The Bitterness of Being a GOOD HUSBAND?

Did you eat ampalaya? Maybe that is because you are in that situation.hahaha...Joke.peace... .Oh,if your wife is easy to angry in a little things,she should not be,because if she keeps doing that,will worse..not good ,and her life will keep bitter,and one day there is troubles..

That's why so many of us have poor communication problems with our spouse. Why add fire to the furnace when we can let it burn itself out. Sometimes it's better to keep it to ourselves.

here we end up in a hollering contest say all we ant to say while every one hollering an it clears the air once we hav it out cantt ake it back but things do calm down

hi neildc seems your step daughter sort of spoke out of turn thats sad, and her gesture was not nice,so you reacted with anger. Did your wife describe you as being angry and going blah blah blah? seems to me that it not just wifey as you say but hubandie too who gets too angry too quick.calm down and' do respect your wife more. I feel for her as I had at times been caught between my adult son and my husband. for some reason when my son got to his teens my husband refused to have anything to with him. sometimes in our relations with mates and children we lose our way. I know how you wife felt loving you both and trying not to go to war with either of you.I am so sorry your stepdaughter was rude to you as it seems young teens now for some reason do not have any respect for any one especially parents.It sounds like you were raised by parents who demanded respect for older people and I know i was too. For one thing do not go into a calm discussion you mean to have with your wife with the attitude what she says is just blah blah, as if my husband had done that to me. I would have been angry too. respect each other always even in anger, specially when angry. the three C's Neild calm, cool, and collected.Of course you have a right to be angry as does any one else, but someone has to cool off and start mending the fences between you two. Neil I do wish you and your wife too all the happiness in the world.,I always hated it whem I and my husband had an occasional argument. I have been a widow for a long time now but still miss him at times.

"antosa lang bai"

Sweetie, no offense, but don't you think that you, your wife and the little madam should go see someone to help sort this problem out. One thing your wife and the madam should remember, anyone can loose their temper, it just depend who you loose it on. I honestly think you need some guidance and advice. I'm not certified, and my advice will probably cause a war. Want to go to the beach?

sorry to hear that, but i guess all good husband just keep quiet when their wife is outrage. i too just keep my mouth shut when she is not in a good mood. she makes me relax when i am angry, she shuts up too when i am not in a good but BUT.... sometimes there are situations where when i am mad she will be mad too. and i told her, getting when i am mad is rude. i just let her mad when she is mad then when i get mad she will get mad too. we talk about this things when we are both in a good mood. so we practice this things all this years already. but of course sometimes it does still happens. being a step dad is not easy... as i see with your situation. but being your wife who is caught in the middle of all this is even harder. of course all of us wants to have an harmonious house but sometimes there are situations that can be avoided.

U are in a bad situation, Neil. Ur wife is torn between u & her daughter but she needs to realize what this daughter is doing & maybe doing it intentionally just to cause trouble between the two of u.Until your wife admits to this i'm afraid things are only going to get worse. The daughter needs an attitude adjustment, big time.

Do you listen when she talks or just hears blah blah blah. I think your wife is telling you volumes but you aren't listening to her. She is caught in between you two and that really hard on a person. When you love both but feel caught in between. It is unfair to be caught like that.

It seems to me that anger is being used as a weapon here. The Daughter knows that if she responds with anger, you will get set off. She knows just how to push that button. In all likelyhood this distracts from the subject that was being talked about. Teens are especially skilled at button pushing. Your best defense in this is no reaction. A couple of times of that will cause a new weapon to be found. Likely it will be a complaint that you just don't care. Let that one go also and sooner or later you will become just a tree by the side of the road instead of a road block. Make sure you discuss this tactic with your wife so she can see what is happening. After all you want the relationship with your wife to continue long after the kids have moved out, don't you? A clear course of action between the adults helps. You also need to look to your own insecurities and keep your mind on what matters most to you. A calm happy household now, probubly not possible during the teen years, or a long happy marriage with your wife. Blessings

My boyfriend's like that! It's annoying the crap out of me. It seems to me that he always wants to be right, like he wants that what he says be the last thing said. When we fight, he keeps on defending himself (therefore implying that I'm wrong). So we argue and we argue and we argue, and then when I get tired of aruing, I'll tell him I'm sorry for fighting with him. I'll accept what he says (his defense). I do all of these in a soothing, calm voice, then he'll say sorry, he'll say he's wrong, that I shouldn't say sorry at all. That it was his fault in the first place, then we'll start arguing again about who should be sorry, then he'll go defensive again. I hate it so much. I actually point it out to him and nothing's changing. :(

Hello Neil. I am very sorry to hear this. I really don't know what to say to your situation but i just feel like i have to console you somehow. In what way i don't know. I just feel like you needed someone to talk to at this time and i wish there were some way i could talk to you. Maybe it's because i'm married too and though our situation is different, i still can relate to you somehow. I hope everything will be fine with you and your wife.

