She will never like me! (an Inlaw question.)

I went through the same thing and all I am going to tell you, is as long as your husband is not disrespecting you, or treating you like you are worthless because his mother say so than I would say who cares that she don't like you, your concern is your husband, and as far as the holiday's I still would go when he goes just to let her know that, I don't care what you think of me, these are the holiday's and family needs to be together, because regardless he is still your husband, and he is spending the holidays without you, when you became his wife, she had to except you any way whether she liked it or not, because what you are doing is putting your holidays on hold so he can be with his mother, and you are not the one with the problem, but go this Christmas or Thanksgiving when he goes, because regardless honey when you became his wife, you became first, and you are not putting him in a situation to choose, she is doing that, because she don't like you so she is making him choose. Think about it, she is getting her way right under your nose. I do understand, that you want to avoid drama trust we all do, but at the same time there has to be an end to this. Because this is to much especially if you all have children together. I don't know her but I do know that some mother's that don't like the woman that their son married they tend to try to have a hand in everything and I mean everything, they still are out there looking for another woman for their son, and talking bad about you around the kids, I mean I have seen it done that way, but if she is not like that, than honey you still have a chance to get to know her better and she has to give you that chance, she has to be fair.

Unfortunately i'm the kind who will make her life misreable sweetie. I cannot and won't ever force anyone to like me. But if you cannot take the time to get to know me and you want to make my life hell. Well, i am sure she will have the guts to take me on then. If he cannot think for himself, i will personally pack his bags. They should be grown=ups by now, don't you think?

You mean you give a wide berth to her so that you live in peace with each other.Good idea!Time may bridge between you and her.

Well, I think this happens sometimes. It's a pity for your relation but I hope the things are going to change for better. At the moment you can't do anything and only wait. May be is not a bad idea to try to get her sympathy and avoid confrontation.

It's going to be hard. I personally think that if the mother in law doesn't like me, then it's not my problem. She should learn how to accept whoever her son wants to marry, and she should also love her and accept her in the family. She should learn to adjust and accept changes in her "little" boy's life, that's the best gift she can give him, his happiness. :)

Oh it's really sad having that situation. I actually have a friend, she married a guy that her parent doesn't approve of. At first they tried to live in my friend's house, but unfortunately, they could not take the pressure. Her parents are a bit controlling, so they packed their bags and rented their own place. It's actually a good thing that my friend is strong enough not to give in to her parents wishes and stayed with her husband. But the sad thing is, whenever there are occasions or gatherings, she cannot bring her husband with her. I hope you can find a way to make amends with your in-law, even if you don't really try to befriend her. Just try to be civil around her. It would also be good for you and your husband.

i think of course you will like her to like you... but then just do not over do it.. and do not over do and you will surely find her liking you too somehow... i mean just love her son well...

I think both of you should be able to at least try why you guys aren't getting a long. I would do that if it were my girlfriend's mom didn't like me. I would try to see what I did wrong...But if she is one of those who tells her daughter that "she deserves to be with someone else that is more worth it," then I wouldn't even pay attention to her because it is the girls (in the discussion's case, the boys) decision on who he wants to be with.

My ex mother in law couldn't stand me...or I thought. She picked on me so much my blood pressure would go way up. The last time I was to her house I had three bloody noses from my blood pressure....I never went back again.

Hello, Sarah. I really don't know what is going on between you and your in-law but it seems to me that you are not 'in good terms' with her. That makes me wonder why... Perhaps, they consented their son's marriage to you so it is not really true that your in-law doesn't like you. Maybe, you have certain differences. But, if you'll try harder to find out why, then maybe you could patch things up and things will be a lot better between you and them. Why don't you give yourself a chance to like her and her to know you better, besides, you two love the same man.

Hey I like that, we have the same thoughts. My partner's mother didn't like me and she spread false issues against me. She even told her neighbors that I was the one who courted her son and his son didn't really like me. I was very upset with her but I dint mind it. But when she called my mother saying that I gave her expensive gifts, that's foul. I called her and yell at her and she keeps calling me names that I cannot take to hear but I didn't let her put me down. I cursed her over the phone and I did say bad words like I wanted her to die NOW. I broke up with her son and her son begged for me not to leave him. I made her son miserable until her son got mad at her. We are still communicating because of our child but I never came back to him as long as his mother is alive. I would never make anything to please somebody just to like me.

Well, it's not your mother-in-law that you will live with on the first place. Unless, you two will live with them, then i guess, it's really a problem. I used not to like my mother-in-law. I had a quarrel with her when i was in my maternity leave on my first year of marriage with his son. I cried out of anger with her for siding with my husband for having kicked out maid over a misdoing. I was trying to point out that it's not a good way to treat a maid. We had a shouting match. After that, i never ever speak with her, nor smile at her. In the end, she went to our house and was offering for any help which i didn't even take . From then on, she was to me . I guess, she realized i am not one to be easily intimidated by her.

Well, I don't think it's right to force someone to like you. If she decides to not like me, fine, it's her opinion, and she's entitled to it. I'll only act up to it if she decides to show me that she doesn't like me.

I agree with you. Why give your spouse a hard time? The woman is his mother. You cannot force him to choose between the two of you. It's also an act of respect to the in-law. If my mother-in-law didn't like me, I would do the same thing. Perhaps by not playing tug-of-war with her, she would learn to like me. Trying hard to please her would only make me feel pathetic and desperate.

Well if my MIL does not like me I don't think I should ever make any effort to please her. I would be just my natural self. I will not even avoid her presence. I believe I am not a bad person and have not done anything wrong with her so I don't even need to avoid her. I would just respect her just as I respect my parents but I don't need to change my natural self. Now if I do perform my duty as wife and mother very well and respect her as my MIL and yet my MIL would not still like me then I don't think it is my problem. If she does not like me then I don't think I should worry over that. For as long as my husband loves me then that is enough because that is what matters most to me. I did not marry my MIL but her son. If she can't like me then that is her problem. Nevertheless I am happy because in my real life, my MIL loves me so.

I would hope that she liked me but if she didn't, I won't suffer through being around her. It's better for her too. No one wants to be around someone that don't like so I would be doing us both a favor. If things are cordial and decent..fine...but if she was ever once obvious or said anything that made me feel unwelcome..that would be it.

Well if I were in that situation, I would put my blind eye on. I will act as if I don't know that she doesn't like me, and I hope she does the same. I'll try to be as civilized as possible and just not get in her way. We could be like two acquaintances for the sake of love.