How do you completely move on from a failed relationship?
By braveheart07
@braveheart07 (2601)
Philippines
August 28, 2011 8:03pm CST
Okay, last week, a friend of mine chatted me asking for some advice and help regarding her current situation. She was asking some advice from me on how to forget his ex-bf and how to completely move on.
I told her that if she wants to forget him, she should delete all the things that would certainly remind her of her ex-bf, anything whether it is photos, messages, gifts, etc. I also told her that she should make herself busy and maybe go out with her friends and socialize. She then told me that she had done all those things and yet she is not over her ex-bf up until now.
I then told her that maybe you are still in love with your ex, but she said that she wanted to forget about him. I am a little bit confused right now. I do not know what to advise her.
Can you give some advice on how to cope up with this kind of situation? Is there a way to totally forget a person whom you had loved for so long. By the way, her ex-bf was her longtime boyfriend, so that would somehow affect the situation.
4 people like this
11 responses
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
The best way for me to move on is not dwell on the good times but think about the bad things about my ex. Like what made us broke up on the first place, what are the things that annoys me about him and stuff like that. If you dwell on the good times then of course you will miss your ex. It seems like your friend still has feeling for her ex which is totally normal because they have been together for a long time and emotions don't go sudden. Tell her to take things slow and just try not to think about him. Block his number and like you said delete or remove everything that will remind her of him. She will eventually get over him but tell her not to go crawling to him because that will be just saaaad.
@love2click (366)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Yes, I agree with you tessa9, very good advice. In addition to it, I think she will totally forget him if she would entertain new love to her life. Definitely it's hard to do that and maybe she's not ready for this but she must try if this is the only way to forget her former boyfriend. If she has some suitors, she may give some attention to them although it's hard for her but at least chances are great for her to forget him.
@GbSb19 (26)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
To move on requires energy and energy is the capacity to do work.It's a little bit scientific but it's true.You should work it out in order for you to move on. Moving on ( forward or backward needs a push and a pull). A push is a motivation or inspiration, you should be inspired by your friends, your families or anyone very important to you. You should be motivated by the things you want in your life or simply your dreams and your goals. So ask yourself who is your inspirations and what motivates you.
We have given one whole life to learn how to love, so don't worry if first or second is a failure and relationships are worth restoring than making a new one.But God always want us to have a fresh start and he never fails.
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
You answer with wisdom GbSb19. Great input, I like your respond very much!
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Exactly I am in the current situation and just now we both in partways maybe but i am hoping it was not. You are right to what you have said to her and long time love relationship is hard to forget and actually she will not forget him soon. Let her still feel the love within herself that she is not hurt until the time comes that her heart get tired of loving him. On the way she will forget him in her own heal heart ways. Like what i did. I let him go but leave the door open to him for there is the time that his wounded heart will healed. then he will decide if he come back or forever leave. Time will heal and the important is we live forward...
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
30 Aug 11
Just advised her to be very busy enough with her studies or job. In that way, she will definitely forget her ex. Our brain tends to remember things that hurt us if we are idle, so be very busy....
@jokerzhunter (129)
• United States
30 Aug 11
Well, my advice is, just tell her to think of it as an important learning experience and to never forget that relationship, just learn from any mistakes that could had been made, which may have caused in to end in the first place. I do thing, it is important never to just forget about it all, and just think of it as just a step in life. It can all improve so be positive and soon she may find someone else with whom you will be happy.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Hi braveheart!
I think what you told your friend were already some good ways on how to move on from a failed relationship. For me, the best way was making myself busy, going out with friends and having fun. It worked for me. Friends are the best way to cheer yourself up. 
Deleting anything that can make her remember his ex is probably a good way, too but if he was her long-time boyfriend, then even if she doesn't see his face, she would still remember in any way, like going to a place they usually go, doing something they usually do, or any habits or intangible things that can make her remember. The best thing to do is to remember these things as happy memories and try to avoid feeling disappointed and hurt.
But I guess the best healer is still time.
Deleting anything that can make her remember his ex is probably a good way, too but if he was her long-time boyfriend, then even if she doesn't see his face, she would still remember in any way, like going to a place they usually go, doing something they usually do, or any habits or intangible things that can make her remember. The best thing to do is to remember these things as happy memories and try to avoid feeling disappointed and hurt.
But I guess the best healer is still time. 
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
29 Aug 11
braveheart07,
In the first place, I hope that the both of you will remember that our memories aren't like our storage device like our computer hard disk which can erase everything with a simple reformat.
To be honest, what you've said are exact and correct, the only thing you've both forgotten is that it will take time. So, other than doing the needful she will need to take her time and be patient with herself. However, I need to remind the both of you that there will be a need of acceptance on her part that everything is over between her ex, in order for her to take the initiation to evolve and step out of her old shell.
Take time to do her work, enjoy the current freedom and pace her life. Like breathing, we can always smell the flowers at the same time. So, start fill up her life with all the things she like, enjoy and never get to do while she was with her ex.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
29 Aug 11
definitely a difficult situation Ham Ham wants it wants it.
first and tell them to think I wanted to lade seriously this guy or just want to erase all of my life.
if he wants to forget not to think about it and remove all belongings and to remind him.
if you want to be with him just to talk and understand.
nice day!
@tong_jd (29)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
I always believe that no one completely moves on from a failed relationship unless he finds another one. Ergo, for your friend to be able to forget his long-time boyfriend and finally move on, she has to be in another relationship. Though it is not really foolproof, I believe it can really help.
