Love marriage

As you may know in my country we do not practice arranged marriages. Most are based on love marriages with the exception of perhaps those that do so out of convenience and or perhaps pregnancy issues. But all are pretty much out of choice and most do obtain their own life partners. I can't compare ours to arranged marriages because I have not directly encountered anyone offline who is in an arranged marriage, but from what I understand being a member here, it is usually successful in India to have the arranged marriages. I have read one member here who although it was an arranged marriage, the marriage is suffering and the husband wants out. I can't remember if this is allowed in her culture but she is very sadden by the situation.

hi ravisivan here in the US we mostly have what you call love marriages. oh some say there is too much divorce but there are still a lot of love marriages that last for long years. So our practices are altogether different from yours. I know a lot of love marriages fail as people will not accept each other the way they are they marry expecting to change the other person to suit their ideas and love does not work that way,so unconditional love is the only real love where you accept each other the way you really are blemishes and good spots both. doing that you accept each other and no hard feelings because she does not lose fifteen pounds and he forgets to put the toilet seat down.To me going into a picked out marriage would have scared me sick as what if the girl really disliked the boy the parents picked out then what happened? do they grow to love each other or what,. I have an Indian couple whom their parents arranged their marriage but they had eyes on each other before their parents chose the man so they were really in love anyway although their parents arranged it. they are really good friends of mine we met in a diabetes seminar and me and Nelda And Shiv and his wife formed a small support group along with Alice and her daughter. we all learned a lot from shiv about alternative herbal remedies and we really enjoyed our meetings. now we are all parted and I feel sad not being able to see my friends any more.so I do not really know enough about arranged marriages to really talk about it as I know several couples who seem really happy and have been married for years and they were arranged marriages.

Now in our country, it is love marriage. Young people fall in love with each other and develop their relationship till the day when it is time for them to get married. Arranged marriage could happen in some rural areas. Mine is love marriage and so will my son's.

Both types of marriage will have their happy endings and their disasters. What people are failing to point out is that there is a MAJOR difference between ARRANGED marriage and FORCED marriage. Arranged marriage the parents look for a potential spouse for their son or daughter. Their son or daughter has specific do(s) and don't(s). Such as no smoking what level of education, religion, age etc. Then both sides either give a yes or no. There IS a freedom of choice in the matter. In these types of marriages the divorce rates are not insanely high. Forced marriage is what those that don't know the difference cringe about when they hear the word "arranged". This is the type of marriage where one or both sides are pushed together into a marriage despite objections and such. The guy might be forced to marry for some reason and the same with the girl. YES guys can be forced as well. The girl can be forced to marry the guy and her "husband" could be totally clueless and the other way around as well. Love marriages can also end in divorce as we all know. Either type can carry on to be happy long marriage in the long run or a miserable one where one or both sides want out. Same applies to love marriage, because people might go into a marriage too early without really knowing the person which becomes clear when both live under the same roof.

in many cases, arranged marriage is not suggested because in the long run you may end up separating. doing marriages with love is the most successful and ideal in our country. of course if you love your husband/wife, you will have a peaceful and happy marriage. and everything will follow.

The biggest hurdle in love marriages in India are our parents, relatives and socitey who never cooperate with those love birds with open mind and by heart. The just impose that they are with us but in reality they always try to break us aprt. So till the change of mentality of our society happen, no real effect will be seen. I wish they accept love birds with pure heart. Cheers

I dont agree with arrange marriage coz here we raise in our choices. Its hard to have a husband that you do not love. Anyway someday soon you will know to love him and then you have the happy ending marriage couple. And to some other areas like muslim countries ans india as well they practice such kind of marriage. And we do nothing with that. They need to follow their old ways and that is their culture. But here where i am living now we are free. Only thing is we do not allow divorce. But even there is no divorce here many and lots of my friends are single mother. I really dont know why they isnt agree in this kind of law. But still good no divorce,,, or bad its depend on the situation we are.

Hi ravisivan: I have read the experiences of some persons that it has worked for them but it may be my culture, but I don't feel comfortable with the idea of someone choosing my partner for the rest of my life. The worst part is that, there might be the possibility that they choose someone I find ugly or that when I meet with my wife I don't like it. So it be really depressive that you are living with someone you don't love and you don't even choose. But as I said I'm giving my opinion that is influenced by my own culture. ALVARO

In India it is not just the couple but two families get married. The parents look for situations that could make life easy for both families interacting with each other but more importance is given to how compatible a couple is. These factors are important as here in India it is a family affair.

This is not being practiced in my country. Couples end up marrying one another out of a love developed through the years. It makes more passionate having this.

I have always found arranged marriages fascinating. If neither of the couple have not already fallen for someone else, I can see advantages. Parents tend to pick a partner from a family with many things in comman and hopefully they take into consideration their child's personality and what they need to compliment their character. I don't know what the statistics are on happiness in arranged marriges but the divorce rates in 'love' marriages are so high maybe some input from parents is a good thing. Parents have a wisdom and maturity their children do not yet have.

In my country, arranged marriages are in lesser percentage. Marriage is a contract of lifetime commitment. How can you commit if you are not devoted to your partner? How can you become devoted if you don't love your partner? maybe others would say that in the process they will develop the "love". Maybe YES for a few but majority will be NO. Common reasons for an arranged marriage is that, fame/popularity, money/wealth, power/authority - based on the stories i've heard :) thus, a couple will live together for the sake of this material/temporary things but not in the name of love.

ya you have said that is very much true that love marriage are not so common in india yet because parents thinks that they chooses guy is perfect so they they believe in arrange marriage and so matrimonial agencies have increased and many fraud have been also increased And as the % of love marriage and arrange marriage is there no matter which marriage it is love whether arrange it matter how much understanding, trust is there in you and your partner because on this basis only marriage works

Wow! That hits me! Did you just said arranged marriages are far more successful than love marriages? I am from the Philippines and what i know is that love marriages are successful. I thought China only has that tradition, so as well as India has that too. Knowing someone longer and better is one important factor in marriages, love takes time to grow so it is proper for both persons to enjoy dating with each other first. Marriage is a union of love so how can you be called married couple if you dont love each other. Arranged marriages doesn't work mostly, people choose to marry the ones whom they truly love. when i will get married soon, ill choose the one person whom I cant live without rather the one who is arranged for me.

I think a person should be able to pick their partner. I'm sure in arranged marriages there are a lot of people who are unhappy and can not get out of the situation. Knowing your mate first seems to be a better option for me. Best Wishes!