to work or not to work
By Sillychick
@Sillychick (3275)
United States
September 10, 2011 4:45pm CST
I have been struggling with this for a long time. I stayed home with my son for 3 years, then went back to work. Now he is 5 and in kindergarten, and I see how difficult it is for him. He goes to daycare before and after school, and is exhausted by the time we get home. We leave the house at 7am and don't get home until 5, and that is when we don't have other things to do, like soccer or music class. He really enjoys those activities so it's important to me to keep him in them. So I was thinking if I quit my job or go part time, I could eliminate the before and after school daycare, and it would make him less tired, and more able to focus on school and his music. Trouble is, that would put a financial strain on our family. But I kind of think that the benefits outweigh the financial sacrifices we will have to make.
Have you ever been faced with making this decision? What did you do, and how did you come to that decision? I am really torn...
1 person likes this
4 responses
@GemmaR (8517)
•
11 Sep 11
I am in the position at the moment of having to think about what I'm going to do when I have my first child, as we will obviously need money to be able to raise the child in the way in which we would like to. The great thing is that I am beginning to realise that I don't really need to get a job in the sense that other people do, because of the work that I do online I will be able to carry on without taking too much of a break because it isn't stressful work and it doesn't take all that much time out of my day either. You, too, could try to earn some money online meaning that you can ease your financial situation without having to pay for child care for your son and you wouldn't have to miss out on any part of him growing up, either.
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
11 Sep 11
that's true. I could do things like get back into writing like I used to for a little extra money. I was even considering a part time job while he is in school to take some of the financial burden off of my husband.
@lizzief79 (2)
•
11 Sep 11
There is only really you that can decide what is best for you and your family. However, I am currently in a similar situation. I was a single parent of two children and working was a necessity. Like you. we left the house at 7.30am and returned at 6pm. I now have a partner and recently gave birth to my third child and am on maternity leave. My oldest daughter has developed several health problems and this is going to require me taking a lot of time off work. Also, the financial cost of childcare in the UK is astronomical. Going back to work will cost me £700 a month in childcare and £100 in petrol. The combination of needing to spend time with my children and the financial cost of returning to work means that I am seriously considering working from home. I am writing on lots of sites and selling things on eBay. If you do decide to stay at home you will probably need something for yourself to give you time away from the home. That is the part that I find difficult at the moment. Hope you find this helpful.
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
11 Sep 11
You shouldn't have to decide between your children and work. I think it is sad that one income can't provide for a whole family anymore.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom. My relationship with her is very strong and I have so many fond memories with her. I would not have those memories if she went to work everyday. I would have memories of some stranger. My mother taught me so many things. Nothing can replace a mothers love.
I can't decide for you. I know the economic pressures. I will tell you this -- there is so much more to life than wealth. Time goes by quick and soon your son will be grown.
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
11 Sep 11
You're right, I have to make my own decision. But hearing from the perspective of you as a child, and what it meant to you, certainly helps to make my decision easier. I have pretty much already decided to stay home, but am worried that maybe it is the wrong choice because my family will suffer financially. But you are right, there are more important things, and before I know it he will be grown. I don't want to have regrets about not spending enough time with him.
@Chevee (5905)
• United States
10 Sep 11
Hi Sillychick, you are blessed to be able to make a choice. When I was raising my children I didn't have a choice I had to work no matter what. My income was the only one coming in the house. I was denied all those after school priviledges you speak of. However, if you can afford to quit your job it should be your decision. But the first thing to do is to seek God first and He will direct you on the right path. Whatever you decide to do I pray that it will work out for you and your little one. God bless you and your family.
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
11 Sep 11
You're right, I am blessed to have the option. Although it won't be easy, I feel that it would be worth the sacrifices we would have to make. Thank you.
@zerd87 (301)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
It is really hard to decide on that. Well, I guess it really depends on the financial capacity of your family. If the income in your family is appropriate you can stop work for now and focus more on your child. Or maybe you stop job and put some extra income to help like buy and sell things. I guess it is very flexible in your time.
