Children - The magical adhesive force of attachement of the family.

Sorry I have to disagree. The majority of arguments that me and my boyfriend ever have are either caused by or to do with his daughter. She is 21 but behaves like a 5 yeard old. She comes down to visit for days on end but just sits in a bedroom moaning that she is bored. She constantly calls me about how I look or things I do. She doesn't work as she was sacked and prior to this she was thrown out of university. She takes food and drink from the fridge without asking but denies it when you ask her. She pays nothing towards the electricity bill but switches the bedroom light on before it is dark, has a PC and computer on constantly. I'm out of work having been made redundant but I still pay the bills. She constantly lies to her Dad about everything and once stole £150 from his wallet that he was paying into the bank the following day. She listens into conversations when you walk upstairs you see her moving away from the bedroom door as she is constantly watching you. This childish, spoilt, ignorant behaviour causes an atmosphere at home and in turn many arguments between me and my boyfriend. I know you shouldn't hate people but it is very hard not to hate her as she really does affect our relationship and makes it very hard for us to have anytime together. For example, my boyfriend works nights four nights a week so I only have 3 days when I really get to spend time with him. This then becomes one day as she comes down generally for 2 of the days he doesn't work and 2 of the days he does. So no, children do not always help

I think you are correct. Having a child somehow has an effect with the attachment of the family. Some of my friends are just staying with their husband because of their childrens. Even though they are being hurt emotionally and physically. My friends are still positive that one day their family will still be united as one.

As with the other responses already appearing, I do not agree with the original poster's opinion on children. Couples who are in a difficult relationship should never view having a child as a way to "bring them closer together." That will not happen. Having a baby is a stressful time. Adults are getting much less sleep, they have less time to themselves, less time to communicate effectively and a relationship that was strained to begin with is likely to suffer further. Plus, the burden of maintaining a sound relationship, resolving issues and such should never fall to the presence of a child -- it is separate and distinct. Having children will not be a "magical adhesive force" in any relationship... it may simply be what drives the husband and wife farther apart. Or, on the flip side, they may end up "staying together for the children" -- another premise with which I completely disagree.

I think you couldn't be more wrong. There is nothing magical or adhesive about having children. Raising children is HARD and puts a serious strain on the parents emotionally and financially. If the relationship is already rocky due to ego trips or differing values, having children will only make it WORSE. And for that matter, not everyone HAS to have children. There are PLENTY of couples who never want and never have any children and have beautiful lives together. The idea that children are required for happiness is just absurd to me. Furthermore, nature didn't manifest children to bring peace to society. The act of procreation necessitated the presence of a society. Human offspring are among some of the slowest maturing offspring in nature. So in the wild, people had to come together to see to the care of the offspring into adulthood.

Children have to be brought up well.When the parents age the children who are older and well adjusted will then ensure that minor differences between parents are smoothed out with their loving intervention.Parents will see reason when their children appeal to their better sense.So i feel the love affection we bestow on our children comes back to us and helps in maintaining an amicable marriage.