Help: My friend is in trouble
By edumate
@rollylolly (2843)
India
October 5, 2011 9:43am CST
My friend Diksha was married a year ago . She was very happy and always spoke well of her husband and in-laws . For last few months she looked gloomy and pale . We all inquired but she said it was nothing serious . She had health issues etc etc . Only few days back she burst in tears when she visited my house . My mom insisted why she looked so and she revealed that her husband has developed drinking habits . He works in a corporate company and it is difficult for her to make him understand that it is bad . Her inlaws are not helping her and he has started beating her also . Oneday he even tried to push her out of the house in a drunkard state when she said she will take him to some rehabilitation centre. He is now maintaining a distance with her and does not love her at all . She can not take any decision . She is mentally upset . She loves him a lot . What should she do in such a situation . Please help with suggestions .
9 people like this
9 responses
@rmendoza123 (637)
• Philippines
6 Oct 11
Rehabilitate Diksha's husband, I think that's the best way to help her. Leaving her husband like is not an option. Love can go through a lot of trials, this is what you call a test of faith and love.
Good luck to you friend I hope she can go through it.
1 person likes this
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
7 Oct 11
Thanks so much mendoza . You speak exactly what my friend feels and says . She is very strong in her faith to bring him back to normal life . Hope everything work fine .
@nemurikuze90 (42)
•
6 Oct 11
In this kind of situation, your friend needs support especially to her family and friends now that she is mentally upset and she experience trauma already. She has to keep distance from her husband because later on he will do the worst things to her. As early as now, the husband should rehabilitate or fetched by the police. Women especially battered women has the right to file charges against their partners. It's a good step that your friend opened herself out.
I hope this will help you and your friend.
Keep safe always.
1 person likes this
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
7 Oct 11
Her parents and we friends are always with her . She is stubborn to see the end with him and not come out of the house or take any step . I am pestering her every moment to leave him and come and live with us but she is not not ready and says she needs more time . Thanks so much for your concern . God bless you !
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
5 Oct 11
There is absolutely no reason to stay with an abusive partner: if he's started beating her, she should get out.
Call the police. I don't know what the laws are like in your country but here in the UK he'd get a damned good slapping (verbally, at least) for that.
Maybe when she's gone, he'll realise how stupid he is. If he does - and changes - then that's great. If not, he's no loss to her.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
5 Oct 11
The laws are same here . What you suggested is practical but she in a emotion feat is not ready to leave her or take lawful step . I don't know how to help her . Her in-laws are also not helping her . Her parents want her to leave him and come back to them .
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
5 Oct 11
I agree with you SpikeTheLobster. She needs to get out of that situation before he seriously hurts her. I hate to hear about situations like this. I really hope it works out for her in the end.
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
5 Oct 11
Although it sounds fatalistic, the situation's not going to get better unless she does something. Or rather, it's very unlikely to. If her family wants her to come back, that's probably the best solution - a short while away can really put things in perspective and may wake him up to his stupidity. Like prospectboy, I hope it works out.
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
7 Oct 11
After reading this I wanted to answer instead of reading all the other replies. First off as much as her husband has a drinking problem, she also has her own problems to deal with. My first suggestion is that she quit trying to get him to do whatever she suggests. Second, She needs to go and get help for herself. Go and get some mental therapy to understand what he is doing to him as well as what he is doing to her. AND what she is doing to herself by staying.
This therapy doesn't work overnight, it takes time and patients. One has to learn to realize who they are themselves and appreciate themselves before going further to understand actions we do. This is what she needs to do. Once she can do this, I believe she will not need anyone to suggest anything, she will know what to do.
I hope she gets help for herself.. hugss n prayers
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
5 Oct 11
Its really a problem between the couple. The husband is really stupid to do such thing to his wife. If the parents of the guy cannot help, then there is no reason for the wife but to let him confront the husband and let him decide that if he continues to display this kind of act to her, she have no other way but to go away from him and stay with her folks not unless the parents of the wife will interfere now and help their daughter to solve the problem.
But it is really a big problem if the husband does not respect his own wife, there is no love so there is no reason to stay within that relationship. This is really a serious decision to make, so ask your friend if she can ask her folks to get in between and help, if not, then there is no other choice but to confront the husband straight.
1 person likes this
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
6 Oct 11
Thanks for your concern friend . Will keep your advice in mind .
@Tmulley (91)
• United States
5 Oct 11
Her husband most definitely will not stop unless he gets help. Things will only get worse and your friend could be caught in the crossfire. She should get out now and he can decide for himself if she is worth him changing himself and getting help. If not then she will know she did the right thing and never look back. If he gets help and tries to improve then she can see if at that time she feels like there is anything worth saving. MOst of the times its already over but that will have to be her decision being that she is married to him. Best of luck to her and I will keep her in my prayers! So sorry to hear that...I was also in a bad marriage but got out and nevr looked back :) she will be ok with help from good friends and loved ones.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
6 Oct 11
Thanks friend . I know what you said is absolutely justified . Your words are so inspiring . Hope I am able to convince her to take the right decision .
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Oct 11
There is actually not much you can do for your friend other than just to be there fore her. It can be frustrating because she might ok..probably will...waiver back and forth between sticking with him and leaving him. It's a personal choice and only she can make it. It's real easy to sit on the outside and KNOW the answer and quite another to actually be in that spot.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
6 Oct 11
Oh how very sad. She is in harms way physically and needs to get out ot there no matter how hard that is for her. Once she leaves maybe the husband will want to try to stop drinking, but she can't stay and enable him and put herself in harms way..I am so sorry for your friend..God Bless and care for her.
@vasumathi (436)
• India
6 Oct 11
I feel like, she first needs a moral support now. She should tell every thing to her parents right away and she should get their full support. so that they will be supporting her in all aspects. Then through her parents she can make her inlaws about the serious ness of the problem.
