Does helping others really give you happiness if other doesn't appreciate it

Though our moral books may say that helping people is a great virtue, I don’t always think so. Helping others can be at various levels…you can just help a stranger on the road with an information or direction…harmless helps that don’t affect you at all. You can help colleagues at office and be known to all as the person on whom all work can be dumped. You can help friends with suggestions and money and lose all hope of ever recovering that cash and be known as meddlesome; on top of that. You can also help family members without any expectation of gratitude. So all in all, I’m rather against helping people…at least the stranger type is OK, but nothing more than that. However, within the family you cant really stay without helping each other, so while doing so, I always do it because my own heart says so and not because somebody has pressurized me to do so or because others will appreciate me. expecting appreciation always leaves a bitter taste as people rarely appreciate others…so if you have to help, do so without any expectation.

Good topic for discussion and I am sure you are going to get a few idealistic responses. Vikku ! You are very young and try and learn to say "no" where it really has to be said. Some poeple are totally self-centred, selfish to the exclusion of anything else and these people always accept whatever you give with an attitude of entitlement. THis really hurts us when we have given our precious time and effort and that which could have been effectively uised by our own selves for some other purpose. You have to learn to identify such people, make things clear from the start and not be afraid of losing a relationship or friendship. Some would even 'densely'[deliberately] not understand thatyou are giving your time and thereby refusing to do something. Be very careful with these people and say 'no' right at the start or else let your action speak louder than words; do not take up their work. Finally, it would all be your own fault in their words too if you do not refuse initially.They would have no qualms saying "WHy did you not tell me? I would have made alternate arrangement if ou had clearly said so."

Hello Vikku, First of all congrats for reaching 100 points in mylot and you have a 9 star with reputation of 90 which is very good as a beginner. Regarding the topic, I can guess the situation; since you have lot of works you can’t find any pleasure to help others by ignoring your works. I think you can politely say ‘no’ to them instead of getting frustrated. Tell them I will help you once I finish my works. I think they can understand your situation.

If I help someone I feel good about myself. If they do not appreciate what I have done for them it can aggravate me a little, but I just have to keep telling myself that hey at least I tried and I feel good about myself because I did it.

It depends whether you're helping for thanks or helping and expecting nothing in return. True altruism - helping without expecting anything at all in return - is extremely rare, though it does exist. Personally, I don't mind if they don't thank me. Sometimes, I'll even do things anonymously to avoid the thanks. Other times it's really nice to be thanked and appreciated. I guess it depends on how I'm feeling that day and how much it cost me to help them (in time, effort, money, whatever). If it was a big effort for me, thanks is mandatory.

hi vikku! it is always pleasing to be helping others and it's much pleasing if your efforts are being seen and are appreciated. i share the same feeling with you sometimes if a friend would ask me to help them i couldn't say no that's why i end up doing a lot of things both for myself and for my friends. but i have realized that it is wrong that i load myself with works and would not have anytime to rest so that's why i started to say no to some friends when i feel exhausted and i feel i cannot accomplish the task at first they would feel bad but if you tell them your reasons if they are true friends then they would understand you.

I think that you can be happy to a certain extent, however you might also be a little bit frustrated at the same time if the person who you helped didn't thank you for it. I think that you have to be sure whether the person realises just how much you've helped them. Sometimes, you will find that people are just a little bit embarrassed about needing the help in the first place, so they won't thank you for it, but that doesn't mean that they don't appreciate it. They just don't want to draw attention to the fact that they need help at the moment.

Some of my friends will only call me if they ask something from me, like if they don't have the money, or they need a shoulder to cry on, bored, no one to speak with, or if they want to go somewhere else and they want somebody to accompany them...and I, stupid as I can be, also allow them to, even if I know that they only call me if they want something from me, otherwise, they don't even care to call if they're in their happy moments. So sad but true.

