How To Stop The Trauma After A Break Up
By RDotson
@RDotson (51)
United States
September 1, 2011 9:52am CST
I recently ended a four year relationship due to it being a toxic relationship. I have been doing well with the break up for the past few weeks, which I am so thankful for since it had cause me so much pain when trying to make the decision. This morning while out dropping off my children for school I thought about the fact that this weekend I am going to take my daughter to a near by city to spend the weekend with friends. When I thought about going to this city a rush of memories came over me due to this being where my ex used to live. I felt all the pain and sorrow that I went through while being in the relationship with him. My heart began to ache again and I felt very anxious thinking that I had to go there this weekend. How do I deal with the memories of this place without feeling like my heart breaks all over again? I no longer want to be in the relationship, but I do not want any flashbacks that cause me the horrible feeling of trauma I felt this morning.
6 responses
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
2 Sep 11
Hi friend, its good that you have shared your depressed story on mylot, a few weeks ago i too had borken up with my GF due to some personal reasons, and it was like we had no other chance but had to face the situation, anyways lets talk about your problem. Well the main problem is about your thoughts you need to forget your EX completely before moving on and for that you have to make a lot of journal acitivites and work on your interest and hobbies which will help you a lot. I can help you a lot and there is lot to say on this topic, When i was in problem i came acorss this book GETTING PAST YOUR BREAKUP. When i started reading this book it just changed my life its for youth and marriage people also, if you wanna know more about it please pm me, i will surely help you.
@RDotson (51)
• United States
3 Sep 11
Hi Princelierocks,
I thank you for your kind words, and I hate to hear that you also went through the same pain that I did due to my breakup. I am doing much better now as I have finally accepted that I could not make the relationship work. I think I went through more pain trying to keep the relationship together than I actually did accepting the fact that it was something I did not need in my life to be happy. I tried for so long to keep the relationship together because he was not not a boyfriend he was supposed to be my husband- but that is something he did not care about. I will send you a friend request in case I need guidance, but as for right now I have done a lot of praying and it has helped me greatly.
@lologirl2021 (5542)
• United States
1 Sep 11
Not sure how old your daughter is of course but taking her with you to the city might ease your thoughts of your EX and it will also give you someone to talk to to ease the pain. She might now know about relationships but at least you will have someone there with you to take the pain away as well and also she can probably help you run your errands and make the time go by faster so you arent in the city as long as you were thinking you were going to be.
Not sure if you can bring your daughter with you but bringing even a friend with you can help as well. Goodluck
@RDotson (51)
• United States
1 Sep 11
Hi lologirl2021,
Thank you for commenting. My daughter is actually a teenager and I am going to drop her off with some of her friends. I think I will do as I posted about but I also think if I am not ready to deal with it I will jump back on I-75 and head back south!
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
I'm sorry to hear that you just recently broke up with someone. If the relationship was toxic then I think it is better this way. In regards with taking your daughter in that city, unfortunately, you have to face your fear. It will be hard especially at the beginning cause no matter how hard you try to ignore the thought, it will keep flashing back into your mind. In time you won't be affected anymore, the progress might be gradual but definitely your trauma will be gone.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
I am sorry to hear about this. I know four years is a lot of time and it would be very difficult to just try to forget everything. I guess you'll have to experience a lot of pain but eventually you'll get over it and get used to it. I think you just have to remain strong and focus on other important things in your life now. I know it will be very hard that is why I wish you all the best.
@HeartROB (434)
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
I guesse there is no other way to overcome your feeling without feeling your heart to break all over again. For me, the best way to overcome your feelings and in order to really move on on to the future without pains and hurts anymore is to face it. Feel the pain and hurts, and learn from it. But remember, not to let the pains and hurts you are feeling to overcome and over rule the reasonable thing that you must do. Just learn from it and use it as a stepping stone to become a more better person and a better mom to your daughter. Stay happy my friend.
@pandoyish30 (8)
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
Its not easy to forget and moved on from a break up.especially with your four year relationship.But if you think, that you are not happy anymore and separation will make both of you to become a better person, so be it..Make yourself busy with your work or study, friends and families.
