Do you think teenage girls are wearing too much makeup?

I think that the connection is in reverse. I don't think that goths are more likely to self harm. if you are a goth, you won't be drawn into doing it. but I do think that people who are more likely to self harm are more likely to become goths, if that makes sense. it attracts sensitive people. on the whole, as a community it is very supportive, and can help people get through their hard times, which is why it can draw in people who NEED that support. I don't think that a child who falls into a goth culture will start cutting themselves because of being a goth. more like, if they cut they are more likely to find the support in goth culture emotionally helpful to them. a handful of people do it for show, but they are very stupid people, and don't really understand what they are doing or why. another issue is that it DOES happen among all kinds of sub-groups. but maybe the goth and emo sorts, who are in a culture where expressing yourself is encouraged, they don't feel a need to hide this sign of their feelings. so you're more likely to SEE it in goth and emo groups than, for example in a group of Chavs, where they are more likely to hide their emotions, rather than share with their friends. I would strongly disagree that it's an unhealthy culture. I have had some very very good friends through the Goth scene. and as it seems that your church is important to you, you may be interested to know that maybe the gothiest goth I ever knew was a vicars son, and a very good Christian. lovely young man. he fully respected me as a Pagan, and other friends from many different religions. he was a well balanced, clever, articulate young man, who I was very fond of.

That does make perfect sense, and perhaps I am clumping different kinds of people into the same culture. I said what I did because when the 11 year old girl who used to be my daughter's best friend, was asked why she was cutting, she said it was part of being an emo. I'm sure there are very dignified goths out there that dont do those things. But here in my home town, the emo culture in middle school means that you have to have long bangs that always cover your eyes, dress like a ratty doll, and then you have to cut yourself to show how serious about being an emo you really are. For the record, Goth and emo ARE two different things. She also said that emos were hated by everyone ESPECIALLY the goths. This was why the emo people were so intense she said. But again, this is an 11 year old's take on a culture that I personally know nothing about. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. My church is very important to me, mostly because my faith was stifled by my ex husband for so long. (I wasn't allowed to utter the name of God or Jesus in his house and he often runs around in a shirt that says "who needs God when you have Satan" on the back.) I honestly wouldn't want to stifle anyone's faith, be it Christian, Pagan or otherwise. As for the goth and emo cultures, I really really do like the look, and if it were acceptable for me to run around in bondage pants decorated with shiny pink ribbons I totally would! Unfortunately I don't feel that I would be accepted if I did. Aside from that, I try to keep a positive outlook on everything for my mental health, so most of what I see in those cultures wouldn't work for me at all. But that's just me.

Good idea. Maybe it would help to have a professional's opinion. of course she argues with me.. I'm mom! I like the way the goths look, but the emos are into the whole cutting thing as part of their culture. I've also studied up a bit on the way negative self talk distorts your thinking and eventually your reality. unfortunately the goth/emo culture also makes this kind of thing look cute and trendy. I have nothing against the people themselves, I just don't want my daughter mixed up in that unhealthy culture.

Just keep talking to he and let her know what is acceptable even when she rolls hers eyes and she will and she will tell you she knows all about it. but deep down she is listening but doesn't want you to know it because that wouldn't be cool. When my kids were teenagers I stopped worrying about the,m and worried about my own sanity. Even With all the problems of having teenagers they can be fun too. Just keep remember this too shall pass.

very true. I remember pulling little shenannigans like that when I was a teen, or even worse! I'm not looking forward to the teenage years with my daughter, but I have faith that God will keep her pointed in the right direction. I'm praying ;)

Sounds like my situation. She cut too for awhile. Church helped.

Well I'm glad you got through to her! And you only had that conversation once?? Lucky you! I used to do the tail thing with my eyeliner too, and yeah... it did make me look like a Cleopatra witch. lol!

I have definitely found that school dress codes, and religion helps ALOT! My daughter doesn't go to Catholic school but her school does have a dress code. unfortunately, makeup is not part of that dress code. Maybe I should suggest it to the PTA. Church and youth group have changes my daughter's attitude at an incredible rate. I finally found a really good that that teaches how much God loves us, and teaches us how to live properly without making us feel condemned. It's so nice to have that kind of help with raising my child. And she is sooo much happier.

I'm very glad that you are able to step up and say that! You could probably be a very good role model for other kids. Thanks for your response!

I know what you mean. I told my daughter no at first too, and she stole all of my eyeliner and took it to school. I got one stick of it back (out of 6 different colors) and it was broken. She was grounded for a really long time for that.

The sad thing is, when she wears just a little, she's gorgeous! I really hope she does phase out of it. It attracts the wrong type of boys, and it probably won't be long until she has a boyfriend. If she can't take my advice about the makeup, how will she take my advice about a boy?

once again...tv really does influence us. Back then it was probably Gidget that inspired you, now it is Riahnna and Lady Gagga. yes... why would a teenage girl wear a thong??? And why is it so darn difficult to purchase a one-piece bathing suit for my thirteen year old girl?? It just makes me sick!

I think you're right. Teenagers do all kinds of silly things to get attention and try to be cool. I'm thinking that church will help her ease out of that need. She gets a lot of attention of the other teenagers there. I need to find that scripture that says not to wear dark makeup around the eyes.. does anybody know which one I'm talking about?

Yup. my thoughts exactly. Thanks to the Disney channel dressing teenage girls up until the look like they are in their late twenties, our teenage girls have a distorted sense of what beauty really is. If they only knew how beautiful they look in their natural state. They want to grow up too fast, and they don't take the time to be the naturally beautiful girls they really are. It's so sad.

Good for you! I hope she listens to you better than mine does. I agree about the skin too. less makeup means less pimples and wrinkles!

I agree, and she already knows how to wear it right. She just feels that she looks better when it is really dark. I even showed her a video of a teenager making fun of the way other teens wear such dark makeup, and she STILL prefers it that dark. I've taken it away once, then someone gave her more. If it continues I will just have to keep taking it away