Help me, my lawyer brother and family wants me out....
By wongchoiyee
@wongchoiyee (7413)
Malaysia
September 29, 2011 10:11am CST
I am feeling so bad now. I think I won't have a family in one to two months. Dad loves me from kid to teenager until I was 16, everything changed. He scold and don't give me face in front of my younger brother. Even now, after my brother become a lawyer he still supports my brother by giving him RM40 everyday. He is only giving me RM15 a day sometimes less. I am feeling unfair for about a decade until recently I can't tolerate when my brother brings her France girlfriend back and took my car which is given by my uncle. And just now he mentioned that the car that my brother drive previously has broke down and he pays RM1100 for it. He told me because I treat him as my son and I was hurt. Should I or not? He is my brother because he don't respect me at all for a long time. All mylotters should know I have a family problems but if I moved out, I am still thinking whether I can survive because I have depression and can't work full time, so I was thinking doing part time. I need my family support but today mom scold and treat me as a handicapped woman in front of all other people at the cinema. I can't stop crying thinking how bad my life is and I can't die because of this. I rather die but I am scared of pain and I think its wise but its stupid at the same time because my brother said "If I were you, I rather die than live in such a state" I am feeling no one to talk to as well as now my best friend went insane because of family problems too and she faces social challenges everyday. I cried thinking of her because her situation is the same as mine and I think I want to be buried beside my friend. She is the only one who will be what I thought in the past and it happen to her now. Next it could be me. I really have nowhere to go. I am headache and can't sleep now.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@henkiprananda (2729)
• Indonesia
29 Sep 11
it's so bad.
you must face your life. if you can't work at your hometown, try another town. if not, you won't able to cross your life.
became brave, that you need. independent life.
my life almost same with you. but my parents still love me, so i never get scold from them. but i can't life only get hope from my parent. i'll have my own family. so i decided to go to the city, and work.
don't just wait and hope. prove it, hard work.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
29 Sep 11
I know...but right now I really don't have money enough to move out and they keep pressing me everyday about my life especially my mom. I hate her now. Everyone in my family has changed and I cannot accept the fact that I am no longer have a family who trust and love me.
2 people like this
@henkiprananda (2729)
• Indonesia
30 Sep 11
oh, don't be like that. there is no parents hate their child. it just for a moment.
so, if you don't have enough money, better if you take a job first. don't be shy, don't be angry. don't hear what people said about you. they wasn't know much about you more than yourself. if you have enough money, go to other city.
be strong, cause big world more hard than you ever found.
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
29 Sep 11
Didn't you previously mention that you were very close to your brother? Did your family openly tell you to move out? If so, was there sth that triggered that?
Actually, you are fortunate in the sense that your father still gives you allowances. If I had a father like that, I wld feel really fortunate. I don't understand why your brother still accepts allowances from your father even tho' he is working as a lawyer. He shld be self-supportive already.
If your family is determined to force you to move out, then prove to them that you can survive on your own. Do you hv friends or relatives who cld provide temporary lodging? If no, then you hv no other choice but to start looking for a place, isn't it? Even if you hv friends or relatives who are willing to take you in, you can't possibly stay with them in the long-term, isn't it? Actually, it's time for you to be strong and not keep thinking that you can't survive on your own. It's a mental block that you need to overcome.
Assuming you only hv 2 choices: killing yourself and surviving on your own. Like you hv said, you are afraid of pain. What if you try to kill yourself but somehow still survive? You can't guarantee that you will definitely die when you take your own life. So, why not learn to be strong and learn to survive on your own?
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
I was previously close but not until a decade ago we get far from each other, not greeting each other and now he throws back what he lost last time.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 11
I was having a bad time last time, and these are the words he mentioned that he opens the door wide and want me out.
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
30 Sep 11
OIC...Maybe your parents didn't mean it when they said they wanted you to move out? What are your plans?
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 11
I feel very so sorry for you and think at the current time you are having a miserable time. I believe that your father is being very unfair and not treating his children equally. I think that is not your fault that you are depressed and think it is time you had some happiness and enjoyment in your life. I suggest that you find some part time work. Then you could save up some money in case they do make you move out.
I have a 16 year old son, a 4 year old disabled son and a 2 year old daughter. I like to treat each of them equally. I hope that you begin to get on better with your mom. Your brother sounds like a horrible person. I hope that you make some new friendships. You need to find some happy things in life and get some more hope for the future. Just imagine having enough money one day to move out and be happy on your own.
Good luck.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 11
I hope I can get better with my family one day. It doesn't matter if I will move out or getting settle somewhere I really want to reunited with them.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
Hi ChoiYee,
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
I think it is getting worst everyday. I just hope that you are strong enough to handle it. If I were you, I will try to keep silent and remain where I am no matter how they say, just ignore whatever they say and work toward your target until you success, and only when you making enough money, you will be able to fight back and do whatever you want, and you can live without them if you can earn enough money to support yourself.
