How do you deal with the death of a dear one
By albto_568
@albto_568 (1268)
Costa Rica
September 23, 2011 4:57pm CST
After a long fight with cancer, my dear brother died, some months ago, after all this time, and in spite of it, I feel still the big hole, he left in my life, since we were so close. I don´t know how to explain this, or how will it sounds, but, right after his death, things were a bit easier than today, maybe, after seeing how dificult and painful were those last days, or the shock of the death, I don´t know, the feelings in the early days were more of relief, but right now, the void that he has left is more deep.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@HellsButcher27 (473)
• United States
24 Sep 11
I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I kinda know how you feel..I had a best friend and we were really close, He took his life in 2007 and I'm still not over it. Sometimes I wonder how to deal with it, I just think to myself that he wouldn't want me to be sad. He would want me to be happy and just remember the good times we had together.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
25 Sep 11
I am sorry for your lost, I guess that you and your friend were very close, perhaps like brothers, so, I can understand you. I understand your sorrow, maybe some good things have happened in your life in all this time, and you have wish your friend to be there to share them with him, it happened to me, a couple of times, although I only lost my brother a few months ago. We have to remember only the good things, you are right about it.
@HellsButcher27 (473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
Yes, I wish he was here to share my good times with. I have had good things happen since then and I would love to have shared them with him but I can't. I am getting married soon and I wish he could have been here so he would get to be my best man. The pain I have over the loss of him is deep and I will never forget him, but we can't dwell on the past and all the sadness. We must live on in their name and let them be proud of us through the memories that we have of them. I know your loss has hurt you greatly but please remember, A loss can bring us to a point where we don't care but it is up to us to remain caring. I wish you the best and I hope you will find peace in the passing of your brother, though it may take some time.
@best2011 (210)
•
24 Sep 11
i feel so sad after listeneing your story .. really it is the most tough when you lost dear members of your family ... you dont know what to do ?? you dont what will happen next .. so, but the only good thing which you can do for your brother is that you should pray from him .. and become a little bit religious because i observed it that you will get peace as well as your brither's soul will be in peace ..
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
25 Sep 11
Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it. I know for faith, that he is already in a better place, near God, and, yes, faith gives peace, even in this hard moments, although it is hard to leave the sorrow behind, and carry on with the life.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
23 Sep 11
First of all, I am sorry to hear about your brother. I think that you have to remember that everybody deals with grief differently and that you should never feel guilty about the way that you deal with it. Some people find it helpful to talk to others, but other people might prefer to grieve in their own space and time. Some people like to surround themselves with friends, family and photos of their lost loved one, however others prefer to try to carry on with their life as normally as they possibly can given the circumstances.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
25 Sep 11
First of all, let me tell you that I appreciate your condolences, it mean a lot for me, and, yes, we all have diferent ways to deal with grief, sometimes it is dificult to remember, specially when you realize that your beloved one has gone forever, we have to go on with our lives, and let the time slowly heal the wounds, thank you very much for your reply.
@rqlutz (59)
• India
23 Sep 11
sorry for the loss of your brother and i understand how you feel. It is very hard to get over the person you were close to. You should take your time and remember the good old memories with your brother and know that your brother is in perfect place and he is always watching over you. He would always be there with you and you will fill it.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
25 Sep 11
Thank you very much for your reply and nice words, although I know and understand what you say, it is still hard to carry on. The closer the person one loose, the bigger the void he/she lefts in our live. But I always remember the good moments we had together. Thanks again, God bless you.
@wangbizhi220 (1)
• China
24 Sep 11
I'm sorry to hear that.I can understand your feelings. My grandfather left me when I was in high school.During the period he is seriously ill, I would call my grandmother at noon everyday to make sure he is alright. On that day, after I asked the question about how was my grandfather again, I got no response... I dropped the phone and kept crying on the street loudly, couldn't believe that he had left. It was really a nightmare for me.
My mother came to school to pick me up to go to see my grandfather. She told me not to cry because grandfather would not want me to be sad. She said in some degree, it may be a good thing for him because he would not suffer from illness anymore.
I think your brother also want you to be happy. Heaven is a place nearby, he would company you in your heart.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
25 Sep 11
Thank you for your words, I understand your feelings when your grandfather passed away, obviously, you loved him very much, and it was a big loss. Your grandmother was right, in this situations we have a mixture of sensations, at one hand, we feel some sort of relieve, since our beloved one has stoped suffering, and at the same time, we feel a terrible grieve, for we have loose him/her, of our lives.
