Am I right in my decision?

hi professor, the reason why your son asked for your advice is because he values your opinion and he is not at all sold out to going farther than where he is now, or he would have just told you of his decision. we understand now that u.a.e. is making a transition of having their nationals work, instead of foreigners. i for one, knows that there are so many people from my country who have been working for more than 15-20 years were no longer allowed to go back due to this new policy. yes, they "kicked" them as you can be fond of saying. many malaysians, indonesians and even professional indian nationals had to go home due to this. so i find your decision not to let him leave his job a correct decision. what is money compared to being away from his family and kids? they are not starving in hyderabad and he is getting a good income and he can be very well near right next to his family. ann

Ten times more than his present salary is a lot and I should think your son should give it a try. Of course government job is more secure but it takes a long time to earn what the private sectors are offering. If your son is well qualified he should not fear of being kicked out as he can secure job anywhere in the world. My son who is a geo-phycist in an international oil company never consulted us when he switch country to work. I trust his judgment and would not interfere in his career. He decided to move to Thailand to work a year ago for the same company and he is being rewarded handsomely with accommodation and car being provided for. We are happy to know that he is happy with his new environment and has invited me to visit his new 'home' in Thailand.

Somehow here my opinion differs from you. Some decisions we should always leave on children. Presently he might listen to you but in future if he regrets his decisions then he might blame everyone around him who forced him to take this decision. Anyway at times we all are selfish but the happiness of children is one thing which gives happiness and peace to parents.

It sounds right to me. I think it is wise to keep the secure job even though it pays less. To take a better paying job and be lured away by a big salary that may disappear at any time is not wisdom. Take the path that is sure... you are right my friend!

I think you are right too and no, I don't think you're being selfish..you're being a supportive parent. It's not as though you said "No" without consulting others within the family first. You sound like a very wise father to me and I reckon your son will realise this very soon, if he doesn't do so already.

Sir ji you yourself saying your son is already well settled and have a good 'Indian govt job'.I dont know about other countries but in india having a class-1 or class-2 job in govt of india means a lot.You dont have to confuse you or your son whoever has taken the decision is right. Being practical if you compare the salary,indeed thats many times than indian govt job but he is very much safe and secure here financially and socially as well. He should have gone if the govt is sending him on official tour or for any research though. You could have regretted if... -He was not well settled and and with a good govt job. -He was working for private sector in India. -If the offer was helpful to improve his experience in the field he is working officially.(if it was a kind of training program to learn and gain experience) -If the job offer was from much safer countries like Europion,USA or Japan.. So dont think like your son missed an opportunity and please dont blame yourself for being selfish..you are his father and you will always think of your son first its parents nature you cant change it. If your son had to go for studies then you even if you needed him wouldn't stop him right?? even if your son deny.,you would have forced him to for studies.So all these logics and facts to make you understand that what ever you people decide is good.Nothing to feel like regretted.

I can agree with your reasoning. I don't think I would want to go to that area even if I could make a very high salary. I have heard too many things that have happened there to put myself at that much risk. While you might be able to make a lot of money, but if you are injured or killed, then that money won't help at all. I think you did make the right choice. Besides, like you say, if he stays in your country, he can help you when you are ill.

Your oldest son wants to do what he wants to do. You have to let him do what he chooses. It might not be right but that is his problem. Maybe he wants to stay close to you and mom! He knows you are both getting older and you both are not the greatest of health. Not all children would do that if given the chance!

which job is you son really want to do ? pls don't considered of salary. in your words, your family have good job, some one is lawer,some one work for government (in a research laboratory), it seems no problem for your family to pay the bill of dailylife. a suitable job is very hard to find for some person, maybe you son is very smart,didn't meet those situation, for me, i think a suitable job is very importment.as several jobs of mine are not good. i know well that our of the parents all hope their children would be stay with them very close, so do my parents. so you are not selfish man.it's all right. as above, my opinion is whatever your son decide, just give your hand (support him), that's ok, Tks!

On the one hand, I can see where you are coming from with the recommendation that you made to your son because of the fact that our families are one of the most important sets of relationships that we will ever have in our lives. However, if it was I that was in that situation, I believe that I would take the job in the UAE simply because of the fact that it will lead to a better future for myself and my children. My mother has always encouraged my siblings and myself to make the decisions that will be the best for ourselves and our children.