Do not give up and be strong. The best thing to do now is to keep silent, the more you fight, the situation will be worst. What I can recommend you to do is to start your own business, the easiest one is to sell things at the night market (pasar malam).
My friend only selling shoes can earn up to few thousands a month. That is all I can think what you can do when you have very little money. Good luck!
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
Dear yspmyl,
I thought it could be better if I fight for my rights but I am wrong. Sometimes there is no chance at all, so the decision is to move out. I cannot do pasar malam unless someone is helping me. I think I should get some help later.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Oct 11
Fighting will only make the situation and relationship worst. But to move out is not really that easy, you have to pay for rental, water bills, electricity and also foods. You will have to spend at least RM500 to RM800 a month. So, if you can still stand, just keep silent and stay cool. When time goes by, they will accept the fact, that is what I believe.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 11
Dear yspmyl,
Yes I do believe like you said too. I will still stand and keep silent and stay cool. Let them accept the fact and one day I can go through the dilemma.
@francesca5 (1344)
•
29 Sep 11
hello wongchoiyee,
on another discussion a while ago you said that you had been bullied when you were at school, being bullied is a very distressing experience, and that might be the reason for your current depression. there is a lot of information on the internet or in books on the dealing with the aftermath of bullying, you could do some research, or better still get someone like a properly qualified counsellor to talk to about it.
that way you might then begin to feel better and be able to move on, as my feeling is that you feel like you are a burden on your parents, and it makes you unhappy, and so getting to the root of the problem might be the best way forward.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
29 Sep 11
Yes i am getting bullied at high school and now family problems arise. Seems that as age goes by there are a lot of test.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
Anxious? Maybe you are right and I also don't have self confidence anymore. I know it is important and I want to think it all over again what I need to do. It is self evaluation.
@francesca5 (1344)
•
29 Sep 11
when we have experiences like that it can make us anxious that we could find ourselves in the same situation again, and it could be why you haven't liked jobs much, i just think it might be worth thinking about wongchoiyee.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
mobi, I am also feeling sad but what to do? I hope it will gone away soon and we could have a good life soon.
@jonahh08 (261)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
All I can say is you better start planning your life outside your home. Leave the place if it's not doing any good to your emotional well being. Make a plan. Once you got it all figure out, leave. I advice you to work, make a living so you can support yourself. No one can help us better than ourselves.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
I am planning right now. It is driving me crazy at home. I am working right now to save some money to move out soon.
@cowgirl03051979 (918)
• United States
30 Sep 11
wow i really feel for you i think the best thing for you to do is to cut your losses and just leave your family behind i know it may be hard to at first and you will miss them but eventually you would be able to see just how bad and unfair you were treated and the feeling will go numb in your heart i do not have a good relationship with me family and i plan on leaving as soon as i can get the money saved up my family is not there for me or supportive and we argue alot so i stay out and gone as much as i can only comming home to sleep most of the time
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
I am sorry to hear that you are only coming back home to sleep rather than having a good time talking with your family and spending time watching tv. Your life is exactly like mine, I only lock myself at my room rather than going down the living room watching tv because i feel uncomfortable treated badly by my parents. I hope you will save enough money to move out some day and I wish you success in your life at your own someday.
@Omblues (94)
• India
30 Sep 11
It is very sad that your family is not supporting you,family plays an important role in everyone life that supports you in every bad situation but according to you,your family is making the situation more worst.Yeah it is really bad & untolerable.But Be strong,have patience & wait for good time.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
It can't be worst anymore because I am planning to live on my own someday. Right now, I am polishing my skills on how to interact with people and make good friends so that I can make a home somewhere outside with their help.
@carolin1e (97)
•
29 Sep 11
hi dear wongchoiyee!!!!
listen to me darling !! don't that much upset , because nobody'll feel what you acually feel buy YOU !!
so just wipe you tears , be strong by thinking of all the great thing that you can make in your life !!
you can work honey , maybe a small work , but it may help you to finance you studies (if you have) and have better work , meet your soolmate , have family and warm house :)
don(t be negative and let pain own you , we all have problems , i have maybe some good problems comparing it to you , but i always think about god , and i smile , because he is here with me and helping me !!
and for information , your family loves you , but at this recent time they are maybe amazed by your brother sucess , so make your own sucess and you'll see that they love you and respect you , just beleive in yourself ,, and moooooove don't wait for happyness coming to you , life dosen't wait for nobody :!!!!
so smile darling ,,,, SMILE , tomorrow will be better :)
have a nice day :)
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
Yes they are amazed absolutely and I am not envy at all, afterall this is what they are chasing ie. wealth. I don't like them anymore. You all are my best home here.
@aecb5365 (2)
• Mexico
30 Sep 11
Dear Wongchoiyee,
I am very sorry for your situation. Let me please a little tip. Read this book.
- The greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino
In my personal experience this book help me a lot.
Remember you are The Greatest miracle in the World!
Og Mandino has another excelents books that also they can help you.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
30 Sep 11
I don't read books especially books like these. Sorry I will check it out someday, thanks!
