Love mylot but some things here leave me feeling sad.

I am sorry my dear Hatley that you are sadden after reading a discussion that reminded you about the passing of your husband. Very tough question to answer as you know and have lived that smoking is an addiction that is not easy to let go. Sure most smokers know that it is life threatening, but such as any other form of addiction it is not something one can easily say, I quit today. You know in your heart of hearts Hatley that you did all you could and then some to get him to stop, sadly he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to the addiction was much powerful for him to handle. All one can do is keep reminding the smoker how much they are loved and continue helping them with encouragement anytime they try to quit. There is nothing anyone can do to get them to stop, outside of the smoker wanting to quit.

Hello Hatley, I think convincing someone to quit smoking is as difficult as with any addiction. My mother had a stroke three weeks ago and the doctors told her to change her way of living into a healthier one in order to eliminate the risk of having a new stroke. A new lifestyle would mean stop working in the field when the weather is hot, stop eating unhealthy fats (as her cholesterol is too high). But guess what? She doesn't want to change anything! The doctors told her she shouldn't eat pork any more but she doesn't want to quit. The doctors told her to stop working like a slave in the field but she doesn't want to leave her crops. I feel so helpless because I can't do anything to convince her to stop doing what increases the risk of a new stroke. It's exactly like the struggle to convince somebody to quit smoking. If the person doesn't want to quit, any attempts from our part is a failure from the start.

Sadly, going on about quitting to your loved one/s only makes them feel guilty and then they feel anxious and smokers think smoking helps their anxiety. It doesn't help anything of course but that's how insidious the addiction to nicotine is. Smokers will even try and convince you that they thoroughly enjoy smoking...they truly believe that they do but that's the nicotine talking through the addiction. I always recommend the book "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr. I quit cold turkey after reading it and had no cravings or anything. What stops many smokers from quitting is FEAR. They are terribly afraid of never, ever having another ciggy. It scares the pants off them and they will come up with every excuse under the sun not to quit.

I am very sorry to hear that. I am a smoker but I do not have any helath problems from it as of yet. I truly would quit if it did affect me like that though. I just really do enjoy it.

Dearest Hatley, sorry for the late response, but am just home for the weekend and have computer access. The sad truth is, you cant do anything to change another persons ways. I am sorry to say that. Same with my hubby. Not about smoklng but about eating the wrong stuff most of the time. We are together for 9 years now and married 6 of them but he always blamed the meds for gaining weight. When I told him to please change his eating habits a little (step by step like not putting butter on his slice of bread when he wants sausage on that bread) he grumbled at me like a cat with prey in its paws, grrrrr leave me alone with my eating habits. The big bang so to say came this year in March when he had some trouble with too fast a heartbeat and wat admitted to hospital. The EKG showed that he has a tight blood vessel directly at the heart, you cant use bypass surgery to get rid of that so they said he needs blood pressure meds and later he was in rehab for 4 weeks. Now he is eating more sensible and has already lost quite a bit of his extreme overweight. He obviously needed that big bang to realize where he was standing, healthwise.

hello hately madam, my job forces me to look into may smokers almost daily.i try my level best to persuade them to quit smoking but am not sure if they really take up my suggestion.its really hard to convince somebody to quit these habit as they are so addictive but one should never loose a hope and should always keep on trying.there is no harm in trying for something which is beneficial to someone you care for.may be one day they will gain the strength to fight back this addiction.

sorry about your loss. you can try and convince others to quit smoking but utimately it is the person's decision. sometimes you just cant convince them.

Good morning, dear Hatley! I don't know what to say here, as I am a "smoker" and for the months of July and August, went thru a HUGE amount of tests for the big "C"! I found out on Sept. 23rd they are benign fibroids, but must be tested every 3 months. YES...I am old enough to know what I am doing, BUT the whole time I was being tested and the long, long wait for results, just drove me into a "frenzy"...I could not eat or sleep, just smoked, fully knowing it was the worst thing I could do. I think it is the worst addiction in the world, and I KNOW I must do something about it..BUT..I haven't. Our Provincial Government will even NOW pay for OTC med's like Nicorette, and Nicorette Gums, and other "quitting aids," so I am gearing myself up, as I know I MUST make up my own mind to STOP! It seems the more I am nagged, the worse it gets! I'm NOT adding much quality here, but I wanted to add an addicts point! Have a great weekend, Hatley...it is our Canadian Thanksgiving on Monday, so the kitchen is ramping up..Pies made, Turkey thawing, etc.

