If divorce is so painful...why get divorced?
By mrsbentley27
@mrsbentley27 (662)
United States
September 15, 2011 3:42am CST
I have been married 8 years and the thought of a divorce is depressing, even though we are not getting a divorce, the subject has came up. We have 3 beautiful children and I would not want to put them through that. The way I see it is that we vowed to be together til DEATH do us part and we are still very much alive. I understand that people change but there are things that could help keep the marriage together... like counseling, spending time together, doing something you both enjoy. They only way Id divorce my husband is if he has committed adultery. I get lonely from time to time because my husband is a truck driver and is on the road 2-3 weeks at a time but hopefully soon that will change and he will get a different job where he can be home everyday. I miss him when he is gone and the kids miss him too. It is rough but " Id give it all. Id give for us. Give anything but I wont give up." Dont pay any attention Im just ranting lol. My in-laws recently got divorced after being married like 30 years and now all I hear is how they love each other but they talk so bad about each other. I just try to ignore it. Anyway good new is my husband and I are renewing our vows in 2013 on our 10 year anniversary. We are doing great and he is the love of my life. I could not imagine losing him.
6 responses
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
16 Sep 11
Well,do not imagine that in law because will keep disturbing your mind,keep your relationship with your husband remain faithful even he is at work..
I feel sorry to that in law got divorce,so not good..
So advance for your anniversary to your husband..
@mrsbentley27 (662)
• United States
17 Sep 11
I have faith in my relationship with my husband. Everyone deserves to be happy and there was a point in time where we were starting to get unhappy but realized over time we have been together too long to through that away.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
16 Sep 11
Congratulations on being happily married and soon renewing your vows. Sadly there are times that divorce is necessary and perhaps it is painful to go through but given some of the circumstances as to why the divorce is necessary perhaps it would not be healthy to stay married.
I certainly did marry my ex-husband with the intent that it would not be for ever and ever but sadly he became a very dangerous man. It was one thing that my life was in danger but as a responsible mother of two little ones. I could not risk my children with it as well. Sometimes when our partner hurts us it does not mean we instantly stop loving them. So the process at times can be painful because we certainly do not go through the marriage with the preconception that some day we will divorce.
So with time one does recover and for instance with me it was the best thing I did as I have two children I raised completely physically and financially on my own and both of them recently graduated college. Had I stayed in that environment, God only knows what and how my children would have turned out. So my friend as hard as it might seem, there are circumstances that do warrant divorces.
I am glad that you have someone wonderful in your life and the blessing for me is that had I not gotten divorced, thereafter 6 years later I met the boyfriend that I do have. He is like a blessing and we have been together for almost 8 years.
@mrsbentley27 (662)
• United States
17 Sep 11
I would never say to anyone to stay in a relationship that is abusive or dangerous. I mean when you are unhappy and just get divorced without even trying to save the marriage. I guess everyone is different when it comes to divorce because leaving and abusive relationship wouldnt be painful for me.
Thats great that your kid graduated collage! Not to many get a chance to go and it sounds like yo did a great job raising your kids.
Congrats on finding someone great!
@maclanis (2406)
• Belgium
15 Sep 11
I think not getting divorced can be even more painful than divorce in certain situations. If you are completely unhappy in your marriage, why continue with it? Especially if you both feel this way. I agree that you shouldn't divorce just because you have a fight every now and then, but when the situation is unbearable, it would be very painful to stay together.
@mrsbentley27 (662)
• United States
17 Sep 11
I think that everything can be worked out in some way. IMO you only make it unbearable if your not spending time together or showing interest in things that your spouse enjoys. I mean I would suggest staying in a relationship if it is abusive or something like that but getting divorce when its a minor thing such as being unhappy. There are many different things you can do in a marriage to change that.
@ARShams (82)
• Pakistan
15 Sep 11
Divorce is, of course, understood as unpleasant and unlikable nature of action. However, there are situations when one has to consider the matter of continuing with the wedlock more than thinking of a break of it because, the person who divorces suffers, his/her offspring and the family as well.
In such situation as wise people do that they take time from each other and temporarily adopt living/staying separately. Later they discuss the matter to find maximum positive reasons for their living together as married couple and so on.
Notwithstanding, in case the situation gets too tough and rough to save the marriage by trying various means, divorce stands as compulsory, otherwise, a life of restlessness etc. begins and that may cause losing health and some other complications in living and letting live.
Although divorce becomes an unavoidable it becomes a must yet one must consider and reconsider on not divorcing as much it can be possible because after effect of it is bitter, seldom sweet.
With regards,
ARShams
@mrsbentley27 (662)
• United States
17 Sep 11
Everyone suffers but more the children. I guess if youve already tried to save the marriage there isnt much more you can do.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
15 Sep 11
You get divorced because the marriage is even more depressing and you want to live to and you hope sooner or later you will be able to love someone else. That is why people do go through a painful divorce (although there are also divorces that are not painful at all).
It takes courage and a lot of energy to divorce, it is not an easy taken decision. Many people will never find the courage to do so because they prefere a bad life, even molesting, so the life they know, before starting a new life.
Happy to hear you are doing great :-D
@mrsbentley27 (662)
• United States
16 Sep 11
I would never choose to stay in a bad relationship. Why people do I will never understand. I have a family member who finally got out of a bad relationship and no matter how many times I told her she just wouldnt leave and she wasnt even married.
@svjomboy (873)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
if you feel painful about your devorce, so you still love your wife or husband, but for me i am very happy to get devorce coz my exx husband stop bothering me and hit me up!!!
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