having children

so you don't have baby in your future? may I know are you married? I'm sure that many people like you out there, they don't want to have baby cos of any reasons. but it's alright cos people could decide what they desire of something or not. raising baby is very challenging. we should take care of them every single second. we dedicate all of our time watching them cos we don't want them getting sick or accident. it must be far different with raising baby animals. so baby is truly demanding. but ya, it's the risk. but for me, the struggle and pain are worth cos I could get big happiness from my baby..

it's sad knowing you had already had a baby when you were 17. it must be hard at that time, rite? but today, it's just a kind of memory which is funny or happy to tell..or not? actually I wanted to delay of having baby in the beginning of my marriage life but my husband couldn't afford to have a baby soon. I just followed what he desired cos my husband is everything for me. and it's not bad at all. I was so happy of having a baby cos my baby is so healthy and beautiful. even some of my friends said that she is so smart. ya, it's so hard and challenging raising a baby but it's compatible with the happiness she brings. and just like you, I don't know what my life would be without her..

ups, I'm sorry..I only said what I felt. it's great for you cos you're able to get all o it through by your own. I think you're really really tough woman. not all women like you. maybe they decided to do abortion cos they were too young to be a mother. being mother is not only about delivering baby rite? mother also takes a big responsibilities in taking care of her baby, avoiding them from getting sick or injured. and it's not easy at all. so when you decided to have the baby at age 17, it's so amazing..even I couldn't imagine how was your feeling at that time..but, once again, two thumbs up for your bravery and strength..

No Its Not Sad.. :) I was young a dumb and didn't want to take precaution. Yes It was very hard being young but i did it by myself with the help of family financially . i am very proud of my self that i raise a beautiful baby girl.and she is very very smart for her age. i didn't plan on her to come but when i found out i grew up a lot and took on the responsibility that i brought on for myself..Their are a lot of teens having baby's. as long as they take care of the baby , i think its fine. its not the best cause they can't go to college and it holds back there dreams for w little bit. but just cause u have a baby/kid don't mean you cant do what you dreamed of. people just use it as a excuse cause they don't want to do it no more or their just lazy.. :)

in my place, it's rare women have idea like you, Galena.. some people said that life is just about choices, you may choose which part you want to belong or what kind of life you want to lead. I choose to have a baby cos for me and my husband, marriage without baby is plain and incomplete. and it's so different with your choice. may I know, don't you curious how your baby will look like? I mean baby is the combination between wife and husband, not only the face and body but also in their attitude. don't you want to know about all of it?

well if it ever happens by accident, I'll find out. obviously, you occasionally wonder about those sort of things, but curiosity isn't reason enough to bring a life into the world. if not, well, then my life continues happily on. I think it's a big responsibility, and unless you REALLY want to do it, it's probably a good idea not to.

yeah..my surrounding made me behave like this. maybe in the other part of my place, out there, there are some women have idea like you but they're not around me that's why I wonder of it. it's not about good or bad but it's about habit. some people around me have baby carelessly. they pushed to have baby (marriage SHOULD 'produce' a baby, if not you'll be questioned along your life why your marriage doesn't 'produce' a baby..silly? mmmm..maybe little bit..LOL) then they raise their baby carelessly. bad in behaving them and not too well educated because of lack of money. you're right about having big responsibilities in raising a baby but sometimes we've just known that we could be a responsible person we have already got the 'problem'..

I have my first child at 27 and now she is almost five years old and I am 31. but I still don't have a planning to have a child again. I wait for my first child growing up so when she has younger sister or brother, she will be more independent and able to take care of herself. I will wait for two or three years later to have a child again. I hope in that age, my daughter will be more mature and she won't depend again to her parents to take care of herself so I can take care of my baby more relaxingly. but you're right about having baby before 40 cos in that age, we will be very old to take care of a baby in that age. and we will be so old to raise baby. so it's better for woman to have baby before 40..how about you, Max.do you ave baby? :)

you have three children! it's great! :) and about your disable son, I'm sorry to hear that. it must be hard to lead life everyday with disable son beside you. but I'm sure you're great mother so you can face this test patiently. in my religion, taking care of children is one of good deeds so God will see it as our sacrifice and He will give us heaven as our reward. so if you have disable son, your efforts are harder than other mothers so your reward is more than them..so keep struggling, Mom..and heaven is waiting for you in the end of your life..

sometimes life couldn't give those opportunity. I mean sometimes we couldn't any researches first before we finally decided we want to have a baby or not. but don't you think it's too ridiculous that we should make those researches before we have a baby? LOL. I mean having a baby is not like a kind of having a motorbike or new gadget so we should do some trials and errors. having a baby such a blessing for me. maybe when I have a baby I wasn't ready yet and I took it for granted. but sometimes we know we are ready just when we got it. I mean having baby has no theory. it could be learned of course but having and learning is far different..

