Should I really call this love?

this where you no where! and that man you cannot rely on, take counseling both of you may it can be corrected

Cld it be that he has a family? I am basing it on my gut feeling as well as thinking aloud here. How much do you know abt him? Do you think he loves you as much as you love him? Does he give you his reasons whenever he backs out? Does he tell you what his other plans are? I think women tend to give more than men (incl. loving more deeply than men). And honestly, I don't think it's wise to do that. Women generally tend to be at the losing end whenever they love their bfs or husbands too much. I don't mean to offend you but it seems to me that you love your bf much more than he loves you. A friend shared with me that her granny ever told her not to love her bf or husband more than he loved her. Her granny's reasoning was that she cld be sure that her bf or husband wld always treasure her. I see some truth in this. In any healthy relationship, there is always an element of 'give and take'. However, it seems to me that you are always the one who is giving and your bf is always the one who is on the receiving end. You might want to let your bf know that if he truly treasures you and his relationship with you, he shld work on his relationship with you. He shld be willing to go out with you and not give any excuses. How can it be possible that he ALWAYS has some other plans whenever you want to go out with him? I might hv sounded harsh but I don't mean to offend you at all. Being a woman myself, I wldn't want to see you getting hurt.

I dont think you could really call that love. I mean if he is unwilling to do things with you or as a family, then what is there to the relationship. My boyfriend is constantly asking to do things with me even if it is just sitting at home playing video games or something. You need to have that quality time doing things together and working as a team being at each other's side at all times.

I think that by now you already know how to handle this thing. I suggest that you come to a decision where you put yourself first over this relationship. This guy has to realize that you need attention, too. I am not sure what's up with him, but maybe he is undergoing something that bothers him and is in a denial phase, still I say you try to find out more. There could probably be a way to make him sense that you are at a point where he either has to notice you or you just stop being with him, I just hope it doesn't get too bad. I just hope everything will work out for the both of you.

Well first ask yourself can you see yourself with this man another 4years going through the samething, I mean really obviously this man is to comfortable not to care about your feelings and what you want because if he did he would care to spend time with his family. Because family comes first. No one wants to feel that they are alone in a relationship because if that is the case then ask him what does he expect out of this, because you don't want to waist another 4years doing the samething if you are not happy. Your happiness matters to. Ask him if he is a family man I mean how was he acting at first has he always been like this because if so that means that he is comfortable, you can't say that he won't change because most people do, but maybe he is comfortable in how things are, and don't pay it no mind. But you need to know because if all he wants to do is be comfortable than soemthing has to give. Because its only a matter of time until you get to sick and leave him for good so you have to decide what you want to do. Because the choice is yours, its your life and only you can control what comes and what goes, well in the human form anyway things that are in your control. and if thats how he really is than, are you willing to put up with him?

dont worry about small things and dont make it fade with silly thoughts. prepare yourself to take some time to make yourself free to spend time with eachother. love is always love, unless we realize it.

Four years is a really long time to invest in someone that you aren't sure of. Did this behavior just start?? I'd sit down with him and in a calm manner discuss your feelings and see how he reacts. Best wishes

Hello tyleika, Try talking to him and ask why does he pull away when you want to spend time with him.