why would you date this person

Two possible reasons come to mind: 1. Love is blind - when it hit, you just fall. So love with eyes open, wide opened. 2. Self-centredness - we think we are all powerful and can change the world, so we hope to change that person we love. Alas, we should have known better. We are only human. Why won't we try to find someone better? Again, we cannot tell ourselves we are WRONG even when it is so plain to everyone else we are just being silly. So we all pay the price in the end. It is the same for many things....sad...we are all alike.

As a fierce animal lover, why would you date someone who claimed to be allergic to cats? Had he actually been allergic, you would have had to get rid of your pets if your relationship had lasted longer. I've never been in a position where someone has tried to change me, it wouldn't work. I've never really tried to change anyone else either.

The only logical explanation is that most of us tend to look at the "whole package" or a the good 2 or 3 characteristics that we love about the person. As we fall in love, most of us never really give a thought as to the bad habits or traits that were there when we first saw the person. Then why do we stay? Human beings are NOT commodities. You don't choose a person you want to love based on a laundry list. You find someone who's a gem for you and love him for who he is. Also, change is very important. You both have to understand that in the quest for harmony in a relationship, y'all have to learn to put up with each other and love each other nonetheless. No ifs, no buts, no nothing. If there are things that are better off given up or improved, do it! If it saves your relationship, a little adjustment won't kill you. In fact, you may find that it's one of those things that will make life more worthwhile.

This is why we say that opposites attract. It would be boring to like almost the same thing in your partner. There may be things that you love and there are things that you don't like about them but loving is never an issue of having the same tastes. There is a saying that says when a man marries a woman he thinks she will never change( physically) and woman thinks that she can change him( habits).It is because men and women are as opposite as two planets can be.

That really makes sense, why go out with someone who is totally opposite to you? There's a high chance that you won't get along and the relationship won't work but if you really like that person, I guess you would attempt the risks in hope of changing that person. I have a friend who dated a guy who smoked and drink. Now she was a goodie and never drunk or smoked before and she's totally against the idea. She meant her boyfriend through another friend and they started to date. He warned her that she couldn't change him and that his smoking will disturb her but she told him she didn't mind it. After like 2 weeks, the relationship ended because she couldn't take it anymore and they had a fight about it. So if you really want to take your chances, go for it but for a more agreeable relationship go for someone who shares the same opinions as you do.

I think that at the moment you start dating a smoker there is someting else that you find attracting. And you hope that that person if he loves you too will quite smoking. That is the same with more habits or addictions. If it comes to character I think it's difficult to change a person if not impossible, esp. if it's a man. Weird thing is women do give up a lot of things they like and habits in the name of love. I would advice not to do that. Also.. if you really don't like a smoker (or something else) don't go for it, no matter if that guy is good looking or has humor. In the end that habit will kill you(r relationship). With some habits, tastes, believes you can live (or just ignore it and don't talk about it) with others you never will. So no matter what dr Phil or someone else says: make that list of what you don't like and do talk (email/chat) before you meet so you already know a lot about likes and dislikes. The great thing about the internet is you can be yourself. You have nothing to loose since you don't see that person and he can't embarrash or walk out of you in front of other people .

I have never really understood that and maybe that is part of why there are so many divorces in our society today. Too many people go so far as to get married when they really are not suited to each other. I suppose there is something that draws you to that person over the differences, but still I agree with you that it would be better to find someone that you are better matched with.