i dont regret hacking his email, but i regret having him as my boyfriend
By myonlinejobs
@myonlinejobs (29)
Philippines
September 23, 2011 12:23am CST
i decided to end it with my boyfriend, on my part, but we never had the chance to talk about it for real. well, we're miles apart. our last phone call was barely a month ago and all he ever did was yell at me and blame me and point out the littlest things he can to make me feel like i made the relationship and myself really miserable- when in fact, God knows i did not and i did every bit i can to make everything work. so all i did the whole conversation was silently cry and spoke softly 'ok' and 'im sorry' a lot of times. i cant explain nor argue a lot, i let him do the talking, i dont want him hearing me crying. that was it.
i sent him an email days before my birthday telling him it's over. he never replied back and it was a big wonder for me. by chance, by luck, or whatever destiny brought me, i tried getting in to his email... unexpectedly, i got in...he never had the chance to open my email, it was there unread. surprised, i saw a lot emails to and from different women. major surprise of all surprises, there they were, emails from another girlfriend. intimate emails,at that. all were on the same year i thought we were so together. all were on the same year when i was sacrificing in silence. and another girlfriend on the same year we were on, and with the same endearment as he has for me... how good can things get?
when you've gone through a whole year of heartbreaks and bitter moments with someone you trusted your heart and life with, you cant just ignore the idea of doing some things unusual to get back at him. i know it sounds silly, and i admit i feel really bitter, and i know too well evading of privacy is quite an issue here but what the hell?!
im not sure how to get over what happened. i mean i wont look back having done the email thing but i regret deeply accepting him in my life. i wont cry now, not a bit.he doesnt deserve any of it. but the thought of trusting another man is remotely possible for the next months, maybe even years...
1 person likes this
7 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
You are a strong woman. There are a lot of crappy men out there, really. They would do everything in their power to hurt us, trusting women.
We will feel the hurt, we will never ever be free fromit if we keep repeating the wrong things we see, the treachery, the lies, the silence, the things that was put on us to bear while in the relationship.. and then this... hurt, pains.. haaay sometimes we should just tell ourselves that its over and we should move on... at least try really hard to move on and do everything to help us stand up again.
Make them, him see that he's lost you.. he should be on his knees begging for you to return to him - but don't. Make him feel sorry... He should be sorry and not you.
1 person likes this
@myonlinejobs (29)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
i dont need him to feel sorry. i dont think i can stand speaking with him or even seeing him. in fact, i dont care at all... i cant actually believe im feeling this but i guess anger and regret is what i strongly feel now. i remember even crying and feeling sad days before i saw all these emails.
i really wanted to get back at him but my friend told me to not waste my time on things unimportant. i dont know, i feel blank.
1 person likes this
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
on one hand, you should have just changed the password and never speak with him again. on the other hand, just leave him and don't bother yourself getting in contact with him ever again. let things happen on its own. but just prepare yourself from whatever that can possibly happen. and don't lose your sanity. you have always been on the good side. you don't have to be sorry for doing that to his email.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
You just did the right thing , my friend. God really did help you solve that problem on your own. Thus, your silent suffering of the way your boyfriend treated you has ended. 
The fact that he is that way with you, yelling and blaming you, when in fact you haven't done anything that could actually make him angry, is one way of telling if the guy isn't that in love with you. I am sorry, but that's my evaluation of him even before you have fully narrated catching those emails revealing another girl.
You deserve a better man my friend, and you are right, he doesn't deserve a single drop of your tear. Socialize and forget him. Hate him, so the breakup will not hurt you anymore. 
The fact that he is that way with you, yelling and blaming you, when in fact you haven't done anything that could actually make him angry, is one way of telling if the guy isn't that in love with you. I am sorry, but that's my evaluation of him even before you have fully narrated catching those emails revealing another girl.
You deserve a better man my friend, and you are right, he doesn't deserve a single drop of your tear. Socialize and forget him. Hate him, so the breakup will not hurt you anymore. @chiumee (850)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
i agree. it's about getting a way to stop your pains. so you should be able to breath freely now. enjoy. you are no longer connected with him. in fact, he kept you as his girl because he wanted to have a comfort zone whatever happens with his other girls. that he will still have someone to go to if he gets in trouble with his others. be careful. don't be fooled with his words next time. just as how he is fooling his other girls.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
24 Sep 11
I totally agree with you too chiumee. Men like that doesn't deserve a girl who loves him so much. 
