I Need Your Insights and Opinions About a Long Distance Love Issue.

Three years is a really really long time if the e-mail/chat was consistent. Seems to me there is a problem if after all that time he is not wanting to meet up. I think I would give an ultimatum/deadline and if not answered, I'd move on. I wish her all the best in health and happiness!!

I am skeptical about that relationship. I have a feeling that the girl is just wasting her time. It seems like it's just a one-sided relationship. The boy is mysterious and I can say that he don't truly love the girl. Yes, there are some long distance relationship that ended up positively but most of them ended up in despair. My advice is only stick with a long distance relationship if all things are working out well, but once doubts, misunderstandings and hopelessness emerge, that will be the time to stop. Long distance relationship is risky especially if you haven't met each other. Now that the boy seems to be getting cold, the girl should wake up and lessen his involvement. Open herself to other things and opportunity in life. Don't stick with something you are not sure of. I wish her good luck. Have a nice day to you!

I have been through that road before and I think it's safe to say that it requires great perseverance to be in that type of a relationship. I have fallen in love online before and I truly felt that those feelings were deep and real, but sadly you can never truly understand or know how the other is feeling - there will be times when they'd say they're for 'real' but deep down inside, they just don't want you to get hurt if they said what they truly felt. Anyhow, I had loved him so bad that I have done what you have said. I had told him I'd work somewhere close to him and that we could meet halfway. He was always hesitant. The conversations were great and all but I just didn't see why he was that way. After 7years of talking and seeing each other online, I finally decided that it's time for me to open myself up to other people. The communication was still open but he knew that I was actively meeting people, at times he'd even express his jealousy. After a while, we lost contact. Then after several months we saw each other online once again - he had gotten married. I honestly was devastated because our dreams of together were so concrete I could almost taste it! Finally, I had accepted the fact that we'd never be together and asked him to be open with me for the last time (asked him to be fully honest, even if it would be hurtful for me - it was the only way for me to finally close our book). I asked him why he married her - he said he felt it was time and she was there. I asked him if he had feelings for me - he said he did but felt that it wasn't strong because he never believed that we could be together. I asked why he made me wait for a long time - he never believed I would wait. Then he asked me if we could meet - then I said it was too late. I would be pulling your leg if I'd say that 'things would work out soon'. Remember that guys who are serious about you would always make the effort. It wouldn't take a lot of your creativity and effort to make a man go to you if he truly wanted to in the first place. Lastly, never form a romantic relationship with someone you have never met, nor seen in person, nor truly spent activities (face-to-face) with. It will be awkward when you finally meet and he doesn't feel the same way (or vice versa). Meet as friends and decide the next step after you meet and spent time. Anyhow, I have no regrets of my experiences with my long distance 'relationship'. He has given me a heck of an experience to begin with. But I'm glad I didn't pursue that person, it would end up that I'd work too hard for a relationship that only I wanted in the first place. If I had never let him go, I wouldn't have met a great guy whom I don't need to be creative nor spend too much effort to be given attention to. A guy who loves me even when I'm at my worst, even when I could snore and eat like there's no tomorrow and laugh at my foolishness and pride. And most of all, could decide for himself that he wants to be with me without me asking him if he wants to. Good luck and have a great MyLot experience ahead!

I don't want to be a downer but it seems like he has a fear of commitment. She should consider moving on. How long will it be before they are together? It sounds like she is willing to make a change and take a chance. He isn't. So, how long before he is? She is holding on for him and therefore he is preventing her from being happy with someone else. Also, maybe there is another reason why he does not want to meet or be together. Maybe he is in another relationship. This is something she needs to consider.

The fact that you are working overseas is fate in itself dont you think?? Maybe he is insecure of what you would think/feel about him once you meet. Sometimes seeing a person face to face is not like online chatting. Do you guys talk on the phone? How about webcam chat or such? Those things might make you both see the other person as someone real and so on. Ask him why he doesnt want to make an effort. If he cant answer you need to make this decision on your own ultimately. It is your life. No one can decide for you.

absolutely, the so-called real love through the Internet seems to fade with time go by. it is so fragile that can not last for a long time. for the boy, I will say that he is a man without any responsibilities because if he loves the girl, he would make every effort to pursue. and never hesitate to wait for the arrangement of fate. otherwise he is a real coward and not worthy of being loved by the girl. for the girl, she should understand and feel that her so-called lover actually doesn't love her so much. and she should make a decision on the relationship, or she will pain in the future.

