. He still working for my business to keep up in high position. Sometimes i wil dis obey but most of times i accept his words. I love my mom too. Im hurry in earning good money and get married and get well settled so that i can give full rest to my parents which gives full relaxment in their old age. For every children father is their godfather if he disobeys there s no worth living.

i agree to what you've said, getting old is really frustrating, getting old means you are more prone to sickness, just like my dad now, his 71, diagnose with prostate, feel bad about it, somehow getting old is like being dump into a room where you are confined with a possibility of dying. for rich people getting old is nothing, because they have the money to support plastic suregeries etc etc. but for people like us you can not do anything about it but pray that you will be guided when you grow old.

I hope to enjoy my life as I get older. Only time will tell though. It is sure not easy to saty happy in this day and age. Too many bad things happening.

sukumar794, I could not help but add my own observations to your post here. First of all, I believe that there are consequences to our choices and decisions. Likewise, it does happen with our own life and our children. In these modern times, I am sure we are aware of the struggles within families where on one hand they have to work their entire lifetime to make ends meet, leaving their children in the lurch and fend for themselves with the harsh realities of life. We may blame to greed, the endless wants or the will of man. But, I have to remind all that this world is as harsh as it can get. No one could be easily convince to opt out of this rat race. Yet, when we get ourselves in the midst of it, we cannot help sacrificing our time with our family members especially our children who will always find us (parents) too busy for them and their attention. It is a fact, that children take to their parents and as such how much we care and bring them up would really affect our relationship with them as we age and they, when they grow up. Our failures will be the consequences we will need to bear in time to come.

When children reach the age to make their own decisions perhaps it is time for their parents to step back and let their children move forward in life. If the parents are smart they won't fall into a gloomy place but feel proud that their children are moving on with their lives.

Hello my friend sukumar794 Ji, So nice of you for your immediate and prompt positive comments. I think 'JOINT FAMILY SUSTEM-AN ANCIENT OLD INDIAN SYSTEM' is best solution unlike 'NEUCLEUS FAMILY' being followed now-a-days. There is always good relation among all members, where old people take care off youngsters and in return youngsters do needful for old people. Thanks. May God bless You and have a great time.

I would never take my parents for granted when they get old. Many people do that to there parents like they have become useless not thinking that they get old too. While my children are young I always teach them the value of respecting the old people. I would always take them to their grandma and grandpa so that they will grow older doing the same thing with their children. I am scared to that my children my just put me aside when I get old. That would be very sad. But for now, as much as possible, I will teach them the value of the older people.