Are we spoiling our children by giving them too much?

I will spoil the kids with books and art supplies. Books open the mind and art supplies develope creativity. However they always want the newest shinest toy. for example the other day I was running to Walmart with my sister and kids in tow and my daughter went down the toy isle and saw a new Barbie, she demanded the new toy and I said NO. It's not fair, it's not fair in a pouty voice.... she had a severe pouty fit and acted up a bit. She wanted the new toy and demanded it and I simply said did you do all your chores? No! Do you think it's fair to me for you demand a toy? No! Was it fair you didn't do your chores? No! Is your Bavior to me fair? No! She started to behave better even thou she was still pouty. At check out she wanted a chocolate bar when she saw me reach for a "Pep" mint patty. Then I blasted her with the Do you think you deserve a chocolate bar? Your behavior to me is not fair. When we got home I showed her that I bought leggings for her and a family movie... with the I buy you things all the time, look in your bed room, you have a bed, pretty decorations, tons of stuffies and bookself full of books. Your newest toy is the Barbie Fiat. She humbly apologoized for her behavior and said she was sorry for being ungrateful! It's hard for kids, the commercials aim straight for kids. I have seen commercials on the kid's tv channels actually ask Kids to ask thier parents to use thier visa/master card to order toys. Or simply ask your parents to go online to order. The sneaky ways they snag kids into buying plastic garbage toys. I had to acutally teach my child to see what the commercials was doing, with the saying "what do they want you to buy???" My daughter is normally 85% good, 10% tired, sleepy, hungry and 5% obnoxious 5 1/2 yr old (as seen above) I do see a lot of kids being spoiled and my child is a spoiled child but she has to earn the toys via chores. And she must put her toys away or they get tossed in the garbage. There are some toys she is no longer allowed to buy because of those horrid small peices that I end stepping on, those toys are my little pony and littles pet shop (which are stored in a plastic bin). I also make her GIVE away toys she has out grown. In the end I do agree with what you said, toys etc and material possessions do not make oneself happy. We are a close knit family and we spend a lot of time doing family games, walks etc. But it's still hard when everywhere is saying "BUY, BUY, buy". The holidays don't help, now its "Candy Candy Candy" and in a months time it will be " buy for others and yourself". It's tough to instill values when everywhere they are saying "Buy"

I don't know why us as parents think that we have to spoil our kids but when children want we want. We are only human and when something is new and untouched we have to get it. It is so true that spoiling them is a bad thing because it then gives them the thought that they can get what every they want and that does not prepare them for life. We all know as an adult we can't have every thing so why don't we teach our children this. In my case our kids have the whole basement to themselves and this gives them the idea that they don't have to respect there stuff or ours because we don't see it every day. They have to much freedom and that causes a head ache for us. Of course we thought it would be cool to give them it so they had there own space and we were wrong. Its brings us and our kids to fight more then it should because we gave them to much space to destroy. I agree that if we were to take it down a notch we would see that our kids would have a different attitude.

I think that what is going on is that some parents don't take the time to spent quality time with their kids. By buying them stuff, it makes them feel less guilty ,so they think that spoiling them is the answer to their emotional neglect.

A child's happiness, not money, or toys only. But harmony parents, and parental attention.

Hi Pose: I can't agree more with you. Even if I don't have children I have found that my uncle withs my little cousin almost everything she wants and she can do whatever she wants and he always finds an excuse. I think that he is teaching a materialistic way to seek for hapiness and that she is learning the wrong lesson and she is just 3! She might think that she deserves everything and that she just need to act like a spoiled little girl to get what she wants. ALVARO

I let my parents and inlaws do the spoiling. I have not bought my child a toy. Not a single one. When I think, Oh, I will just buy her this one thing, I force myself to think of the toy room full of toys that do get played with, but does she really need another one.(sorry for the run on) I instead have taken that money and bought a savings bond for her for college. I will let the grandparents do the spoiling, she still has plenty of "stuff" but she has learned that asking me for it will not get it for her. I have let her use her own money, that she has earned through little chores, to buy a stuffed animal or two from garage sales. She has earned money through her potty training, and is now earning it for doing small chores around the house. As a child, I loved boxes. Between boxes, tables, couches and blankets, I could make the best fort in my parents basement.

I make a point of spending time with my kids, playing games with them - often "imagination" games or "talking" games. They both love that. I do try to give them toys and things and I like to be able to give them the things they want but I also think about the things I give them. They rarely ask for anything so, on the occasions when they do, I will oblige if I can! They know that material possessions aren't important and, from the way their toys are gathering dust and I'm permanently tired, they seem to enjoy "doing" rather than "having". I don't care if I don't have stuff (I have about 3 or 4 non-essential items which are my own!)so they see that!

Oh boy dont I know about this!!! I used to think this where my oldest is involved and I have made a big mess out of his thoughts regarding money and it not being the most necessary thing. I feel bad about him because he is just way gone and stressing me out because he thinks that is what makes happiness and wont be happy unless he has it.

Maybe that's what grandparents are for. I do all those silly little things with my grandkids like catch lightening bugs.....blow bubbles...color...all those things that have been passed on from generation to generation...baking cut out cookies and decorating them...making homemade ice cream. I think toys are good as alot of them are educational....but remembering to do the little things..well that's what making memories is about!

Yes I do agree with you. Simple things can be entertaining toys to kids so I really believe we should not spend so much on toys. We don't have to spoil them with expensive toys and gadgets because they are actually not what the children need first and foremost. More than all the materials things around them, children needs to be given personal attention. Let us spend more quality time with them. Take time to tell them stories, take time to hug them and tell them we love them. Take time to teach them what is good and what is bad and most of all take time to teach them about the fear of the Lord.

I think that a lot of people are falling into the trap of using money and material goods to make up for the things that they are unable to give to their children. A lot of people do this, but I think that it gives people an entirely incorrect idea of the things that should be important in our lives. You should think a lot more about love and family to make you happy rather than just the amount of money that you have in your bank account, or the amount of shoes and clothes and electronic things that your parents can afford to buy your for Christmas.

I think it depends on our financial condition. I often buy my daughter expensive toys or clothes when my financial condition is good. but when we don't have much money I stop buying her toys or clothes no matter how cheap they are. LOL. I sometimes also think like what you say whether I spoiled her too much. but I say to myself, NO, I don't cos it's seldom buying her expensive toys or clothes. I often take my daughter to have picnic but we spend only little. when she asks me to buy her something expensive and I'm sure those are not important enough to buy, I try to give her explanation..bla..bla..bla..it works on her. it's a kind of 'tug of war' method..LOL..