calling for advice but not listening. Again....
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
September 17, 2011 6:30pm CST
I have a friend who always calls me and asks for advice about her work. Her problem is always the same but I tell her. How I would deal with the situation myself but she never listen to me.
I am already tired of hearing her whine about her job not paying her well but she stupidly lets her boss do this to her. Why can't she grow us and think for herself!
I told her many times they are not going to give her a permanent job,and shed call. Of every contract renewal only to tell of it that I was right and how come a company can be so mean!
I told her you saw this coming and there is really no one to blame now.
Do you in to friends and ask for their opinion over and over but you never listen?why are some people so hard headed!
10 responses
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
20 Sep 11
they are simply stubborn people. and i am annoyed with these kind of people.
i would be telling them the same old advice i have given them and it's all up to them to come back with the same problem. by the way, he's a friend, right? 
@zhawee (873)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
If i were you I living that place and living alone your friend, why, she never listening on you. You wasting you time to talk with them. but you must listen also why.. maybe she got a reason and he did not already tell you..when she call you don`t talk to them because she fallow what she wants.. that she realize you are right.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
18 Sep 11
I have a friend that does the same thing. My sister does too. She'll ask me for advice all the time then not listen to anything I say. Especially when it comes to things with her son. I worked in a daycare for 8 years and I have three kids of my own. I don't think I'm an expert but I do know some things and tips etc that worked for me. You'd think she'd at least try them after asking me.
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Sep 11
In fact this may be common since sometimes we just call for complaining rather than asking for the help. People need to have a way to release the pressure. And talking in the phone is one of them. Perhaps your friend has many worries to fight for her rights. Maybe it is not so easy for her to find a job and she is afraid of changing a new job, too. If she calls you next time about the same problem. Try to be patient and give your suggestions as usual. After all, she is your friend. At least you shall spend time listening to her troubles. Even if we may not help them to have a change.
I love China
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
hi youless, thank you so much for your response. that is true sometimes there are just those who wants to have someone listen to them i get that and i do listen.. but when the problem is just the same over and over again, i would be pissed you know.
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
My daughter ranted every night when she gets home, for two long months, and I told her to talk to the HR head and air her grievances. The HR listened and the gross boss apologized. Now, my daughter is even chummy with her kinder boss. Sometimes, tell your friend, that we have to address our complaints at the proper venue....
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
Funny how I told her to talk to her boss about the concern instead of her going to me for an opinion. Of course it is better to asked for the person instead of other person like me. Though I have and is seeing what is likely to happen, mine is still not as good as it getting directly.
1 person likes this
@CelticSoulSister (1640)
• Southend-On-Sea, England
21 Sep 11
It sounds like, after having offloaded onto you, your friend deep down knows what she must do to put things right in her life, but is either too afraid or whatever to do it. Not sure what the answer as to how to in future to deal with her would be for you though.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
I can also tell call myself as hardheaded now coz i disobey or break the rule of not sending or contacting my man. But still i did. I ask also the advice of friends here and they gave they're words .. but i break it sadly ... It is in the name of love always that is why. Being impatient of waiting the right time for reconciliation or healing my heart broken .. and yet i did sending him messages. Thru sms and here on chat.. so sorry for myself..
@shuuen (39)
• Japan
18 Sep 11
I used to have a friend like yours, and she would never listen to whatever I say. She would keep whining about the same things and refuse to change. At the end of the day, the only person who can really help you is yourself, and if your friend would rather just keep complaining, then nothing will change. Don't exhaust yourself with her and try leaving her alone for a change, to see if she can cope with herself on her own. Then maybe she will change.
