Grandma, Take Me Now And I Want To Be With You Now! :(

with my step son, although he would change but it will take him some times. and when he is mad at someone, he will ignore everyone. one thing i could not take easily. but thanks to my wife, she dramatically changed the way treating him and with my anger.

i am amazed and glad that she do.

That is great that your wife knew what to do to hope the two of you with your anger.

hi shibham. what do you mean, its a symbol of immaturity and nothing work? he's autistic and actually needs special attention?

that's ok friend.

Oh sorry. I thought something different. sorry.

It would seem like form your description that your son has some form of autism. It is not good that you can not get proper diagnosis and help due to lack of money, this should be available to por people for free. Autism can not be cured, but he can be helped to deal with things. It is must be very difficult for you dealing with him.

we have accepted the fact that our son has autism as per explanation of the teacher in the special education that handled him for almost ten years. my wife who is the biological mother really had a hard time accepting that fact but then, she had accepted it after some years though. she (teacher) also recommended to have him diagnosed or get some support from a group but it's really hard for me due to lack of money and it is really out of our budget.

Zay had his tonsils removed. when he was still a baby, we just thought about his snores as normal thing when he sleep. until i learned a lot about sleep apnea here on mylot and other sites, i suspected he could really have that condition. finally, the doctor found out that his tonsils are not just tonsillitis but they are really big and gets bigger as he grows. but i don't think tonsillectomy is applicable with your condition, there might be some reasons and i hope it will get treated soon. about our son with autism, we actually have no idea which type of autism he has. we have not sent him to a specialist due to money problem. only the teacher (special education) who handled him for almost 8 years told us that he is. he went to the special class for 4 years before the teacher let him attend regular education up to 4th grade. he lost interest to school. he went to school, i even personally sent him to school everyday. and all we know after such time, he always sneak out of the premises. since then we stop sending him to school and let him stay at home. we cannot tell if he still can read because he doesn't want to read the words if we tell him to read this and that. but we know he still knows how to tell the numbers, but could not count. he is sociable but he cannot tell if the people he is talking to will teach him bad or good or will do him harm. one reason why we do not let him out of the house but most of the time, he will just sneak out when everyone could not notice. he will return home when he wants, because even when we always tell him not to stay late at night, he doesn't know how to tell the time.

that was really sad and at the same time disturbing. i really cannot imagine how those words came out from his mouth. i never expected he has thoughts like that. we are really scared about him leaving the house and time will come we really could not find him. or something worst than disappearance. well, hopefully that will not happen. good to hear, you don't have a child who needs special attention. and it's really not that easy to have one in the family. how much more with a family with more, like one that we know here. actually, they are not someone who is just someone, but biologically, joel's aunts. no wonder. but i would like to reiterate, joel has normal physical apprearance. he's not a special child with down syndrome or extraordinary facial formation. (i hope i have explained it very well and my apologies to the parents with this kind of syndrome) joel calmed down after my wife talked to him that moment. i guess he listened to some kinda "baby talk" strategy she used and got to sleep after a few minutes. but it is sad that until this time, he won't listen to me and keeps ignoring me everytime i try to talk to him.

He has someone to look after him all the time, right? If he's being taken care of well, he won't get lost. If you're the only one he's ignoring, then maybe he's mad at you or maybe scared or something? Did you get mad at him?

we let him vent it out at times and yes, we keep it inside. and we really do look on it as a bad thing. but this last time, we are just getting a little scared of the words that came out from his mouth. with the physical exercise to work off his emotions, we try to keep him from getting out by giving some house chores like to fetch water from the well and filling the containers, to arrange the recyclable items to sell them in the junkshop, lighting the charcoal fueled stove, helping her mom do the laundry, and so on, which mostly he loves doing so much when he is not in tantrum mode.

that's true and if i do not love my wife's children, they could not have been here until this moment, when the truth is, we start living together, my wife and i, all because of our love with out step children. that's only one of the many reasons why i keep working too.

