"oh I wrote a great discussion, or did I?"

A good, well timed, kick up the backside never hurt anyone. But only when it is deserved.

As long as no names are mentioned, no rules are broken. That is how mylot rules interpret it. But it is not a licence for us to write a 'great' discussion about members here. In the spirit of mylot that encourages global friendships through discussions we should not take advantage of the leniency to write something that may jeopardise goodwill which has long existed in mylot. We are no better individuals ourselves and why paint ugly picture on others. Our creative juices are not short of good topics to post instead of making someone a scapegoat in a discussion.

It is not against the rules, but it goes along with different personalities. I probably know which discussion you are talking about. I will say that you need to ignore it. It is something that I would not do but I have been tempted. There have been a few members (not you) I would like to say something about from time to time, but I refrain. I drop them from my friend list then I do not need to see what they are saying. No one makes me read their stuff. I do not know if this makes you feel any better or not. I kinda know where each of you are coming from.

If another Lotter starts a topic which is pointing to another Lotter, then those of us who are regulars will see it and realise who is the victim. If I see it, and the victim is a friend then I will respond but I would never start a similar topic. If I have a bone to pick with someone then I don't make a public issue of it. Come to think of it, I don't pick bones as there is a place for everyone and everyone has a right to their own opinions. If some of them get their kicks out of starting topics related to other incidents then that doesn't say much for their originality does it?

I agree with you Hatley. Even a thinly veiled zinger can hurt someone and I don’t believe it is morally right to do that to another person even if the rules allowed it. I don’t think My Lot is not a place for negativity towards one another so why spoil our experiences here?

Personally I would not start a "thinly Veiled Zinger" type discussion. I come here for enjoyment and would not want to be part of personal innuendo type discussions. I find it quite challenging form time to time with the several who have difficulty with the English language to even fathom jabbing at anyone. I do try to state my point but never forget to be polite in the process. I realize not everyone is the same but as long as I remain me I feel very happy and satisfied to be here. There are some discussions, response, comments that leave me in amazement, but I don't take part as I feel to each his/her own.

Hatley!If a discussion has a thinly veiled sarcastic hint it is uncalled for. However, if it were done deliberately then the person may not change. People who make snide comments would continue to do so and call anotehr person too sensitive and that the other person is misinterpreting things. I have seen such people in the real world. I honestly do not know how to deal with them and would like to keep away from these people. WHen I have to interact with such people compulsorly it becomes a problem. Now I am talking about the real world-- when these people converse directly, there are many times they seem genuine. They have no control over their tongue and have a warped sense of humour too. At other times they are all sweeeeet . I am unable to figure them out. What would be your experienced viewpoint regarding this and how would you handle them?

I wouldn't do that, but then I have issues about hurting other peoples feelings. I guess we are all able to post what ever we like here so long as we don't break the rules. So I guess it would be up to each individual. Maybe base the decision on a person moral code of ethics. Some would have no problem, others would have a problem, and still some wouldn't even realize that it was directed at a certain member cause they don't read the entire discussion. I'm assuming this is hypothetically speaking? Has some one pushed your buttons?

There is still a high chance it will be deleted by the admin. But it seems they overlook some of these sometimes. There are probably more than one person making the decision to delete or not and may be some of them are more lenient than others.

You know, I make little "zings" at some, but only if I know they can take it, because you get someone who is thinned-skinned, you might see a flaming war before you know it..

It takes a bit of reading between the lines to realize that there are some posts that are meant to be a zinger. Some are a bit too obvious some are too subtle for most readers to realize its purpose. However, it is up to the person being zinged if he's too sensitive to call the attention of the poster or report the said discussion for deletion. I think a lot who will recognize that a discussion was meant to zing someone would rather keep it to himself and respond to the discussion and would just pass it off as nothing. The main reason why I think someone would zing another person here is that for some reasons that person was offended by the content of someone else's discussion. There are also those that would like to post zinger answers to discussions for no reason at all. Bottom line is there's just no way to please everyone.

Oh dear! I read this discussion and I was asking myself "do others think that I do this?" But, I hope not. I am pretty strong in my opinions and beliefs. Some times I have pretty strong disagreements with people. Anyway - while I may rant about some things I think are pretty ridiculous - I don't mean anybody any harm. I just hope to make my opinions pointed enough to be seriously contemplated - even if the person doesn't adopt my belief on a particular matter. I hope that nobody takes anything in my 'challenging' personally. I would never try to hurt someone.

Hello Mrs Hatley, If a discussion is based on someone and is sarcastically pin pointing him/her then i don't think it to be great discussion. But people do that in order to make discussion but i don't like it even if any such discussion points towards me i will be hurt too much from it.So people should understand it that we are here for fun not to make fun of someone.

Perhaps it rests with the word sarcastic. If it is a comment that is suppose to be a friendly joke, there is a danger that it can be interrupted wrongly. Sarcastic humour sometimes be meant to be funny but then not be funny to anyone else other than the person that wrote it. If that is the case an apology is in order I think. If it was me, I would apologize if someone got hurt but then the person offended would have to let the other know. On the other hand, if there is a real problem why not just voice it? Anything that is a problem for me, I do not send zingers or hints I am open about it and just tell the person directly but as politely as possible. I think that is better than playing some beating around the bush game. Maybe, make friends and send a private message though rather then put it in a discussion? If it is not important just forget it.

I've seen a few of these but because myLot is such a big place I had no idea who they were talking about. I usually pass up those posts because I don't want to participate in a vendetta. If it was about one of my friends I would naturally defend them, though.

Hm, *scans responses for clues to the identities of the people involved* No gossip here, exit left.... Well seriously, yeah not, not nice, deal with your problems privately whoever you are!

Hello my friend Hatley, I don't know. sometimes i create a discussion if there's some one violating the rules or fooling around, but in the end it got deleted. that's why when ever there's a violation of some sort, i would just do my best to keep myself afloat in terms of reporting a violation. most specially if the discussion is already insulting me or some mylotters out there that are my friends.

Hi Hatley, Sometime, when people are angry or dissatisfied at something or at someone, they tend to find a way to hurt that person in any kind of way they can think of. Since it is in mylot, what they can do is only write something sarcastic and point it to someone they wanted to hurt their feeling. They just want to be psychologically comfort. There was a novel write about a character call "Ah Q", when someone bit him, he would say,"hey! why do you hit your father?" in that way, he will not feel too bad by taking advantage psychologically on that person even though he was beaten. That is what happen to the people who start a sarcastic discussion that pointed to someone.

I have to agree with you. What is the point of making a topic so "thinly vieled zinger" if they are going to affect other mylotters or hurt them in anyway. I don't think that why most of us joined mylot any how. At least I joined to be able to express my view without hurting or effecting anyone else. We are here to have fun and enjoy ourselves that's just my personal opinion.

I think I saw this discussion, but my senior memory can't seem to recall any of the specifics or who started it. I don't even know if I participated in it or not. I am way behind on my email notifications and am working backwards today, so I haven't seem many of yesterday's or the day before yesterday's discussions. I'm working backwards because then when I get to the discussions that are a few days old, I'm hoping that if they are violations they will already have been deleted. Also, if they are fairly new, I won't have as much to read before responding. I may still come upon this discussion if I haven't yet seen it, and my tendency would be not to participate in anything I recognized as a "zinger." It would seem too much like gossip to me and I don't want to participate in anything unkind. I definitely think such discussions have no place at mylot. I think I heard once that great minds discuss ideas, but small minds discuss people. I think that says it all.