What you gonna do if you found out that your spouse still have textmate?

I think that I know my hubby enough to know if he is lying to me. I believe on him and if he tells me that is a friend I would believe him.

Hi sweetie. I don't think i will take that very well if i have to find out my boyfriend have a textmate. He can have friends, i honestly don't mind, but i won't tolerate it if he did that behind my back. At least i want to know where i stand in all that damn texting. Sometimes phones can really get on one's nerves though.

Wow you are very insecure. Don't you trust your husband? Why shouldn't he have friends? Unless he demonstrates that he is having an affair I think that you should welcome the fact that he has other friends and stop worrying. After all you have just written this post and I bet that you haven't told him about it.

Why you have all these fuss about his textmate, may be she is just a best friend like he said, unless you catch him in bed texting together, then may be you should begin to get angry and raise suspeciou about his texting activity. Relax, lady, it is just a text-mate, not a lover, i am sure there is more in life that you need to worry daily than a textmate of your hubby.

Situation like this is complicated in a relationship. Since you married things like this must be avoided. If I was in your shoe,I will do what he is doing. And when he caught me I will use his like " were just friends, bestfriend!"

talk about it and protect your life and love, bring it up , and try to get to the buttom line of it , something is wrong becasue it is a secret !! but if it was all clear from the very begining of the relationship , then it would have ben ok and fine !! right ?

maybe you need to know more about this friendship.. he should tell you who his friends are, including this woman that is his bestfriend. im sure your husband wouldn't like you to have a textmate turned bestfriend as well that he did not know. if there is no malice, how come you do not know about this before you discovered it. im still not convinced there is nothing going on, and i think your husband should distance himself in these kinds of relationships that might lead to your misunderstand... it is important that you have the respect for each other.. and him hiding things from you is not a good sign of him giving you the respect that you ought to receive.

First of all I would believe him unless I had some more proof. There is nothing wrong for a couple to have seperate friends or best friends. Now if he was doing more then texting, making a habit of not coming home at all, then that in my mind would be a cause for concern. However, it seems to me your hubby just has a friend unless he's doing something else highly questionable. As far as my personal life goes. Sure I know my hubby has friends. But, I know what's going on. I control the phone bill, I know what calls are made, and when he receives a text message, I'm the one reading it to him. Hell, he can barely remember how to use voice mail. Why should I be concerned? Hell he gets annoyed easily when the phone company sends "free" texts. So texting is not something I have to be concerned about. I'm the one in the relationship who knows anything about text messaging. I have more texts then he does.

I would not be happy in finding out that my boyfriend of almost 8 years has a text mate. Since we share our lives as a committed couple, I would think he would have told me right away. We share our friends so not sure why this is something I had to find out as opposed to him telling me. We communicate quite a bit and would have hoped I was told. So no I would not be happy in finding out for myself and he would have to explain why I was not told. It has to be a good reason because this is not something I personally would do with a friend of mine without his knowledge.

Well, if I were in your shoes, I would believe him. Trust him. If you have doubts why not use your husband's cellphone and try to exchange messages with his best friend. If they really are best friends and your husband finds out, he will be insulted because you didn't trust him. But if it's the other way around, then you will be hurt. At least you will know. Think about it.

Oh gosh, i am not yet married but i don't want my boyfriend to have textmates! When we started our serious relationship [/b]i deleted all the female contacts [b] in his cellphone! I personally don't have text mate too!Why he has top have text mate?That might lead into something stupid, or it maybe break us apart! so NO NO for such useless things. i this happens i would think there is something behind and will FREAK OUT!hahaha

Hello there. I have a good friend who happens to have the same situation as yours. I suggest that you talk to your husband heart to heart. One thing will lead to another no matter what your husband will tell you. Boy and girl relationship is not same as girl friends. If she is really your husbands bestfriend, then he shouldn't keep it a secret from yours. Changing cellphone number is not a solution because he will still text her. Something fishy is cooking! Trust me, I met so many situations like yours. Subconciously, they know that this will bring to the next level. I hope things will be okay. I am here to listen. Just send me a private message if you need someone to talk.

If that happens to me I won't believe him. Don't believe him. Bestfriend...seriously? Why does he need gal bestfriend when he already got you? One of the role of bestfriends in our lives is to have someone to share secrets with. What are the things that he shared to that girl that he didn't tell you? I cannot imagine.

Look...im not married but i think that he would have lied if something was wrong between them.he could have said anyother stories rather than she is his bestfriend...so,somehow he might be true but it is your role to make sure of that and feel what is going on using your instinct and 1 more advice..what is the need for a textmate or a best friend while you are there?..try to be his best friend indeed and his text mate also and fill his all time and he wont have or need anyother woman to text or make friendship with ;)

See I'm a little different. I have more male friends than female ones. So I told my guy point blank , there are guys that are just friends , he is the guy I am romantically linked with. and he is fine with it. I think once your love Has to hide a friend it isn't good. So I can't say what I would do , because I want to give my guy the freedom to befriend anyone he chooses just as he gave me. I'm sorry I didn't answer your question.

Oh dear, if I were you, I would talk to your hubby. I would like to know if I also have a textmate, he would like it or not. If he didn't like it, then he shouldn't have the textmate either. He should put his feet into your shoes to see how you feel and if you like it or not. This is the respect in a relationship.

A few years ago, when I was younger and a little less experienced at life, I would have probably been really mad about a situation like this. However, now that I have matured a little more than I was back then, I have come to realize that it is not uncommon for people to have close friends other than the ones they are in a relationship with, and that pushing the issue will likely only cause more problems or end up ruining your relationship with this person altogether. They were likely friends with this person before they ever even met you, and in most cases, it would be wrong of you to ask them to end this friendship now. The issue of whether or not you think something wrong is going on is something you are going to have to come to terms with in your own way, because there is no generic answer that would apply in each and every situation. Each of these situations is unique in its own way with its own set of circumstances. If you really feel uncomfortable about this, you should talk to him about it and let him know that you have concerns. Just be sure to give him the opportunity to justify the situation, and be willing to trust that he is telling you the truth until he gives you a reason not to trust him…

Wife have an instinct to feel it. If you think something wrong, don't judge instantly, befriend and try to communicate him and open everything so that relationship runs smoothly.

Hi Jenith, I would not automatically come to the conclusion that your husband is doing something wrong or shameful. You should be his best friend, since you are his wife... but other than that.. there is nothing wrong with a husband having a female best friend. You don't give up your friends just because you are married. I wouldn't expect my husband (if I had one) to throw away a female friend just because he marries me. I wouldn't appreciate being told by my husband to give up a guy friend just because I am now married.. it's not right to do that. Friends last a lifetime.. they will be there with you through thick and thin, even when your own spouse isn't there for you. Your spouse should always be there for you also.. but sometimes they aren't. I'd never throw a friend away because I am married... however, I would also try to get my spouse to be friends with my friend.