20-year relationship ended up in marriage. But I am not the Bride
@stephaniebfsu (13)
China
October 9, 2011 10:17am CST
My friend and I have feelings towards each other for 20 years. Ever since we were in Kindergarten, he and I have been best friends. We went to the same primary school, same junor high school, same senior high school. Both went to Beijing to attend University and both went to the UK to pursue studies. Yesterday, he got married. But I am not the Bride. I am deverstated. I feel I really need him. That feeling in my mind can not be torn away. All the people went to the wedding ceremony thought I was the BRIDE. But it is not the case. I feel myself such a failure in my life. I never have the courage to say out my love.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
10 Oct 11
Hi Stephanie,
Welcome to Mylot!! I am not understanding this. You say you had feelings for each other which tells me that it wasn't one-sided. He had feelings for you and you knew that, right? How is it that this could happen then? Did you not know he was seeing someone else? If he had feelings for you, why did he marry someone else? And why did all the people attending the wedding think that YOU were the bride? Did he marry someone that no one knew? I feel like I'm missinng some important information in this story. It could be just me being stupid too. I worked a long shift tonight and I'm tired so maybe it's just me.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
10 Oct 11
Oh, I see. Now it makes a lot more sense to me. So he actually KNOWS you better than the girl he ended up marrying? That's really sad. Well, at this point, there isn't much you can do and I wouldn't advise telling him your feelings now because all that could do is either make things awkward or cause problems in his marriage.What you should do is still be his good friend and get to know his new wife. If his marriaage works out, then you'll still have your friend and gained another. If it doesn't, well, maybe there'll be hope for the two of you.
@stephaniebfsu (13)
• China
10 Oct 11
No,it's not you.It is me.The whole thing is kind of complicated.
We both had feelings for each other. But it is just kind of best friend, not that boy and girl relationship. Besides, we share the similar personality. No one dares to take a further step to develop our friendship.
I knew he was seeing someone. But the so-called girlfriend is far away from him, who is in the other end of the country. So on one takes it serious.
We both were born in a small coastal city in China. We went to the same place to study and went abroad together. All the people back in hometown thought we were in love. That's all I think.
@raj_ka (431)
• India
9 Oct 11
I understand you feelings stephanie and i too am facing this situation. But in my case i am seperated from him very long back. I felt that i need him only from past two year, i really do not understand what this feeling is called. My dilemma is that he must have never treated me as friend or neither we were close but i feel that i missed something.
It is very heart breaking feeling from your side and i hope you will come out of it soon.
@stephaniebfsu (13)
• China
10 Oct 11
Thank you so much for your comfort. Actually, we are never together and we are never seperated. That feeling is strange. But when he really married, It came to me that he was gone. That moment is so....unm...I don't know. Maybe all should be gone.
