Shame on me, I'm negative...

Yes bad Dawn, tisk, tisk, Hum no although there will be times that you can ask him, does he remember that you two are divorced. Being divorce means that he has to get use to you doing things on your own, even if they do not turn out well. Not sure but does he realize that maybe you two will not live together forever?? I guess as long as you two are still living together he does not get the divorced part. I only say this because I can understand him saying, you know Dawn I am always willing to help you no matter what our situations are. But for him to lecture you, nooooo. Surely he lived with you long enough to know that you would always ask for help, if you needed it as regardless of the reasons behind the divorce you always and erm, still have the family's best interest at heart.

Then I would say then quit annoying me because it Only makes me More Negative!

Mine does the same thing. If the sink is loaded with dishes and he's sitting there watching TV or something.. he waits until I get the dishes started before offering to do them.. and say "I was going to get those".. uh huh.. when? Last night he walks in from work and I'm doing dishes. He says "You don't have to do those.. I'll get them". So I did everything except the crock pot. Guess what? Crockpot is still sitting in the sink.

shame on you, you are negative there's an obvious reason why it didn't work out...

Men seem to think we cannot breath without them what to say do things without their help. Kick his bad a$$, Dawny.

Since you have decided to walk out on him, just ignore him as if he doesn't mean a single dime to you. Get over him, get over it!

he's projecting on you, you know that...

Wait, he is saying you are negative because you did something yourself or because you said, "every time I don't ask him to do something for me is annoying, and that, never fear, if I want help I will ask." ??? Neither one makes you negative, but an independent woman who knows her limits and will ask for help when she needs it..Sounds like you are fine, he is just being selfish..

Wow R...way to turn things around. He is the one who is being negative. I guess your bad for not being frail and helpless and always needing a man(him) to rely on.

Ya, bad Dawn. You bet. Men! I can remember when I would ask my ex for help with a project or anything. He would agree and then I had to wait until he felt like doing it. I would usually end up doing it myself because it was driving me crazy waiting for him to come and help me.

at least you only got one person telling you that. if you had several like i used to have before my surgery, you might believe it as i did. but ive turned over a new leaf i think. you must not be negative as only one person thinks so.

I am a fiercely independent person and I detest asking anyone to help me with things and that includes my husband. I do ask him for help only when I absolutely must and have no way of doing the job myself. I heard R’s words from my husband when he came home from work not too long ago and saw me struggle while attempting to put the new cats’ scratching post together. He did take over in the end and had to repair the scratching tree’s ladder that I broke while trying to construct it. It may not be a great habit to feel reluctant to ask for help but I would not say that makes you a negative person who deserves to be lectured for half an hour or more. Bad Dawn no more...

Hiya dawn, Well shame on me then because I have been tweaking his ear today about if we do have a Dog that he will not leave it all up to me to do everything for it like he did the last time. Not that I mind all the time but sometimes yes. So they think that I am being negative just because I remind them that a Dog is not an ornament its something that lives and has all its needs which with their positive idealistic ideas seem to forget (grin). At first I thought you might be on about your Shoulder because I had a few problems that I could not get round without a bit of help like tying the ties of a blouse that ties at the back of me. Of course now I can do it freely but for a few weeks I could have shrieked everytime I tried it so I let him tie them for me. I have also reminded him that he teaches the Dog to walk without pulling as I still have a little fragility there but its getting stronger every Day now how is yours is it better now? I thought he might have been lecturing you on that..xxx Me too I am a negative Nellie then for being realistic? xxx

I guess he must be a person who makes promises easily but seldom keeps them.If he is that type of person that means what he have said,you might surely ask him for help in case you has something beyond your reach.

I am shaking my finger at you bad Dawn....don't you know how much r adores you....and here you are being all negative etc....no wonder he wanted a divorce?? LOL.....

sometimes i am just R that will tell my wife to wait for me or ask from me if she has to do something. sometimes its my wife who would "force" me to do even if it's against my will. but i don't think Nellie is bad.

How's the move coming? You two need to get away from each other. Blessings to all

well let him know that you can not depend on him for everything. You are a independent women but you know men they want to feel like they are head of household and help their women with things that are easy for us to do like take out the trash.

For me yes because every first thing to be consider it is the impression of a shame.

No, NO, do not say that, my dear, rather it seeks to always think positive in life. My best wishes !