It's all About Him

I went through your situation. It's really hard to hide something. Until now, they don't have a clue about my boyfriend and have no plans to tell them. For now, follow your parents first. You should talk to them. That's the only thing I can decide.

Looking at your profile Maricar, it is stated that you're 18 years old. At the very least, it gives me some clue on the reason(s) why your parents are against the relationship you have right now with your boyfriend. It is normal to find someone to love us in romantic terms, someone to care for us and make us feel special. Life has many and different priorities and at your present age and situation, it appears that focusing on your study is the thing of paramount concern. Having a boyfriend is not wrong in itself but then you have to consider the timing. To have a boyfriend or not is not something I will intrude into, it will your own discretion to personally decide on that particular matter. I will only include in my post things that you can consider, the decision is wholly yours. As a young person, this is the time for you to learn and develop skills, character, ideas, and other things that will help you through the rest of your life. As you can see, life is not just about romantic matters and not everything is "rose-colored" and "sweet." From your parents point of view, this is not the time for relationship but rather a time for serious studies so you can equip yourself with things that you can use in you lifetime. Or perhaps, your parents sees some things about your boyfriend that might present a danger or complicated problems for you now or in the future. It is normal for parents to feel indignant because you lied to them. Nonetheless, the trust can be regained depending on how you conduct yourself to remedy the situation. After all, you are their daughter to protect and care for. You can start regaining their trust by starting on small things. For example, if they want you to be home at a certain time, then you should comply with it. Same thing can be done with other matters. Regarding your boyfriend, if you really love him then it would be better to talk with him and present your situation and how you feel about it. If he loves you truly, he will be able to understand your perspective and would help you with the problem. Sometimes being able to wait for the proper time for your relationship can help you to be more responsible individuals. There are things in life that follows a proper sequence in order to achieve good results and this is true of relationships. I want to say more but I guess this will do considering that I don't have an idea of other details pertaining your situation. Have a nice day.

Most young adults feel that what they're doing is the 'right thing' only to be bombarded with realities and regrets afterwards. I think you should just follow what they're saying right now, if they don't want you to have a boyfriend, it is for the right reasons. If your boyfriend feels that you're important to him, he should step up and talk to your parents even if it's against your wishes or theirs. I know you'd feel that you have the right to do things in your life, but know that as long as you're staying under their roof (parents) it's still their call. Just don't add injury to insult. I know you think you love the person and can't live without him, but you don't want to burn the bridges of relationship with your family. It's your choice - but remember that we always make mistakes when we're young. You should feel lucky that your parents and family is concern for you and not treating you as someone invisible. Have a great MyLot experience!

Hello Maricar, first of all welcome to myLot. I know it is hard on your part to be in this kind of situation. You just fell in love and I think that is very normal. Missing your love can really cause you to be lonely, so you are doing some ways to see your boyfriend even in a hidden manner. By the way, if you would mind asking, are you in high school or college? What I can advise to you is that you should follow the advice of your parents. Most of the time, your parents are 100% right and they know what is really better for you. Since you are still studying, I think you should focus first on your studies. If that guy really loves you, he can understand you and would somehow give you some enough time to focus first on your studies, same thing on him. Your parents want you to reach your goals first and when the time comes that you have already reached your goal, then that is the time you can have a boyfriend. I must say love can really wait and if he is worth waiting for, then you are in the right track. I have encountered especially some friends of mine who have the same situation of yours, they have combined their studies with having a relationship, at the end they ended up marrying at an early age with babies already. Take note, some of them did not finish their studies and they are already half way to their college years. Right now, since you have lost the trust of your parents, what I can advise to you is that you should slowly put them back into pieces – the trust that you broke. Building a trust is a slow process and you need to let them feel that you are already committed with your promises, you are already matured enough to take the right course of actions, and most of all you are honest enough wherein you do not hide something from them. You should always tell the truth though there are some instances that we need to hide something for the sake of avoiding problems and arguments, but in your case, you should have told them about this hidden relationship you have. If anything happened to you, your parents will still be the one who will look after you. Action speaks louder than words, so you have to do some appropriate actions in order for your parents to trust you back again. Though the result of your action will not guarantee that it will make them trust you 100%, but at least your parents will eventually realize and feel that you already changed, and if they see that new attributes from you, then eventually they will forget what you have done to them. Hope this helps you in any way. GOD bless.