There are a lot of sorry b*stards in this world that just don't know when to be thankfull, in that case we will feel a lot of happiness yet because we'll feel proud with ourselvs and in the future (karma really exists) someone will come unexpected and help us too! It happened to me so many times, someone, a stranger would give me exactly what I gave so long ago you know. I've never been abandoned in difficult times, but I'm not lucky, it's that I done things for others and after turning 21 it seems it begun to come back to me. I never did it for this reason, I just couldn't let go but now I know another advantage in trying to help: you get it all back :D I've seen many people get back what they done of horrible too. In that case what I try to not do is to be happy, I'm sure to be happy with people's disgrace can shadow a heart. Have a very nice day.

I use to feel bad whenever I turned people down when they need help but as I go older sometimes there has to be a balance between doing good to others while not driving yourself to tiredness physically. Sometimes to help ourselves we must learn to say NO. Anyways I do help others whenever I can but the first help that I need to give is to myself. If I am happy and contented then I will likely do more good than when I am tired and not feeling up to it.

I know exactly the way you feel. That has happened to me on numerous occassions with a co-worker of mine. Several times I have assisted this person on numerous projects so that they it can be done on a timely manner and only once has that individual recognized it and thanked me for it. At first it did kind of bother me, but after realizing it, the sense of satisfaction of helping them out and knowing that our supervisor actually recognized the fact that I did assist and recognized it, give me a sense of satisfaction.

Hi! I do like to help others if I am able because I do like to make a difference if at all possible. You really do have to listen to the other person/group and see how you can be of effective help. With any luck, you'll have the connections and the persistence to help the way it is needed. There are people who just don't want the help for whatever reason and that is always a hard lesson to learn. For those that aren't happy with the effort you put into it, I try to think I did all that I could the best way I know how so if you're ungrateful, that's your problem, not mine. Some people are just miserable--don't let it affect you. Good that you're helping and I hope that someone will help you. :-)

If I am helping without wanting any appreciation, then I will still feel happy for being able to help. However, if the person that I have helped openly told another person (other people) sth bad about me, whether it pertains to the help that I have offered or not, I will be mad. I have personally come across someone like that. What's worse is that I have helped this person twice and instead of being grateful, he went around complaining about(and speaking ill of) me. So, I would rather help a total stranger than someone I know.

Yeah when you help other people, we don't want them to response what we've supposed to be. In helping its our free will to help. we help because we wanted to help them, without benefits of the doubts.

Hi vikku! Indeed, it would be disappointing that the person you helped did not appreciate your effort. And it's more disappointing because you went out of your way just to help that person. I would feel the same way. It would feel like it was a waste of time to help that person if he or she did not show some appreciation. I might even think not to help that person anymore next time he or she asks for help. But hey, when we help we don't expect anything in return. We do it in good nature. But then again, it's not right that we let other people abuse our good nature. So I guess, it's okay to refuse once in a while.

Honestly, it will not make me happy if they do not appreciate it, in fact I will feel bad for myself and for them because it is not everyday that you meet a person that will help you. If you are very choosy about that and you always want good things happen to you, good things you have to received, then that is not the real face of life. There are people that are willing to help in little ways they can so the other people should be thankful if they received a help. On the other hand, I do not help someone if I cannot help them. I refuse to help not that I do not want to help but I cannot give help as I am in need too, but there are just times not that always. That is the reason when someone help me, I appreciate it regardless they are happy to help me or not.

If you do good for others, then it would be up to you to experience whether or not it has given you happiness - regardless of whether others appreciate it or not. Many people help animals who cannot communicate, and some help animals that are so dangerous that would eat them if they had half the chance. I don't think that they would do this if they didn't feel happy doing it. Or maybe I'm wrong. _Derek

I get a lot of satisfaction helping others and earlier it used to upset me if that was not recognised. But I have realised that the joy one gets to see someone happy is far greater than the recognition that is absent.

in my case i wont feel much...because i feel proud for my activity which is done to that person...on one side even if hurts i feel encouraging on the other side..

Well,if you help other's it is a pleasure to you ,and also you want to see them that they are happy.. Now,if you see that the person not happy, am sure you wonder it and also why not happy even you did help..And maybe the person is not satisfied, or not good mood or maybe there is is other problems.. well,as long as you help the person heartily,you should not worry..