Fisrt time in mylot but I'm not happy...
By someone27
@someone27 (31)
Philippines
September 18, 2011 2:12am CST
This my first time in mylot and the reason why I created an account was because I want to read the discussions that my boyfriend had created. But unfortunately, I was not happy about it because it was something about having a relationship even though you are committed to someone else. Would it be considered cheating? We were together for almost a decade now... What shall I do? I'm hurt but I love him so much...
7 people like this
24 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
18 Sep 11
I have several thoughts after reading your topic 
Does he know that you have joined myLot too or did you join without revealing your intentions to him? Why did younot use his referral link to sign up as you have been together for so long and therefore, I presume, have plans and do things together?
Or did you already have doubts and that is why you joined?
Was his topic just generic or did he talk about himself as the one having the relationship?
Oh, even though your reasons for joining seem different from many of us, welcome to myLot!
Does he know that you have joined myLot too or did you join without revealing your intentions to him? Why did younot use his referral link to sign up as you have been together for so long and therefore, I presume, have plans and do things together?
Or did you already have doubts and that is why you joined?
Was his topic just generic or did he talk about himself as the one having the relationship?
Oh, even though your reasons for joining seem different from many of us, welcome to myLot!5 people like this
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
The reason I joined mylot is to read his discussions but he allowed me make an account...
Thanks!
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
18 Sep 11
Odd that you did not join as his referral because he would have earned from your participation 
5 people like this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
18 Sep 11
My first thoughts is that if you have to create an account to read your boyfriends discussions, something is not right with the relationship. I do understand that coming her is a good thing to vent and or get help/opinions, but ultimately when it comes to relationships we do have to really weigh what is important to us and what we will not tolerate.
As what to do, simply have a heart to heart talk with him, no ultimatums unless you are completely and 100% serious. It is the only way and leaving it swept under the carpet only makes for deeper issues as time goes by.
Wish you well and welcome to myLot.
5 people like this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
Okay, now this is really creepy...I have a feeling that you are my girlfriend, but I have just asked her and she said this isn't her so now I am really confused. Two of your topics were almost pertaining to me and us, except I didn't want to have any other relationship, but I do remember that me and my girlfriend talked about a discussion I started which was this:
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2544702.aspx
Now, really? I'm just 
2 people like this
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
First, i'm not your girlfriend. Second, how did your girlfriend react when he read your post?
2 people like this
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
18 Sep 11
Do not be lulled by love. If your lover cheated, you should immediately leave him. You are not married, so it's better left behind. Than you will suffer, when you get married later. Welcome to MyLot. Hopefully, I can still be found, your discussion, and respond to your discussion.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 11
someone you are making a dreadful mistake and I think you did not read all of what he said as he said he eould nver do that. wondering about somethihng is not being unfaithful, we all won der at timesx how our livesx might have been were we to marry somone different, that nev er meant for one istnace we would cheat.
1 person likes this
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
Thanks! Yeah, I think I will make a big decision tonight!
2 people like this
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
18 Sep 11
I always say honesty is the best policy...I would tell him your hurts and concerns and see how he reacts. I understand it's a little frightening for you to do that but you really need to know and not just agonize over the possibilities..
If it's all innocent and he is just making conversation he might be upset you are spying on him and not trusting him. I wish you all the best..relationships at their best are based on trust and openness.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 11
first comment flew the coop. look I read Choybells discussion again and he did not say he had or will have another relationship with anyone, he did say he wondered how it would feel to be in a different relationship my God you are accusing the man of doing something when He was just wondering and even saying he would never do that as he had been with his girl for over nine years. you are making a molehill into a mountain and being sleazy going behind his back and denying it was you when he knew the codes that you used as your username.look all people wonder what it would have been like to be with someone else, that's not two timing at all. he is not going to do that. straighten up girl and be honest admit this is you and your discussion.tell him you got hurt and scared he did
not love you anymore. that first long paragraph showed he really does love you reread it as you got upset over nothing.
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
Okay. Maybe I should just confront him..
Thanks..
2 people like this
@sideword (40)
•
18 Sep 11
If the discussion appeared that your boyfriend positively got involved in having relationship with another girl, then it can really be painful and yes I can consider that cheating. But to make it clearer, confront your boyfriend and ask about it. He may have a valid reason and good explanation. I hope everything will be fine on both of you. Good luck on your relationship.