I am not much of an experienced person, but from my overall view is that you have to study the person on the other side. Though you never disclosed more about him to judge the incident, as long as he is pushing the meeting occasions, you need to be careful on this matter. Whenever there is a failure to meet reveals there there is something wrong from the boy's side. If I were that body, I would not wait even for a week time to meet her. If I really love I would have been make arrangements for the same at whatever cost. Especially both are decided to live for ever. Also, the online friendship and relationships are truly is fraud upto 85% and few are become successful in the real sense. I am not discouraging in any way, but you needs to realise the facts what is happening around the world. I know many boys are so keen on doing such fraud relationships and they never come in picture for reality. So you need to examine the trustworthiness of his intentions or it may lead to utter failure or heavy disappointments in the later part of life. As long as he is denied for a personal meet, check why it happens? Do you know his full personal details like, his family background, nativity, current positions, and many more things. Is that boy is originally from native country and if so, find out the details. I am telling all these thing only to keep your relation more strength and firm. What about if he loses you after so many years, especially you found that he was fooling around with you. So, you need to be strong enough to convince all details and ask him when he will return to his native place (if you are already there) and meet him from your own place. Mostly people may visit atleast once in 2 years and your relationship is more than 3 years. So, first of all, you need to confirm the trust part and go ahead. It is my view and you can go ahead with your own opinion. Many girls are cheated in this way in the past and still girls are taking chances in this manner. I remember when I registered in a site where my name comes common in girl and boy, many boys used to send mails assuming as I am a girl and request for love. If I respond positively, there are thousands of offers and many more discussion in details used to come. And once I disclose that I am a body, these people never get in touch. Means, you should be careful and in the name of love and affair, you should not get cheated. If you want to continue the love and affair, it can continue ONLY after a personal meet or you SHOULD keep hold of everything. Have you seen his photograph? If not you should do it and if you seen, make sure that he is the same person you are in contact. All I am telling because there are foxes and devils running in the online relationships. Distant love is good, but you met him only through a site and never met him before, you need to be careful and this much is for now and the rest I will talk to you after getting your response to this discussion. Have a nice day. Thank-s

My relationship was a long distance one and I now live with the love of my life. I didn't let on failure stop me. I kept trying so I honestly believe if he says that he has tried and it failed once already, then his heart is not truly in the relationship. If you love some one then you will do everything you can to be with that person no matter how long it takes you would always be trying not letting fate decide when it happens.

I think that the boy is not that serious with her. I do not believe that there is such thing like "Let's leave it all to fate". We make our own fate and a relationship like that cannot go a step further unless one of them decides to take a step further. I think that if the man really loves her, he will do whatever it takes and try no matter how many times he fails. I think that distance is not a problem for a relationship, but it cannot stay like that. Three years without knowing each other yet and telling he loves her, I don't know. i mean how can they survive with that. Everybody wants to hold the hand of their loved one and hug them and tell them i love face to face. How can he tell her to just leave it to fate. I think the girl should think it twice again. She has to talk to the guy and ask him where the relationship is going. It should not mean that she is making the man do something he does not like... who will not want to be with her man? It is not something to get angry of... I think the man is not really serious and she deserves some guarding with her feelings, if she will continue thinking the same way with the guy.... she may find herself heart broken in the end. I am not being negative and it is still her decision....

That is a very very long distance. It is alright to get disappointed since the girl wanted to see or meet the boy. But in my opinion, I would suggest that the girl do not put to much effort on the boy because she might get broken. Let the boy do something for her, for we boys can do things for the girl we love.