@myonlinejobs (29)
• Philippines
24 Sep 11
hi SimplyD,
i read earlier in one of yahoo's articles that the degree of belief in God is relatively significant to how effective one's gut feel is. i really believe so. i guess one thing that brought me the idea of getting in to his email is my strong doubt and the instinct that something is terribly wrong. and i was right all along.
im not sure if i can handle socializing for now, i really feel bad about what happened but i think moving on is easier because 95% of my feeling is anger and hatred.
what makes it hard for me now is where do i move on from here... it's harder especially if you had your plans and your dreams built around him, if you did everything sincerely and with all honesty only to find out you were being played. it was emotionally and spiritually draining. getting back to zero is like having to reset my life over. thank you so much for the encouragement :) at least i know im on the right track now
@asweetie (1187)
• India
26 Dec 12
Hi myonline jobs,
I am really surprised how you got hold of his email account password. I have bene in relationship with probably one of the shyiest guy in world in front of girls and yet I never had courage to ask for his password, not that i doubt him but I just want it. About your bf well cyber love is supposed to throw up the cheaters who play with heart of the lover. one of my friend had his heart broken because after three years of cyber relationship girl threw him out of his life because she didnt want boy from another religion and her friends didnt like him, a fact she knew from start.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
23 Sep 11
Hello sweetie.
I am going to behave myself while responding.
First of all, you are right, that one don't deserve one tear coming from you.
Secondly, the way he treated you is disgusting.
No offense, but you should have left him the first time he talked to you like that.
Anyway, i am glad you left him, and that you hacked his account, so you could see for yourself what kind he really is.
No worries though, his day will come and he will regret ever treating another person like this.
You will be just fine, i know that.
@myonlinejobs (29)
• Philippines
24 Sep 11
hello saphrina :)
why do you have to behave yourself in responding? is there anything blunt i need to hear about? you can tell... i wont feel bad, promise :)
looking back, you're right, i know i should have left him the very first time he spoke to me in a harsh manner. but what can a blinded, madly in love young woman do? i gave him all the chances in the world. and now this...
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
24 Sep 11
Sweetie, i hate it when men treat women that way.
I can swear like a damn sailor and i was told it's bad manners.
I didn't want to be to blunt to hurt your feelings, that would not do at all.
I am just glad you are rid of that one though.
And yes, love makes us blind for a lot of things, but we always have to keep our wits in relationships.
Move on and enjoy your life.
The right one will come around eventually.
@best2011 (210)
•
23 Sep 11
no problem dont be sad stud .. its better that you have known him better before you have married .. sometimes such incidents happens in the life for your own betterment so never lose hope and you might get a very good husband.boyfriend .. this is the part of the nature .. we get hurt etc .. so come on start the new life
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
true. good thing you didn't get married yet. what more will you get if you do. thanks God you found him lying all this time. relax.change his password, do what you want to those other girls but don't give them messages that will let them know about you and later on tell your bf what happened to his account. definitely, he will get back at you as well. be careful.
@myonlinejobs (29)
• Philippines
24 Sep 11
hi best2011, i learned a great deal from what happened. i can say im a whole lot wiser now; it's a big turning point for me.
hi chiumee,
first off, you have a lot of ideas, i really wished you had your own comment box.hehe anyway, thank you so much for your input.
funny you knew exactly what i was gona do after i found the emails. i took everything into account like changed his password, change all details and stuff like that so no worries. then i sent a message to the other girl already but it was never meant to argue with her, it was mainly to warn her and at the same time help her learn the truth, if in case she doesnt know there were two of us. i never introduced myself to her so there's no way im gona mess her or even my life. i think im gona have to stop with the sending the girl a message. i wana move on with my life and i dont mean to cause trouble although admittedly at first i really want to get back at him. i feel so bitter but i have to be more positive and just start forgetting about him.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
6 Jan 13
Hi friend, sad to hear about your situation. it is really hard to tolerate such kind of betraying activities. Luckily, you find his real face in the end. As you mentioned he is having contact with lot of women's on the same year, it is really a great cheating activity. Just forget about him fully and divert your thoughts.
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
Hi,
You did the right thing to end your relationship with him, he doesn't deserve your affection and you love. Enough of reading all the message on his email, you just hurts your feelings. Just be thankful that you did not end up together, and you just found out how he unfaithful he was when you were together. Be strong and hold on to the Lord, he will guide you to be with the best man that you can have afterwards when you finally move on..