This did give you a wake up call to some of his feelings. I know there are many different ways that autisam affects people, but at least now that this is out in the open you can face it and work on the fact he feels unloved and unneeded. You have my prayers and blessings, I respect deeply the fact that you have kept him in the family home and are dealing with this condition. Many is the same position have sent their children away because they could not handle it.

i understand how it feels to have a child who needs special attention like our joel. problem with this house is, the other members are not so cooperative with us, the parents. just like step daughter and my other kids. anyway, we actually thought of taking him to a specialist. but as you know, we don't have much money for medical fees. we try our best though to understand his needs, and his mind. but it's really not that easy to handle him most of the times. and with support groups, i also tried searching for them within this area. but all just lead us to expensive training or learning something facilities, which we cannot afford. and to think, zay still has something that also needs an specialist, with regards to adhd. now i wished when the next rain comes, it's money that pours from above and not waters.

What a coincidence I just watched a movie in HBO just moments ago. The title of the movie is Temple Grandin. She's an autistic who was able to achieve things because of her gift and that's for being autistic. You watch the movie and I hope you encourage a lot of people to watch the movie as well. I'm not going to divulge so much of the movie but it will enlighten a lot of people on why and how a lot of autistic tick.

isn't it hard to handle it with yourself?

well, we were really shocked at first hearing those words from him, and all with crying out loud. imagine, it was already 10 in the evening and people in the neighborhood were all asleep by that time. later on, i guess my wife had figured out what she should do. so he got near the room from where he was crying. like a child, she talked to him in a very low tone of her voice. i can't explain it clearly here, you know the english language. (so inamo nya ito na parang batang musmo, yung parang baby lang) something like she talked with a baby who was stolen with his candies. "calm down joel, do you want to go to your father?" "i'll tell daddy neil to call your father so he can pick you up." "calm down joel, sleep now and tomorrow i will let daddy send you to your grandpa's place." things like that. actually, joel is someone that you cannot tell has a problem. with his physical appearance, you cannot say he's special. when he stops going to school, me and my wife helped each other training him. we keep him busy with house chores so we won't sneak out. but even how much we try to let him understand some things, like it's not safe to be out when it's too late at night, besides, he doesn't know how to tell the time. so when he's out, he will be back home, i guess when he feels tired. we do everything to keep him always within our sight. we gave him music player. we let him play psp (imitation only ) as long as he wants. things like that, just to keep him grounded. but this is really something he cannot learn. when he wants something he saw from other people, he will do everything just to get it or get one for him. he saves money too. but we cannot always tell that those money gets, he got legally. you know what i mean? if he did that, he doesn't know it is not good, even how much we try for him to understand that this thing is good and that is not.

thanks for informing and for the link. hopefully it will help.

you cannot tell our son that he is special. by the looks, you will tell he's a good looking young man. and we even heard that there are few girls in the neighborhood who have a crush on him. and we also know, he has some crushes but he doesn't know how to tell it to the girl, he doesn't know how to court a girl. actually, he is not that difficult to mingle with him. he talks normally, though he talks fast sometimes that you cannot understand what he is saying. it's just that there are some point that his mind could not reach so he cannot understand. like some things about good and bad.

hi bhaby. yes it's true, parents who have children who needs special attention needs to be patient enough but tantrums are bearable most of the times. it's probable much lighter to handle tantrums as with joel but not with children and not so young kids who has ADHD like you.

Me?with ADHD

how old is your nephew?

well, our son spent 6 years in the special education class before he was released by the teacher who handled him to attend regular schooling. he went to the regular class up to 4th grade with his classmates, a lot younger than him. we just could not understand why and how he lost interest. so now, he is not able to read but knows some numbers. he already forgotten what he had learned from school for 10 years. he does not even know how to tell the time. i always tell him, when he gets out of the house to not stay too late outside. but he won't back home in time, he will, maybe if he just feel tired.

My nephew is already 8 yrs old. I am so sad to hear your story but still try to convince him to study again or do something that might interest him. Ask him or better communicate to him often, maybe he's just into something right now.

you watch or ignore? until it is over?