can you really be friends after being lovers?

Of course you can be friends. It's a choice you make. YOU make the choice to decide you are hurt badly and in terrible pain. YOU make the choice to go on and on feeling that pain. Your ex really doesn't have anything to do with how you decide to handle a situation. If you TRULY love someone, you want them to be happy whether they are with you or not. If you love yourself and have a healthy, mature attitude you will choose to be happy in life and not continually blame someone else because you choose to feel miserable. It's all about your choices and your attitude.

I don't know if a broken heart is a real feeling or just the outcome of a brainwash the society teach us all the time that it hearts if the partner does this and that... Ok , so , one of the partners broke the heart of the other partner. Does it physically prevents them from talking , hanging around and having fun in the future ? It is all a question of not being a slave to the feelings , it looks like the feelings own many people instead of the people own their feelings. It is all in the brain. Feelings are the outcome of thoughts. If one can controll his thoughts than why can't he just controll his feelings and just stay friends with the partner ?

Hi sharlene! I also think it's hard to be friends with an ex-lover. I, myself is not good friends with my exes although we are friends, but not that kind of friends who share secrets and who are comfortable with each other. I even feel awkwardness when I see them. Yeah, I guess it's probably the heartbreak after the breakup but I also think it's the times you shared, the things you told each other, all those moments make it hard to be friends with an ex-lover. Maybe we can be civil to them but I just don't think we can be good friends with them.

Well , It depends of how much pain, how much love and the circunstances of that relationship. But, in general I think that an 85% of couples are not friends because, everytime You see that person will reminds You the good or bad moments that You two had. For me, is better to stay away from this person , not too be enemies, but, can not be close friend.

Hello,i dont think we can be feiends with ex-lovers,just as you say ,when you see him or hear about him ,it bring the pain back ,it is hardly to face him.and the broken heart is hardly to heal.

I have an ex boyfriend. We end up our relationship because he got a new girlfriend and he cheated on me. Its really hard for me to forgive him but when the time pass i learn to forget all the things that he do to me. One day we saw each other in a mall where he work and he get my phone number. We started to become friends again and because we have a past it is not hard for us to be open in each other and then we become close friend.

for me yes it is possible, you can be friends but not great friends though. i have an ex, we were together for 2 years. He was friends with my friends so whenever there are occasions we see each other. However after break up we didn't see or talk for months. When we first saw each other after the break up, we talked about what happened and had closure. Make sure that the feelings are not there anymore, because if after all these years and you still feel the pain, it only means you have not totally moved on yet and not ready to be friends with him. it will be hard, but not impossible.

It is one tough thing to do... but it depends how you both have taken all the headache and heartaches. In the end it is best to forget and move on from your ex-lovers bodes well for one in the future, or might start going bonkers over him time and again.

Honesty it depends on how mature both party was in handling the situation. If the situation could be handled peacefully than I guess two person can still be friends after that breakup. But more often than not, we did not handle it too well and let it become a bad situation. Thinking back I thought I could handle some of my situation better.

good day, well you can be friends after being lovers. .but to my ex-lovers who give me a greatest heartbreaks its so hard to be friends with him . .especially if you hear about his name it bring backs all the pain . .its rally hard . .

well it depends.. when couples do have a bitter break up then maybe it would be hard. but if both had separated well then there is a great chance that they would be good friends. to let go of those bad feeling maybe one has to accept that once we love we are bound to get hurt. that's part of faling in love. we just accept that reality and maybe then moving on won't be hard.

I also think of that. Having him as a friend is so hurting. However, I think it is up to you or the both of you if you could really forget everything and start a new life as being friends. I also experienced this kind of feeling. And I don't know if we are still friends. However, he greeted me on my birthday. I also replied back. Then he again replied to my response. But I didn't respond again. I don't know why I did that. But for me, it's nothing. We're only friends.. friends as in friends AND NOT THAT CLOSE friends ANYMORE..

I'm one of those who believe that ex-lovers can never be friends. I don't know I just feel that when you break up with someone, you should try to stay away as much as possible. It helps you move on. I for one, never plans to be friends with my ex's. I am not bitter and I'm so over them already, but still, I don't like it when I see them somewhere. One of my ex's added me in facebook like 2 years after we broke up, but I rejected his request. I really don't feel like sharing my life with him anymore, even as friends.

yes we can. it depends on the ex lovers. There are so many cases of exes, if they wanted to be friends (surely they get awkward at first) etcetera etcetera. Sure it will hurt us deeply the question for that why did you break up if you love him very much that it truly hurt you. Is it because he/she don't love you back? or there is a problem that disturb you become lover? If you love him that much and he/she loves you back in return. Then why break up in every lovers there will be a challenge if they pass then there will be next.

It always takes time. Unfortunately, some people carry the hurt all throughout their lives that a breakup affects all other relationships that come after that. Only the people who have learned to forgive can manage being friends with an ex. I know some people who did but usually, their breakup wasn't very controversial or scandalous. It depends on the reason for the breakup.

After the break up,, the pain and hurt are still fresh, of course you didn't want to see him because he would just remind you of the good and bad times that you had together. For me it is possible to be friend with my ex-lover but it would take time before we end up in that part of relationship. I think if I am fully recovered and have a happy life, then that's the time I would only make friends with him.

I believe that lovers were friends before the intimate relationship. so I see no reason that lovers can't go back to being the friends they were once again. the relationship won't be the same one that it was before but it can become a new and stronger friendship because of what has been endured together.

I have an ex that is a family friend. Still see him at family occassions, while I am there with my husband and child, and he can still make me feel uncomfortable. He cheated on me, and somehow made me out to be the bad guy in the ending of the relationship, like I should have chosen him over my education.

You can be friends with your ex-lovers. It depends on how you end up your relationship. Well, it really depends on how people perceive things around them. Have a nice day:))

We are good friends with my ex right now, though there is still an awkward feeling between us. two lovers separates and then what comes next? Well i agree that its hard to make friends with an ex lover but for me its just sad to think that after all we have been through we end up as strangers. If thats the case its as if i have made an enemy and the hate and grudge is still there. Its important to put oneself back into pieces and move on in life after a heartbreaking experience coz this is justa challenge. Start a new life and forgive and forget the past. its hard to start a new life having hatred in your heart. So for me its better of friends than a stranger at all.