Dear Papa. I thought it was freeze hiring in UAE. There was a directive that UAE will only employ their own citizens. In fact, many of the Filipino OFWs are also affected by this. Papa, i had planned to move to Australia because there is a vacancy in the position that i am holding right now in the Philippines. When i told my mom about my interest, my father was the one who turned it down because he felt that Filipinos are meant for their mother country. He cited stories about his sisters who moved to Australia. His sisters are all intelligent women but still have not been that successful in Australia, much even worse, their marriages were torn apart. Then i thought, why would my father liken me to my aunts when i am obviously a different person with much more different qualities? I still find it baseless. Out of respect, i didnt argue with my father. Last week, i visited our branch in Singapore and there is again another vacancy matching me. I am sure my father would again turn it down and might even say that hah! you will lose your faith in God when you move there. All i can say is that, it is still baseless. As for UAE, my gut feeling tells me that you are right. UAE may offer a higher compensation but the standard of living there is just as high. Is he moving to a multinational company or simply private company? If it is a multinational company, then i think he is in much safer hands.

Hi professor, i would say that there are private companies that are stable and if they can afford to pay your son that big, i think they belong to the stable category. If he would be earning that much, there would be no problem going home to India once in a while. Besides, i think he is still young and opportunities like that should not be ignored.

hi Baba, No parents wants their child to be in a far away land I understand your feelings but sometimes opportunity only knocks once But if you think that he has a good job there then you will not regret about the decision you've made. miss yah

Hello Professor. I understand your feelings,I know is difficult away of our family, but sometimes if it is for better we have to encourage them to go on. Like you said, he has a family so it means that he has a lot of spend, so I think the only one who have to take the decision is him, because how good or bad are his finances only him knows, you can tell him your opinion but it doesn't means that he have to obey that. He is a grown man with his own responsibilities, goals and dreams, so I know he can take the best decision, a decision that is going to be good for you him and his family, sometimes we have sacrifices our self for a period of time to live the kind of life we desire. I hope I have helped with my opinion and that your son take the best decision, which only him knows which one is. Have a great day Mr. Bhuwan.

Hi Professor, I really don't know. I'm in the US and it sounds much like the same sort of decision one here makes when going into the service during war time. The pay and benefits are great but they are risking their life and leaving family. Right now my daughter who will be graduating highschool this year is considering joining the army or navy. I don't like it and I don't want her to go. Still, I don't want to be the one to hold her back from something she really wants to do. I feel my thoughts regarding this are biased because I tend to be anti-government and anti-war. I want her to make her own decision. It's how I raised her. She has lived with me for almost 18 yrs. She knows full well my thoughts on the matter. I won't repeat them to her now. What I told her was that I respect her choices and will support her in whatever decision that she makes. I want her to think for herself. If she isn't strong enough to stand up to little me then she isn't strong enough to fight her country.

I think sometimes a person just has to go with their gut instincts. If they foresee or feel something negative then I would say no go. But, if on the other hand, he feels a calling for this work and feels positive about it then by all means he needs to go and do what he can.

Hello Papa! I am sure you weighed the options and found the right decision. Though the earnings did sound very lucrative we do have to consider long term and future as well. If indeed he does at some point loose the job and the future is grim the money will not last forever. This I learned first hand. I did very well in my career and opted with a private company, which granted I did work there for 15 years. Sadly the company does not exist anymore and I am still in my working years. Unfortunately there is no one to give reference and I am out of job now for 17 months for which I cannot re-enter my career because no one is around to vouch for me as diligent of an employee that I was. So yes I believe you made the right decision because what one is enjoying today, may not last forever. Hard decision but a fact of life. Have a great night Papa!

There is a lot of risk in any company or government. It's a good opptunity for your son. Someone find could offer him a job beacuse he is good. Maybe there is some risk, there always is a lot risk when you grow up. When you are a baby if you're affraid of wrestling, you'll never learn how to walk.

This is really a hard question. Does your son get married? If he gets married, he should probably better not go. If he doesn't, no matter waht choice he makes will be ok.

I will grab the opportunity if I were your son. I won't think twice about that. If he's in the U.A.E, he can at least contact you everyday for any updates. Sometimes sacrifices needs to be grab for the sake of many. Although it's not permanent, a salary 10x from his regular employment on your country will help you financially. He can invest at least for his first month or years depending on his salary. And maybe he's still young and experiences abroad are sometimes prioritized by other companies. So he will not somehow find it hard to look for a job back there on your country.