Hi neil! Your title made me go to your discussion,lol! I understand how you feel as sometimes my hubby is like you,he would rather not talk when I am angry. But we both talk about it before we go to sleep and sort things out. I know the reason for you not talking about it again is because your wife might get mad again but the problem will only get worse if you don't talk about it. What your stepdaughter did was not right,she should respect you and that's what you should tell your wife. Goodluck!

hi there it must be so very bad for you. daghan d.i bisaya sa mylot noh? haha! it's quite interesting to be seeing you guys here it just prove that Filipinos are well rounded! hey about your step daughter. maybe it was really hard for her to accept you as her mom's good behalf that even with all the goodness that you have been showing to her is still unappreciated. maybe she was too attached with her father before and she doesn't want any replacements for her father. i really feel bad for you being disrespected by that little girl. i think also the thing between you and your wife you should talk about it when she is calm. look for the perfect time that you can confront her maybe before going to sleep you talk things over. i am not married yet nor have kids but i have heard this from a lot of old men so i am learning from that. i guess it would not be all the time that your wife is having this bad temper. i hope you solve this soon. just ask guidance from the One above. he will never fail you just continue to be the good loving father that you have always been. still keep in mind that you are blessed. keep your family strong even with this problem. keep them intact. bilib ko nimo sir! keep your cool always. women could be so provoking at times ok, all the time..hehe be happy always! :)

Hi Neil! That's so frustrating. But I'm wondering why you got so mad just from a sneer or frown from your stepdaughter. But then again, I think I can understand if someone young did that to an older person. It would really feel like the child is being disrespectful. Anyway, maybe after some time, you can talk about it with your wife. About her getting angry and talking at the same time while you are talking to vent out your angry, and when it's the opposite, you just let her talk and wait. Just wait until everything really calms down. Maybe tomorrow or tonight, I think that's the best time to talk about it again. By the way, what does paita means? I can feel it's bisaya because of the oi but I don't know what it means.

My friend I think your step-daughter does not know respect. She obviously does not know how to respect you as her step-father. I understand your feelings but I think in such a case you should not have allowed your anger burst that way. It would be quite hard because being disrespected can really provoke anger but considering the fact that you are having lunch, you should have at least controlled yourself, and wait till the lunch is over before you deal with the situation accordingly. I think if you waited for everyone to finish lunch and then after the meal you called your stepdaughter to tell her in a more composed manner that she should not behave that way then I think there would be no such kind of very troublesome atmosphere in your house. Now your wife behaved worse than you did here. Instead of pacifying the rift between you and her daughter, she added more fire into the situation. Well dear, I know very well the very hard situation you are in. As a man, you can't make "patol" with your wife if only to to avoid further trouble. Sadly, although your wife has to amend her attitude, it seems she finds nothing wrong with her attitude and believes it is just her normal self and you just have to understand her. So this means that only a big miracle can change your wife. Well what can yo do but to add, more and more patience for the sake of peace. But your step-daughter should not get away just like that with her disrespectful attitude. If you can talk to her and try to help her change by using a more diplomatic manner then the better. Now with your wife, I think you also need to talk to her in a diplomatic way so that both of you resolve any issues at home in a more civilized manner. Even if you failed in this method for several times already, keep talking to her about this issue without necessarily fighting or arguing with her. Also never forget to pray. Ask God to give you more patience and also to change not just you but your wife and your step-daughter as well. Remember, with God nothing is impossible.

ana na jud na bai. hahaha Well, talk to your wife. like i have said before COMMUNICATION.. or let me talk to your wife lol she sounds like someone who does not listen. ..sometimes when you do good, you suffer

I dont know what to say really.I think you have just enter into complex situation.Neildc you need to sit down with your wife and discuss if there is any way out of this.Your step daughter is hating you and you cant do anything as she is too young to understand complexities of marriage. May be separating matters and limiting your relationship to your wife only might work.You cant force on your step daughter to accept you as a new dad.

hello neil, Hahaha...sorry dear brother, but the first response made me laugh. "antosa bai" (bear with it) Okay, that's the price of being a good husband ,so no complain and no why have a good day dear brother and hugs to the little kiddo

"Do you still know who I am?" is a demand for respect. Demanding respect only demeans you. Never demand for something as delicate as respect, especially to a child. The reason why your wife is actually okay with you getting mad. She just doesn't want to hear anything while she's still processing the situation. Anyone who is angry has not understood a situation fully and need time to understand it, so allow them their anger space. The same goes for yourself as well. When you're angry, just say "I'm angry." Then find space for yourself. No conversation between two angry people have ever prospered. Again, it's perfectly okay to be angry. Just don't base your actions on it.