I just want to say "no" to my ex - girlfriend's family
By kingparker
@kingparker (9673)
United States
September 10, 2011 11:44pm CST
Am I just not know to say "no" to people who always ask for my help. But I feel like that when I asked people for help, they can find millions of excuses to say "no" to me. I am not trying to revenge on them or anything, sometimes, I just in a situation that I really have to say "no". Maybe I am too busy or I have other things on my mind. I broke up with my ex - girlfriend while ago, and probably her family still want us back together, from time to time, her mom calls me, mostly she need help or needs a ride to somewhere. I would do this kindness, since she is elder, and I knew that I should pay some respect. Usually I would say "yes" to her request. Lately, I just too busy, and I have too many things on my mind. Last week, she asked for a ride again, but I just don't know how to say "no" to her. Maybe she will call me tomorrow again, should I simply turn off my cell phone and not pick it up?
2 people like this
10 responses
@DiaJ88 (170)
• Singapore
11 Sep 11
Hi kingparker. It seems that your ex-girlfriend's family took you as a personal taxi driver without the income of cos. Since you have broke up with your ex-girlfriend sometime ago,you should start out with your new life. Most probably the mother wants you to still be with her, but if you think that there is no more possibilities, then you should state it clearly to them.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
11 Sep 11
Well, they never say that I should back together with her daughter, that is my personal feeling about it. They simply call me from time to time and ask me to drive them somewhere, sometimes, I lost my whole afternoon freedom just hanging with them. I felt exhausted sometimes, I just want my own time, since I don't have much private time of my own that much.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
11 Sep 11
Amen and they just want to use him for all they can get.
@dabangladehi (660)
• Bangladesh
11 Sep 11
I think helping is good.But if same person is asked for help,then it is not good.For your matter,I advice you to neglect her and say no.If you can not, just change your cell phone number.It seems that she is using you as a free taxi driver.So,better you change your number and I know how busy is people in now a days.Do not think about this matter any more,just keep cool and do your job.After few days,she will understand that you are neglecting her and hope she will not disturb you any more.
Best wishes and blessing
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
11 Sep 11
I wouldnot do something that makes me feel uncomfortable and if I do not want to do it, then I would say NO, no matter how it makes them feel. You have to take care of your needs first.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
12 Sep 11
kingparker,
First of all, I am for saying "no" when there is a legitimate reason to do so. You just have to see what you have that is keeping you away from doing it. Obligations or relationships aside, don't turn off that phone or divert your call - just say what's on your mind.
I am sure your ex's mother will be able to accept or rather respect you - even when you say no. You need to remember that you have your own life and things to do for your family, love ones and most of all yourself. We need our "me" time - sometimes, we deserve and need it.
I say, pick up the phone and don't be overly concern with your anticipated reactions from the other end. Respect begets respect - especially when you've accorded so much to the people at the other end.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
If you cut ties with your girlfriend doesn't mean you have to cut ties with her family too not unless the break up is that awful for you. You can still give some of the freebies that came with the relationship such as driving her mom or help her somewhere but now you can do it more as a favor and not as an obligation. I think with the break up it's more easier to say no if you don't feel like doing something for them.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
11 Sep 11
I agree but if it becomes a burden, then I would just say NO.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
You can block her number. Usually, phones have this call barring service wherein you can pick which numbers shouldn't be able to call you.
I think your ex's family is taking advantage of you. Though you may already have established a kinship with them, they shouldn't ask you for favors anymore. It's just not the ethical way to go.
Anyway, did it occur to you that her family probably doesn't know that you two have broken up? Maybe you should raise the topic the next (and last) time you take her mom for a ride.
Seriously though, where's the pride of these people?
@tyleika (232)
• United States
11 Sep 11
First off let me say hi. Sorry you put yourself threw this but if you don't learn to say no than you'll always be the yes guy. I see you just trying to be nice cause of age and all but there is always a nice way to say no and the more you keep saying yes the more they call on you. The more you start to say no, the more they will tend to leave you alone and you can start to enjoy time for yourself. Have you look at it as if they might be using you cause they already know that you are a nice guy?
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
11 Sep 11
I would ignore the calls. They will finally get the message, I hope. I hate being used by people also and I have learned to just say NO.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
11 Sep 11
Hi, kingparker. Being that you are not married to your ex-girlfriend or is no longer her current boyfriend, it is not really your duty to run her mom here and there. Why can't her daughter take her mom where she may have to go? I mean this is her mom and she should try to help her mom out from time to time. I know that you don't want to be rude in telling her no, but you will have to firmly say that you can't ALWAYS do her a favor sometimes. Even if a person gives you gas money, a person may not always want to take someone, somewhere all of the time. If you can't do the favor for her because of any reason, you will just have to be honest. If not, then avoiding her phone call may be your next possible solution, sad to say.
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
11 Sep 11
hi:)
hehe maybe your ex girlfriend family miss you, but personally there's nothing wrong in saying "no" if you can't go to them just be honest and say that you're busy, but you'll try to visit sometimes when not much things to do.
