My Friend Won't Let Me See My Girlfriend
By rovered777
@rovered777 (649)
United States
October 9, 2011 2:46pm CST
I have a friend, who is a girl. She is a close confiding person who will talk to me whenever I want. We've been friends since high school. Ever since we graduated high school, she is really insisting on getting closer to me. She has asked me to sleep with her and spend one weekend at a 5 star hotel. The only thing that I wanted was friendship. I have a girlfriend who is much closer to me emotionally and physically.
How should I avoid upsetting my friend? Is there a way to tell her that I don't want to date?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
9 Oct 11
You need to tell your friend that you only want friendship and that you are in a happy relationship right now and you don't want to hurt your girlfriend. To me, it's very inappropriate that your friend is asking you to sleep with her and do things with her. Nicely tell her how you feel and that you still want to be friends with her. But if she keeps trying to get you to do stuff with her, then you'll need to make a decision to either stay away from her since you don't want to do anything bad to hurt your girlfriend's feelings or to just stay friends with this girl even though she wants something more than friendship. I just think this friend needs to know that she's just a friend and not someone you're interested in dating.
@rovered777 (649)
• United States
9 Oct 11
That's a great way to stop the battle. I'll have to go with the idea that telling her is the best way to proceed.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
9 Oct 11
Yes, definitely let her know. Be firm but nice about it. Since she seems to be a good friend to you, you don't want to hurt her feelings. You also don't want to hurt your girlfriend's feelings either and if you're too nice to this girl your girlfriend's feelings may get hurt because she'll think you're being too nice to this girl instead of sticking up for your relationship. I only say this because I'm speaking from how I would feel if my boyfriend was in a similar situation. If he had a friend that wanted to sleep with him I would want him to be firm and tell her no. Being too nice might lead the girl to believe he doesn't really mean it when he says no. I would appreciate it a lot more if my boyfriend valued our relationship enough to put an end to what his friend was doing. Good luck!
@mummyof2 (10)
• United Arab Emirates
9 Oct 11
Hi!Sometimes we get into such a situation coz we are not able to say no to people we are close to or consider them to be so. But in your case u have to set the priority for yourself. YOu have to think and realise which relation is more important for you that is your girlfriend or this other friend of yours. And once you have decided which seems like what you have mentioned that you do not want to date her. The best would be to make your intentions clear to her. And its always better to let go of such friends as they wud create more trouble for you in the future.You have to learn to say no and tell her the truth..how much ever you feel bad or she feels bad hearing it. Face it. No other way out
@rovered777 (649)
• United States
9 Oct 11
Yes, I totally agree with you. So many situations have to be faced and dealt with. Letting her know is the best way out.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
10 Oct 11
somethings do hurt ,however they are to be said strictly,When there is no wish of urs to be on date with her then why should u try to hide that,Should be clear cut with the view that you are not interested .And show that you have a girlfriend whom u wish to be with and spend time.There should be clarity in any relationship,should have transparency,she is your friend she would definetly understand you.
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
11 Oct 11
It shows your friend fell in love with you ever since, and its hard for her to let go of someone she loves so much. Anyway such kind of friendships exit and the results for them are so painful. But here, you have no choice but to tell your friend to move on because you have a girlfriend already
@tanishqtwinkle (1)
•
11 Oct 11
i think u need to be straight forward. because if u will take this issue casually it will rise up..so go to her nd tell her wats in ur mind...nd how u thnk abot her..if she is your true friend, then she will understand your feelings