Hi there Hatley, I am a smoker and I have to tell you that is one really hard question to answer. Quitting is so hard and I will say that bugging a person to quit usually doesn't work. It might make them not smoke around you or lie to you about their addiction but not much more. I think it is something that a person really,really has to want to do for themselves and even then...it's really hard. I've tried countless times and always ended up going back to it. Our rental complex is being taken over by new owners next month and their new rule is "no smoking anywhere on the property". If we get caught then it is grounds for eviction. Well, I've been cutting back even before getting this notice. They almost did this a while back but then conceded that as long as we didn't throw butts on the ground, we could smoke outside. Now I have little choice but to quit. I think really that all you can do when someone makes up their mind to quit is be supportive.

Hatley, I believe we should be firm when it comes to habits like smoking when it affects both the smoker and much more those living in close proximity with them. The health hazards and consequences warrants it and as such being firm does not make our love any lesser or unloving. Besides, they should be wary of the hazards and consequences - more so what their habits would do to others.

indeed it is hard to convince any one to stop smoking. i did try and i just gave up.

Hi Mrs.Hatley, sad to hear this but one whom got a disease can only help by his/her own awareness to get heal. try to make him aware that he could lost many things if he keeps on smoking. we can't push them to not do that even we love them very much

People here have a free reign on what topics they want to discuss. Some are a bit painful than others. And it's unavoidable that some my distress others. Sorry that a discussion here made you sad Hatley. Just like how we derive strength and laughter from what people post in here, we also get the bad. I hope you're feeling better now.

'SMOKE' I also really hope to stop sucking, I have tried several ways to make stops, somehow it seems very difficult....

Hi dear, this is such an important discussion. It feels sad to realize that the hard work that we are doing are not reciprocated. We have to be motivated, we have to change our habits and lifestyle. Sadly, in most cases the onus goes to the surrounding issues and people. No one can make us do something, if we are not motivated enough.

sadly not much can be done. the kids have helped me to cut way down and a couple days before surgery i hardly smoked but a couple puffs a day and still i can not quit. its just something with some that have a very strong addictive personality cant seem to kick it/.

dear Hatley, My mom also is a smoker and I always ask her to stop, but she keep saying smoking give her peace of mind when she feels lonely and homesick being away from us. She lives and worked in UK and I am always worried about her health. She is not a chain smoker, but still she smokes and it's not good for our health. have a good day ma'm

I have never smoked in all my born days,therefore I am not aware of how the people who quit smoking should feel.Smoking is a dangerous addiction and an acquire taste.I guess it is hard to stop smoking .It depends on whether one has strong willpower or not.My Dad who passed away last year at the age of 93 was formerly a heavy smoker.when he started stopping smoking,he was deeply perturbed all day,later he can't really stand it,he had to chew candy on end.He guitted smoking at last.

really feeling pity for you and i can understand your feelings and caring towards your husbands. Many people knows that smoking is injurious to health and it causes serious damage to heart and lungs. The cigrette packet itself contains 'no smoking ' warnings. But people are least bother about that and finally when they realise they will be affected with serious disease like cancer. Smokers should think about their health and about their family and they would try to give up smoking.

I don't think anyone can convince a smoker to quit until they are ready to hear it. I used to smoke and the more anyone would nag me about it the more irritated I would become and smoke more. No doubt that was childish but it was an emotional reaction. It is really hard to quit smoking and no way can it be done until the smoker convinces themselves they truly want to quit. So, Hatley..don't feel bad..had you pushed more maybe he would have smoked more...