The guy is not serious about her. Trust me. If you really love a person you will do anything and go the extra mile to be with him/her. Surely, he's not like that.

hi there kent, as i was reading your discussion i can feel that the boy has no interest of the girl. that is too weird. if he really love this girl then he would find means that he could soon meet her. i don't buy the excuse that he already failed once when he planned and the fact that the girl is doing an effort of meeting him but he makes some alibi that would be very disappointing. three years is much for a long distance relationship. doesn't he feel the excitement of finally meeting the girl? well, that really is weird if i were the girl i would ask him once again to meet me. then if he does not then maybe i would cut all my connections with him. he is showing no interest so why waste time.maybe he must be hiding something? i dunno..

i think this can be left on destiny. what ever will happen will be good for both of them. and also seeing a different view. i think they should meet if they think its love.thats all what i can say.......

Actually, I do not think the boy loves the girl as he reckons. If the boy dose, he will try him best to meet the girl. In my opinion, a long distance love exist high risk, they have not way to meet when they want to, but now there is a chance to meet each other why the boy isn't willing to holding it? The last failure can not represent this time, it's just an excuse. So to my way of thinking, the girl felt disappointed is right since the boy dosn't would like to make any sacrifices for the girl. And moreover, sometimes things need folk to do something not only waiting for fate to arrange...

First thing First : I Never believe on net gender because most of the IDs which we see around us are not the reality. Mostly people don't share their original information's so there is always risk involve regarding scam. If you find an original person and already you confirmed by video communication than only one thing you clarified which is how the personality and looks that particular person has. But it is natural he or she will behave with you with extra care and will not show you his/her real face until you both start a relationship by living together. I am witness of one couple who is living in my Neighbor, "They both met online and than decided to marry after some time". What happen after that? Girl who is actually my Neighbor she was quite young and got trapped in the net of that doubled her age I will say that old man which suits him. She was the only child of his parents who was looking for happiness of her daughter, although they tried their best to make her to not take that decision but in the end they agreed. Now after having kids he is demanding so many things and these poor my Neighbor's always fulfill his requirements even they are living in a hell. So I am a strong voice against these kind of relationships which end like this, whoever looking forward to convert this online relation into real life he/she must understand the person first or before going to any serious relation.

If the boy doesn't really plan for anything or even make a move for the future, then nothing will happen in terms of their relationship, or their so-called "fate." Fate is decided at the first step that one makes, and if you don't even move from where you are right now, nothing will ever happen to you.

hmm if i were the girl i would be cautious the fact that he has not been willing to meet and it has been three years should send up a major red flag for her maybe the guy has a girlfriend or wife i mean in todays world as sad as it is you cant always trust what people say especially people that you meet online or maybe the boy is just afraid of what could happen i mean how does he know she is even really a girl i think if you want to meet people the best and safest way to do it is in person the old fashioned traditional way

i have been into long distance relationship too. I always wanted to see my girl, it's just like i want to pick her up in my mind and steal her.. :) but it didn't work. If the guy is serious, he would really make an effort to meet the girl but seems like he doesn't want to. That's unfair i think. The girl might as well want to end it for their own good.

absolutely, the so-called real love through the Internet seems to fade with time go by. it is so fragile that can not last for a long time. for the boy, I will say that he is a man without any responsibilities because if he loves the girl, he would make every effort to pursue. and never hesitate to wait for the arrangement of fate. otherwise he is a real coward and not worthy of being loved by the girl. for the girl, she should understand and feel that her so-called lover actually doesn't love her so much. and she should make a decision on the relationship, or she will pain in the future.

Conventionally, the girl should wait for the boy to initiate the meeting. Now, in modern time, I think this scenario is acceptable. In my opinion, if the boy really love the girl, he would have wanted to meet her regardless of his past disappointments. It could be argued otherwise that the boy might be trying to protect his heart from a possible breaking again. That could be a reason why he is hesitant to meet the girl. On the other hand, may I just use a cliche here, Love Conquers Everything. If a person truly love another person, there is no fear, no regret, no ifs or buts. Long Distance Love and/or Virtual Love is becoming popular these days but we cannot guarantee that it is true. Thus, we may be happy when we are online but what if the internet fails us? Lastly, the girl should set her priorities. She should love herself first. If the boy is not willing to give in to his fear or whatever it is that keeps him from meeting the girl, then he is not worthy of her love.