you're so true then..but we should exclude people who live in a poverty condition such as in some parts of India, the girls are forced to get married at very young age. and they have babies at very young age too. it's so horrible. back to our discussion, you're right that someone who has got married should prepare themselves to face pregnancy cos pregnancy is the logic event of a marriage. so they will get pregnant sooner or later (of course women with problems are excluded). a new mother should learn everything related with pregnancy, not only about how to take care of newborn baby but also how to treat themselves after delivering baby. it's important to avoid them having bad baby blue syndrome. so, I do agree with you that women should prepare themselves before having baby. it's one of proves they responsible to their own life and their baby life. but, do you know what is the indicator for woman, they are ready to be a mother or not? :)

Finding out whether or not you will be a good parent is FAR more important than buying the right motorbike! I find it shameful that people will put more thought into purchasing an inanimate object than into creating a new life, which is a whole separate person with thoughts and feelings. A child needs love and affection, demonstrated in certain ways, to grow up to be a happy and productive member of society. Having a child before you know if you even like children is quite irresponsible. As a species we have moved beyond having children automatically simply because it fulfills a biological urge to perpetuate our genes. If you don't know how to take care of a motorbike, it does not spend its whole life suffering! Yes, you can learn how to raise children and parent them successfully by being exposed to many different children of all ages, abilities, and temperments. Not everyone will be a teacher or coach who is exposed to thousands of different children, but surely it is not too much to ask that you at least babysit some other children for a few hours at a time so that you understand how children feel and think before you have one of your own? Why should a vulnerable human being who does not understand suffer as you "learn on the job"? Sometimes pregnancies occur by accident. In which case the parents still have several months to get used to children before their own arrives. And minding other people's children is a good way to earn a little extra money! Really, there is no reason to be unprepared for a child.

what about yourself, April..which one do you want to belong: having baby or not having baby? or maybe you have already had a baby today? yeah, you're right about reasons why people decided to or not to have a baby. there are so many types of people around the world, this couple really want a baby but in the other side of world there's a couple who decided to do abortion cos they think they are not ready yet to be parents. the world is so dynamic with people's attitude and desires..

I do agree with your saying. frankly speaking, first time I knew that I was pregnant, I was little confused and didn't know what to do. I was not a baby lover and I didn't know at all how to take care of baby. but my husband kept supporting me. and now, I feel so blessed God gave me a baby 4 years ago.. so what do think about woman who decides not to have baby during her life? what is the big reason of this decision?

life is a cycle..we were born so we will bear a baby. it's a kind of natural process. one lesson I got when I raise my baby: I respect my parents (especially my mother) more than before. by having pregnant, delivering and now raising a baby, I could know how hard to be a mother is! sometimes I treat my mother bad but now I realize how hard she delivered me and raised me. having baby is such a great life lesson for me. I thank to God for giving the chance of being a mother. it's awesome..:)

sure you're right about all of those. my religion taught the followers not to have children before married. I think this has two advantages: first, by marriage, couple could be ready to plan their further life whether they want to have baby soon or delayed for a while. we can also make planning about the financial in facing newborn baby. you can imagine if you have baby before getting married a.k.a you have baby because of unwanted pregnancy. it must be terrible, rite? secondly, by marriage, baby will get obvious status, who is his/her mother, father, and all family relatives. marriage saves us from incest may happened in the future. so before deciding to have or not to have baby, it's better to get married first..

I agree with you, Emine..I have a four years old daughter. ya, it's really hard raising a baby cos we want the best for them and it doesn't run easily. they are so naughty and very annoying sometimes, but they bring joy and happiness more than the messy they cause. maybe I am so busy raising a baby, but I never regret having her..

I have same idea with you, Msrema..I think what makes the world brighter is children..the house which is empty and gloomy will be directly cheered by the birth of a baby. then the house will be crowded, full of baby crying everyday. it sounds do 'alive'..though I respect to people's decision not to have a baby but I still wonder whether they don't want to feel the happiness brought by the birth of baby?

moreover, children would take care of their parents when their parents go older. sometimes it's not always good living in a nursing home when we go old but living surrounded by our own children will make us safer and more comfortable. so we can imagine for a couple who don't have baby till they're old, with whom they will spend rest of their life? maybe they will pay someone to take care of them but I'm sure that somebody else couldn't treat parents as well as children do. so i feel so blessed when having a baby..:)

it's great reading your response. I really like the sentence "...we know we could get through together"..ya, I do have belief like it too. just for your information, I married my husband when he was still unemployment. actually we didn't want to get married that soon, we did it so cos our parents pushed us to do so. and I was pregnant when our marriage lasted for two months. you can imagine how confused we were at that time. but I believed, in the name of my God, that we could got through all of the obstacles together by the help of the God. today, my baby has been 4 years old. she is beautiful, healthy and adorable..:)

hi, Adhyz..it's good for you if you have that opinion cos not all men having that spirit.. I ever read a true story about the reluctance of having baby. they said that having baby just make them busy and lose their fun time. I myself have a friend who delayed having baby for about five years cos her husband doesn't want to have a baby! I think it's a ridiculous thought cos having baby will make you learn how a real life is. you should responsible for something important throughout your life. and it's amazing, I think. but what can I say, every person has their own opinion rite? BTW, why don't you get married soon? LOL