my brother

She is very immature, 17 years old! One day she will realize what she is doing and she will be sorry, but maybe for that moment it is too late... I would say, I feel sad for that baby, is the person who is gonna suffer and pay the consequences of it the most.

I get a little confused with your story. But i guess, your sister-in-law might have previously agreed to have their child taken cared by you instead of her, because the baby is still unborn. But once she saw the baby, i guess her maternal instinct came out, thus she retracted in her previous decision about the baby.

So sorry for all your family discord, indahfth, I hope things improve. Marriage brings great commitment that some are not ready to except nor manage; we can only be there to help them when asked. Do not dismay, you cannot live life for someone else, no matter how much you love them. Wish them well and be there for them if they need you; live your own life as an example for them and maybe they will learn by watching you.

I understand the confusion as I am reading your response to other mylotters comment. I think your sister in law changed her mind and feel the bondage with her baby. Sometimes pregnant women decides to have their baby adopted, but once they saw, embrace and kissed the baby, they changed their minds. I hope that is the main reason why your sis in law changed her mind and wants to keep her baby. Have a good day

I am sorry that this happened to your sister in law, this was happen too, to my sister in law. She change her values after she knows that my brother is not that really rich and she can't get any from the family. But keep on treating her right as part of your family too let your brother resolves their issue about their own family. you could give some advice to your brother but don't step into their line.

Hi Inda It is good to know that they are taking care their baby. Whatever may be the problem within the family, a baby should not suffer. Ensuring baby's care is the most important duty for all the persons concerned. And your brother's family has done that. Obviously, this makes you happy as you have already mentioned. As far as the strange change in the mind of your sis-in-law is concerned, hope the change has brought goodness and caring attitude and pray that all of you stay together happily. Take care.

The best thing for you is not to meddle in your brother's marriage problems. It will worsen the situation more. Let them tackle their own problems.

I am orry but I could not completely understand your story. Specially the final part of it. You mean to say she is not willing to reveal her marriage to her friends and your family?! How could that be? You would have already attended their marriage! Please explain. Am actually a bit confused.

Hi Indah i try to understand. why your sister in law wants to keep her marriage as a secret? is she have another affair? or she is shame that she had married by accident?

I understand indahfth as firstly she is not recognizing your brother as her husband. So your concern of the initial discussion to care for the baby is worrying you, because you are wondering how she will nurture and care for the baby if she is not acknowledging her husband. Being she is so young perhaps she is not ready to be a parent. Continue to guide her, for the sake of the baby and if there is probability that you hear she does not want the baby, you will be more then happy to take care of the baby. I just hope she keeps the babies welfare as a priority.

Here's what I think you are trying to say. Your brother and his wife were having problems a few months ago before their baby was born. Now their baby has been born. Earlier, your sister-in-law did not want to take care of her baby and you let her know you were willing to take care of it. But then there was a quarrel between your family and the family of your sister-in-law. Now she and her family have changed their minds and they want to care for the baby themselves. This makes you happy if they do, indeed, really want to care for the baby. But you are wondering why this change in your sister-in-law's attitude took place. You wonder if it's a genuine change of attitude, and you are worried that they may be hiding something. You wonder why your brother and his wife will not openly admit their marriage when with their friends, and why your sister-in-law's family does not want anything to do with your family. Did I understand you correctly? Sometimes people think they will not want a baby or to care for it before their baby is actually born. But something about seeing their child makes them change and they realize they love the child. Then they do not want to send the baby to someone else. It might also be that the sister-in-law's family wants the baby and are afraid your family is trying to get the baby away from them. Those are just guesses. You proably know better than I if these are good guesses.

Any person may change at any time, without warning by the people around him. Provide the opportunity for them, to do what they want to do. Hopefully, they do bring goodness, and happiness.