my first marriage anniversary is tomorrow...
By birdie816
@birdie816 (1276)
United States
October 12, 2011 7:53pm CST
i thought i would be a whole lot more excited about that but i am not really...i mean literally as i am typing this my husband came in the house from running to make a rude comment and then storm back out of the house. he is just really petty lately. i don't even think he realizes (or cares) that it is our anniversary tomorrow. earlier he was thinking he had to go do something work related tomorrow but it was rescheduled. so then he said "wow. i have nothing to do tomorrow." l=as if he didn't know what could possibly be done on your anniversary. then i said "well why don't you just spend time with me?" and then he just looked at me like "why would i want to do that?"...i am starting to think we will not last beyond the second year of marriage. and strangely enough i am starting not to care. i guess it is hard to care when your husband treats you like that.
5 people like this
15 responses
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well things have gotten better since then. and thank you :)
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
20 Oct 11
we're trying to not have problems but we are going through a very stressful time right now. alot is happening
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
Oh that is just sad! 
I mean, the comment "why would I want to do that?" is just heartbreaking, and it's only been almost a year of marriage!
But perhaps it's a surprise? I am curious as to what happened since the topic was a day ago.. I do hope it wasn't as bad as I thought.. I am still hopeful.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
I mean, the comment "why would I want to do that?" is just heartbreaking, and it's only been almost a year of marriage!
But perhaps it's a surprise? I am curious as to what happened since the topic was a day ago.. I do hope it wasn't as bad as I thought.. I am still hopeful.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
thank you for your optimism lol. that did hurt my feelings but we talked about a few things and we are currently doing better. we ended up spending a little quality time together on our anniversary so it wasnt that bad...it could have definately been better though lol. also we went out the next night to make up for the wasted time on our anniversary
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
15 Oct 11
Wow!! This would be a rough place to be in especially only being Married a yr. I often feel Sorry for people who think like that, and wonder how they can even begin to think they are helping themselves. Personally it sounds like your Marriage needs some help from Marriage counseling or something, and I will be Praying that somehow things can make known of what is Best for you and this marriage as well.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well thank you. i really appreciate your prayers and i will be praying also. hoepfully we can maybe get some counselling because i think we need it also
@anitha123 (252)
• India
15 Oct 11
It is really very sad to hear. How can you be with the person who doesn't care about your personal feelings. If his behavior is like that it is hard to live with him
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
yeah it is difficult to live with him at times but we are trying to make things work
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
Hold on a second, try to save the relationship and don't think too negative because of what your husband is showing you. Since it's the anniversary of you two, just make surprise during that day so that he will be sorry for forgetting your special day.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well i am trying to save the relationship and oddly enough he is the one who ended up surprising me the next day after he saw how bad he was acting on our anniversary :P
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
thank you! and we will try. i know that we are both very difficult people so taking care of us is hard lol
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
13 Oct 11
Most men don't remember things like that. But maybe you can give him a little reminder. Try to make the day as special as you can for the two of you. Fix a nice dinner, maybe run a bubble bath for you to share, relax on the couch or in the bed and try to make nice conversation as you snuggle.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
i did end up doing that in the end. we ended up cuddling on the couch in front of the tv. i guess that is something
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
i agree. i think the first five years may also be the best years...but that is just my opinion. because they are so difficult it is more rewarding to get through them. that is how i feel whenever me and my husband make up after a really bad argument. as of right now we are doing ok by the way so hopefully we will make it past the other four years lol.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
hm...well at the moment it was difficult to smile without seeming fake. so i didnt do much of that until almost the end of our anniversary because we were still mad at each other froma previous argument. but it did get better.
@marguicha (222368)
• Chile
13 Oct 11
I have read posts made by you about some marriage problems. It is quite early to start with them and I did not like that you said in another post that you were ugly because your husband said so. A marriage does not mean a certain number of anniversaries, but daily commitments on both sides. If you think you don´t have it, discuss it, seek help and, if nothing helps, move on. You are too young to be other than excited by your first anniversary.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
i agree. i am really young to be having so many problems. i think we should have waited a bit before we tied the knot. otherwise i think we would have been completely fine...(we were fine until recently). anyway i am just trying to take things one day at a time like you said and so far they are getting alot better. there have only been a couple of very small disagreements that we settled quickly since i made this post. thanks for your help
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Sometimes wives demands and always complain without even thinking what is brothering their husband.
Why not plan for a dinner and give him a surprise he might have some problem in his office and he never had intention to ignore or neglect you.
Just give it a try not to spoil your first anniversary.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and Good luck 
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well i didnt do that (because i did not see this post until today) but we did manage to make the anniversary better towards the end after arguing all day.
@sjvg1976 (41275)
• Delhi, India
14 Oct 11
Hello Birdie,
Oh yes your husband seems to be rude
.But i think with the time he will improve. I remember when we were newly married i also used to say like this to my wife but now when we have completed 6 years of marriage i can say that now there is lot of differnece and now i say what will i do without you to my wife.
Hope when you too complete 4~5 years of your marriage life your husband also start saying like this.
.But i think with the time he will improve. I remember when we were newly married i also used to say like this to my wife but now when we have completed 6 years of marriage i can say that now there is lot of differnece and now i say what will i do without you to my wife.
Hope when you too complete 4~5 years of your marriage life your husband also start saying like this.@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well i sure hope it doesnt take that long lol. but it is good to know that there is hope :) and slowly but surely things are starting to get better...i now it has only been like 3 days so imagine what 5 years will bring :)
@anusha2128 (886)
• India
13 Oct 11
Hai very sad to listen about your marriage life.. but have you ever tried to give love to your husband by not expecting love from him??? Try this on your anniversary. Show him how much you love him. Then automatically he will realize his mistake. Hope you will plan great.. All the best..Remember this is your 1st anniversary and don't miss the moment.
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
well i tried to talk to him and tell him how i felt about everything but he didnt really want to hear it because he was busy playing video games (like he always does when he is off of work). anyway when i did what you said though, things got alot better and we ended up pretty happy in the end. now we think we may be expecting our first child. thanks for the advice :)
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I really wanna greet you a happy anniversary but it seems you aren't really happy at all. It;s really unbelieavable but I guess most men forgets anniversaries and important dates of their lives. Why don't you surprise him on your first anniversary by making it romantic. If his reaction is still negative, then I guess there is really something wrong......
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
16 Oct 11
i know he remembered. i just think he was being mean because we were still in the middle of an argument when he said that. anyway, it turned out ok towards the end when we put our differences aside and just relaxed together
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
28 Oct 11
Well, I must say HAppy Belated Anniversary! I am glad that you had a nice time towards the end of the day. I hope that everything goes well for you, but if you don't talk to him about his behavior then he may not change and it might lead to the end of your marriage. It sounds to me from this discussion that you two might need some help with the marriage. I wish you the best! Marriage is a constant job and I would not recommend it to anyone young. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years and so I speak from experience!