2 people like this
@sideword (40)
•
18 Sep 11
It doesn't sound like he's guilty, he has not done the cheating yet, but somehow facing temptations. Temptations are always present and it's up to the person if he will fall for it or not, and your boyfriend didn't fall but has a tendency so you should pour a water in it before it turn into fire. Don't let him fall, know all his activities so that you can prevent any possible cheating to occur. His love to you should always prevail.
1 person likes this
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
His first sentence is like this...
If you were attracted to someone else would you make a direct action towards her?
What does that mean?
I think I'm paranoid...
2 people like this
@Netsbridge (3253)
• United States
18 Sep 11
Count yourself lucky that by registering to Mylot you found out exactly how your friend thinks. It is alwasy a blessing to be disappointed and end a relationship during courtship than find out after marriage that the person probably took you for a fool.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
18 Sep 11
the best thing to do is ask him about the post. you don't want to be guessing about what is going on. be honest and tell him you read it and ask him what did he mean. If you have been together that long you should be able to have an honest conversation with him
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
18 Sep 11
Hi, someone27. Welcome to myLot!
I am very sorry to hear about this. I think that it is time that you come clean with him for once and for all. Tell him how you feel about him discussing the fact of having a relationship when you two are totally committed to each other. I hope that the situation is not what it may seem to be. The only way that you can get this issue resolved is if you finally decide to come clean with your boyfriend.
I am very sorry to hear about this. I think that it is time that you come clean with him for once and for all. Tell him how you feel about him discussing the fact of having a relationship when you two are totally committed to each other. I hope that the situation is not what it may seem to be. The only way that you can get this issue resolved is if you finally decide to come clean with your boyfriend.1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
How did you know that your boyfriend is having a relationship with another?
Don't you think he might be referring to you ?
You have to clarify things with him and don't waste that decade all becoz you have doubts.
Anyway, welcome to mylot and sorry to hear that you feel upset on your fist day of joining here.
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
He is pertaining to someone else...
Thanks!
2 people like this
@allknowing (137764)
• India
18 Sep 11
Just because a topic is posted I don't think you could assume that it has to do with his life. We put up so many topics and many of them have nothing to do with us personally. If you love him you should have full trust in him and give the benefit of doubt.
2 people like this
@someone27 (31)
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
Thanks! Maybe that is the best thing I would do...
2 people like this
@iEatCookies (51)
• Australia
18 Sep 11
Hi someone27,
I reckon if you are considering confronting him about the situation, you should have solid evidence of his intentions. If you confront him without any evidence, and it turns out he was not pertaining to someone else, your relationship would end badly.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
18 Sep 11
I fear that either way the trust is gone. Once there is no trust in a relationship it is doomed
5 people like this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
21 Sep 11
Like others have said here, unless you have 100% proof that there is someone else, do not be too worried about it. And you are sure that it is your boyfriends discussions that you are reading and finding out information about? Maybe you were reading more into it than what is supposed to be there as well. If you Love him and he Loves you than you should be able to talk about your fears and see if there is something more you need to know. Anyways the Best will come as it should be.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
To end your confusion, talk to him straight, have a heart to heart talk. tell him you have read the discussion and what is it all about. Years are just numbers, eventhough there are memories in it.. sometimes it ends and sometimes it might not. Be brave
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
19 Sep 11
I Am not sure what is going on here! first you join MyLot to spy on your boyfriend?...that mean you know hi's user name right?....soooo if he let you know hi's user name he has nothing to hide! on the other hand if has something to hide...he is not very clever by using his real name on a social network place. Now I don't know about other people but to me my social network is my place where I come to share/comment about issues that probably my family and some friends[ in real life] won't agree with...so I keep it private...no one knows my user name...and to avoid conflicts is better that way.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
20 Sep 11
Welcome to MyLot! Does he know you joined or are you sneaking around and checking up on him? If you just want to see what he posts, you must not trust him and in that case your relationship is probably doomed if he cheats or not.
@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
19 Sep 11
I think that if you have being with him you should know him better, and know if he love you or is just costume what he feels,I think that you should talk to him and ask him about your thoughts, maybe he is not really talking about his life, maybe those stories that he have read or heard.
@jessicabiadora (44)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
it is really true that love is sacrifice despite the fact that you caught him cheating you still love him no matter how painful it is to you...lucky him that there is someone love him that much!!!but girl wake up until when you can handle those things?you cannot love anybody if you do not know how to love yourself also...try to think of it your a wonderful person lucky someone to have you in their life maybe there's someone out there whom deserves your love not that kind of guy...
