Hanging onto to a friend...
By becks_072323
@becks_072323 (7)
United States
October 4, 2011 9:34pm CST
I have not treated one of my friends fairly in the past year;
and I wanna repay that by being very nice, tolerable and taking trash from that friend.
Do you think its worth hanging onto someone like that that just treats you like trash and doesn't give a damn about anything that you have to say, or do I just consider that as "what goes round comes round"?
1 person likes this
1 response
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
5 Oct 11
Cld it be that you had hurt your friend (too) deeply? Or cld it be that she was trying to take revenge? I was just thinking aloud and so hopefully, I didn't offend you.
Our perceptions may differ from others' perceptions. To you, you might hv viewed the way you'd treated your friend as just somewhat unfair. But your friend might feel that the way you'd treated her was very bad.
If you value this friend of yours, then you might want to hang on. However, I think it might be better for you to let your friend know how you feel rather than just putting up with her 'cold treatment', etc.
@becks_072323 (7)
• United States
5 Oct 11
its difficult to explain 'unfairness' in my case...
it was somewhat just ignorance towards that friend in order to be with another friend...
I was in a dilemma...
i didn't know what to do and didn't know how to react even though i knew what i was doing was partially wrong; It was like balancing friendships.. now was that very 'harsh' treatment on my behalf?
please advise
@huilichan8 (1378)
• Singapore
5 Oct 11
I believe that in all relationships (incl. friendships), there's always an element of give-and-take. You can't always be the one to give in to your friend just because you feel that you've not been treating her fairly. She needs to reciprocate.
You can always spend time with her TOGETHER with other friends if she knows these other friends, isn't it? If not, maybe you can introduce her to your other friends? For me, I like to introduce my friends to one another so that all of us can go out together. That way, I won't hv to worry abt not spending time with any one of them. When we're together, I'll also make conscious effort not to leave anyone out of the conversation.
I can tell that you treasure your friendship with this friend. Otherwise, you wouldn't feel bothered. But I think you shouldn't always be the one to give in to her and let her treat you like trash. I feel that your friend is somewhat petty. (Pardon me for saying that abt your friend.) Since you hv been trying to make amends, I'm sure she shld be able to sense it. If she treasures her friendship with you, she really shld stop harbouring grudges against you and start appreciating you for all that you've been trying to do to make amends.
If you feel that you've been neglecting this friend, maybe you cld start being mindful of her feelings? Maybe you cld invite her along when you're mtg your other friends?
True friendships shld be able to endure all kinds of tests.
